Teenager hates our dog

[WeetabixForDinner]

We have a 7 year old dog we've had since she was a puppy. The problem is her barking when she's home; she barks at people walking by, if she hears the word hello, a knock, if we're dancing around or playing, she is very hostile towards anyone she doesn't know, or sometimes just people not in the family, she even barks when we're out for a walk and I stop to talk to someone (at me this time). The barking is very loud and can go on for sometime. I took her to training when she was young but the barking was so bad I was getting bad looks and it got too much and I left. I have lived quite isolated since. We can't really have anyone round, it was horrendous when I bought a house and had people in to do work on it.

My 15yo hates her. I tells me everyday that she has ruined his childhood and he can't have friends round. He gets angry with her and will push her bum.

Apart from the above, she has been a lovely day and I absolutely love her, she is great off lead, incredibly affectionate, she's incredibly clever (which may be a contributing factor). Also, my 11yo disabled son adores her, he would be distraught if we needed to rehome her.

For one reason or another (never due to even considering puppies) time has passed and I never got her neutered. I am next month. Will this help?

She gets a lot of exercise, although there are some days during the week she needs more, I just struggle due to work and commuting and school, she never really has less than an hour a day off lead. She has a dog walker a few times a week. I WFH mostly so she's never left alone for long.

I am struggling to meet the needs of everyone in my household, and so everyone is unhappy.

she is very hostile towards anyone she doesn't know, or sometimes just people not in the family, she even barks when we're out for a walk and I stop to talk to someone (at me this time). The barking is very loud and can go on for sometime.

I think safe to say barks at strangers whilst being walked

You’ve been really quite hostile to the OP. I think you are sticking the boot in.

you also seem to be taking my comments quite personally, which is is strange as I didn’t say anything particularly groundbreaking to begin with. Certainly not something that would have most people flicking through my posting history. 😂

anyway OP, I hope the training helps, you start to feel a bit more confident with the dog, the barking reduces and you can all live a more peaceful life.
best of luck with it, let us know how it goes

She said she barks at her. Reread it.

Yes, as that’s unusual.
whereas the barking at strangers… isn’t

Ok.

Enjoy your evening.

best of luck OP

You were saying you have a walker, has she ever been to doggy daycare? It could give a bit of respite the odd day, also does he ever like her? Does he laugh if she’s excited or playing? So if you took her to a well kept doggy play area, even a private one, would he go with you so he could start to get back to enjoying something about her? Sounds so hard op x

You too

Could you get more specialised training? Like in The Dog House and Graeme?

Jesus this attitude is why there’s no compassion for animals - you teach your son that life doesn’t revolve around him , that he doesn’t push your dog for any reason , that you don’t get rid of animals because they may have some emotional issues. He will grow up and not look back , the dog has only you , you need to find some coping mechanisms for your son and probably the dog too. He’s a member of the family too.

I think she needs to be rehomed. The dog won’t live forever, at some point your 11 year old will need to face losing her. Meanwhile other family member’s lives, including yours OP, are being severely impacted. Please consider letting her go to a more suitable environment, accept that this wasn’t the dog for you but be grateful for the enjoyment she has given you for the last seven years.

Exactly, the way this child's being spoken about as if he is suffering neglect or something. Ridiculous.

Surely DS is very clear that the world doesn’t revolve a round him. Acutely aware

A well qualified modern behaviourist is the best route forward as understanding the root of the behaviour will influence the optimum response.

However, in the short term there are a few things that you could try. These are not quick or ultimate fixes but may help toward the ultimate goal.

1. Identify a couple of very favourite treats. Attach these to a cue such as a dog whistle. I.e. when the whistle blows they get one of these favourite treats. In time this can be conditioned so they will travel to find you when they hear it. Once it is well conditioned you can pair it with e.g. the doorbell ringing so they slowly change their reaction to being "great, let's go find my favourite treat" instead of barking. Note when initially linking the cue to an outsider influence you need to have control of the outside influence so the trigger becomes boring in training. For the doorbell you can just detach it from the door initially, so there is not the stress/excitement of answering it to start with before working up to dummy runs (opening the door with no one there) and then with a stooge (a patient friend). Each step needs to be solid before moving on.

1. Teach the call - come - go game. Call their name, as they come towards you and get close throw a treat/a piece of their dinner out past you. This puts them in the right place to begin the game again. This is a simple brain game and supports their recall. This can then be extended if you arrange for a patient friend to visit (although the treats may need to become a little more tempting) so the dog can get a double reward when engaging with you and the friend by getting a treat and the reduced demand in having moved away.

1. Teach a simple target game. Search online for better instructions but you can use just your hand to start with. Initially reward them for approaching the target and once they understand increment the expectation closer until they have learnt to touch the target with their nose for a treat. At this point introduce the cue word. You can then begin to move the target for them to touch slowly increasing the amount of movement required. Once established you can often use this to help them disengage from barking at something. You can do multiple touches in a row to keep their attention. A clicker can make making the timing clearer.

1. Teach a settle. It is often paired with a place or a mat. Resting, especially when there are stimuli, is a skill that needs to be learnt and isn't automatic. Again, the internet will explain this far better than me.

1. Implement simple scent games as part of their daily routine. E.g.
2. Hide a particular toy or a treat pouch and reward on finding. Start easy and make it harder once they understand and enjoy the game.
3. Teach them to target a scent (similar to the target game above - it can be as simple as a herbal tea bag). Then get a couple of egg boxes or upturned cups/flower pots and put the scent in one. Reward them when they identify which it is in. This may be accidental at first until the understand the game. As they get more confident and accurate you can increase the number of dummies.
4. Scatter feeding - simple throw a handful of their dinner around a room or the garden and let them find the pieces. This is also great to practice out walking as can teach that the walk doesn't have to be go, go, go.
5. Basic trail following. Find a consistent scent to use (it can be as simple as a tea bag or a treat filled pouch). Attach it to a string and drag it along the ground to it's finish location. Initially last treats along the trail as you go slowly increasing the distance between them until the dog follows the scent trail to the end some. Always reward them finding the scent item.

There are lots of great resources online and on YouTube. If they are still running then a few years ago I found that Dog Training Advice and Support on Facebook has lots of articles and useful resources.

Unfortunately barking is typically self rewarding (bark and good thing happens/bark and scary thing goes away/bark and nothing happens at all - even if the barking had nothing to do with it) so does need effort and consistency to resolve but it can be overcome and, if you are willing to put the time and effort in, is certainly worth another try. Good luck.

I am concerned that 7 years in… all it took was for a poster to say … “look into getting a dog behaviour expert” and that galvanised the op to do something.

7 years and this never occurred to you @WeetabixForDinner ?

I’d get her rehomed , neither you, your son or the dog are happy. Your other son may adore her but I assume he cannot help on caring for her. Maybe eventually get a more suitable dog for him and your family.

This. The Op doesn’t sound like she has the time or the experience to commit to fixing this situation. That’s not a criticism of her, but a realistic observation. The dog needs a home where it will thrive.

I get that DS2 is strongly attached to the dog. It’s important to remember that most dog owners have to face the devastating loss of their pet at some point. Dog owners rarely just have one dog, there is a pattern of love, loss and replacement which most accept.

DS2 will be able to transfer his affection to another lower maintenance pet and love it just as deeply. That’s the nature of pet ownership, you love, you lose, you love again.