Breeder turned us down

[Sellingseashells]

Spoken to a breeder last night about pups due later this year. Was recommended by a friend.i though it was going well but breeder said no. Said he don’t sell to people with children. DC are 10 and 4. Dog savvy.

i know the breeder doesn’t have to sell to us, but I’m really upset. Is it worth trying again? What do I do?

Dear god please don't have your first attempt at dog ownership with a 4yo human and a puppy from an excitable and energetic breed in the same household. What a recipe for disaster! Any sensible breeder should turn you down.

You either need to adopt an older dog wile a proven placid and tolerant personality and low energy, or you need to wait a few years until your youngest is at least 8 or 9 years old.

Not all rescues or rescue dogs are alike. I've worked with rescues for years and have been both a homechecker for adoption and a behavioural assessor and incidents like the one highlighted are few and far between given the amount of dogs adopted each year. Most rescue dogs are there through no fault of their own and make lovely pets so please, its hard enough finding homes for animals at the moment without you highlighting an unfortunate incident which puts people off adopting. All dogs can bite and you will get bitten if you try to seperate two dogs who are fighting and take the wrong approach. The bigger the dog, the worse the bite unfortunately. Of course Dogs Trust would highlight resource guarding issues, its the responsible thing to do. The most aggressive dogs normally end up in sanctuaries where they have one carer and no other interaction with people due to their upbringing and the trauma at the hands of past owners. Others are euthanised as they are beyond help but they are rarely if ever adopted out. A dog can easily be weaponised, take a look at some of the morons on Youtube training XL bullies before the ban by training them not to trust, I won't elaborate on that as its so cruel but pkease anyone who thinks aggressive dogs are born that way, they're not but any dog can become aggressive in the right curcumstances, even one from a breeder.

@Sellingseashells That sounds VERY sensible indeed.

Raising a puppy will be significantly more enjoyable, and easier, with an 8 year old who can actually help to some degree, rather than a 4 year old who will need as much management as the puppy in some cases.

Of course there are always going to be people who find it easy to manage whatever combination of kids/dogs, find certain harder to manage dogs super easy - they are the outliers though, they are not the norm!

@Khayker yes it’s responsible to highlight resource guarding. It’s downright irresponsible to sell a dog with those sorts of issues to someone with primary aged children - and DT say they would.

That, is unacceptable. And I could go through most other big dog rescue centres and they’d do the same.

I know how disappointing it is, but the breeder isn’t wrong. My parents got a cocker when we were kids (from the woman who ran our nursery) and she was incredibly bitey and quite aggressive. In all honesty, my parents should never have got her!

Maybe a cocker isn’t the breed you need. I got a Northen Inuit x Czech Wolfdog and my children were 4 & 8. My ex husband had a Malamute, so the kids were used to big dogs and I picked the breeder because of her dog’s temperaments. It took management & training of both the puppy and the children and no one got bitten. He was mouthy as a puppy (as many are) so play was heavily supervised and the children are never left alone with him.

4 years later I’ve got a dog who is brilliant with children (he’s my sons class mascot!) and children who are brilliant with dogs.

it can be done but you have to be honest with your expectations and your breeder. Training is so, so important whatever breed you get and must never be skimped on.

Good luck, I’m sure you’ll find your dog ♥️

They're not selling but rehoming where else are you going to get a pedigree dog for a few hundred pounds? Its up to a parent to ensure the safety of their children around dogs and any dog can develop resource guarding issues, not just rescue dogs and not just young dogs. Thw issue of reaource gaurding can be helped over time and with professional help but allowing other pets into the mix and unaupervised children ia a recipe for disaster and that's down to the owner not the rescue.

@Khayker the multiple law suits won against rescue centres that have re-homed dangerous dogs says otherwise, whether you like it or not.

And they do sell the dogs. Lots of rescue centres you have to pay to take the dog.

But we’re clearly not going to agree. I think it’s dangerously irresponsible to sell defective dogs to families with children, and you think it’s okay.

This will be my last post before I go back to my usual name.but I agree with landsharks. No good rescue sells dogs with behavioural issues to people with children. The parents have responsibility as well but the rescue selling dogs with those issues to people with young children are disgusting and its why I do not want a rescue. Resource guarding is awful and dogs that have that issue should never be rehomed with young children

Thanks to everyone for their help adn to those that recognised I do know spaniels but was just being silly about what age should work. Head well and truly wobbled.

It's not really why you don't want to rehome a dog. At least be honest about it.
Anyway, good rescue centres would not want you any more than your breeder would so no loss.

Not sure where you get your information from but all rescue centres charge a fee to rehome dogs, that's how they keep afloat financially. Fee is nominal but it does help keep rescuea going, they are generally charities and for the most part non profit Your interpretation of my response is incorrect and its not as black and white or simplistic as you've stated. Dogs can have complex needs and as I've said all dogs can develop resource guarding issues. Dogs, like people are complex, if you have one you need to deal with any issues. Also, dogs like people aren't categorised as defective or not defective. That's polarisung any issue and if resource guarding dogs weren't adopted out or owners didn't work with these issues, there would be far more dogs in rescue. You can't guarantee that a dog bought from a breeder won't develop resource guarding traits. Are you saying family pets they have had since puppies should be euthenised or put into rescue? I think many owners wouldn't agree with your black/white view. Also, post some links to the court cases you're referring to please.

Exactly. No good rescue rehomes dogs with behavioural issues to people with children.
But good rescues do rehome carefully assessed, well behaved dogs to families with children.

Is there any need for this?

Same poster as always being rude to posters, rather than having a reasonable debate.😁

Yes @CoubousAndTourmalet
If you can't work out why, then that's on you.

As for the breeder who is always alerting us to the danger of rehoming dogs, I wonder why that might be?
Not saying rescue centres don't make mistakes or always act in the interests of the dogs or the potential owners. Obviously they don't. But it's always the "big five" @LandSharksAnonymous quotes when she writes her scaremongering posts, even though she well knows, especially considering she has, or claims to have, a family member who fosters or has fostered for Spaniel Aid, there are much better rehoming centres out there.

Posting scare stories about rescue centres - not what I'd call reasonable debate.

Oh I can work out why @redboxer321 . I just don't see the relevance on this thread, which is about buying a purebred puppy from a reputable breeder. The OP had stated she had no interest in a rescue, so people should be respectful of that.

Just to add, I wasn't saying you should get a rescue. I was defending the good rescues that act responsibly.
I didn't want a rescue for my first dog, as I thought they all came with issues and a puppy wouldn't. Unfortunately, my puppy was attacked by several dogs and became fear reactive, which led to 13 years of stressful walks. He was, however, the perfect family dog and totally trustworthy with the children.

No, you think you can work out why @CoubousAndTourmalet
I never once tried to steer the OP down the rescue route. Never even suggested it. I am just a bit sick of the bullshit being spread on MN about dogs in rescue. That's all.

@redboxer321 i don’t foster for spaniel aid?

Lots of people don’t want to rehome dogs. I don’t. if the OP doesn’t, that’s her choice too.

I’ve had dogs all my life. I want a puppy from an excellent breeder, where they have bred for temperament and health, where I can meet the mother and littermates on multiple occasions. I want to know I’ve raised that puppy from 12 weeks old (I won’t use a breeder who homes before that age, personal preference and experience).

I’ve only ever had golden retrievers - I get sad when I see them up for adoption, but I would never adopt one as I don’t know what damage has been done to them.

Sounds like a good breeder, if only more where as responsible.

Personally, I agree with other PP’s on the breeder being responsible.

I don’t have young children, but elderly parents who I live with. I got an adult dog from a breeder as a puppy wouldn’t suit our situation. It’s been brilliant. Dog was very well socialised to animals, children too. It was a bit like a needle in a hay stack, but my efforts and patience paid off. I couldn’t go rescue as hoping to adopt in the coming years.

I also question your choice of breed though, especially with a 4yr old, sorry.

Keep looking, and keep an open mind, there’ll be something that suits your family out there.

This is a good breeder , leave it be his policy is his policy end of .
I have turned people away with children before after watching how they interact with not only the pups but my adults and how well the parents supervise the children when around the pups .
we put 8 weeks into raising these babies and ive read some absolute horror story's from fellow breeders So I don't blame him

We’ve been waiting 6 years!! That’s why we’ve recently got a puppy who is wonderful

We waited 3 years for our current pup.

First dog and you have decided on a cocker spaniel. Sorry but this is really a silly choice for someone with a 4 year old. It's hard enough to train a dog without a 4 year old in the mix and you can never supervise properly. It sounds like you just like the look of them and that's all. This is the wrong reasoning and makes me very concerned. What about 'cocker rage' this is a very real condition that needs to be thought about too. Please just leave it until your 4 year old is more responsible.