Breeder turned us down

[Sellingseashells]

Spoken to a breeder last night about pups due later this year. Was recommended by a friend.i though it was going well but breeder said no. Said he don’t sell to people with children. DC are 10 and 4. Dog savvy.

i know the breeder doesn’t have to sell to us, but I’m really upset. Is it worth trying again? What do I do?

My lab puppy went through a snappy phase with my then 9 yo, it was tricky to manage with a 9yo a 4yo would be even more of a challenge. Sounds like a wonderful breeder who really cares! I wonder if you could ensure some kind of agreement that the dog must only be returned to him and not passed along? Are they working cockers or show cockers?

^^ this. Despite you saying that you and your partner were brought up around cocker spaniels I bet that neither of you were responsible for training, exercising, doing everything necessary when you own a puppy or dog. It’s very different when you have to put a puppy first, being responsible for everything as well as the usual stuff you’re doing now.
Puppies are very hard work and I wouldn’t even consider getting one with a 4 year old child in the house.
A very wise breeder imo.

This is a good breeder. Come back to them when your children are older.

Do you know that cat n dog rescue centres are bursting at the seams!!!

A good breeder will have a rule that if for whatever reason the buyers can't continue with the puppy, the breeder takes it back. So they have to be very careful with selecting people. I imagine he's had dogs returned and doesn't want that to happen. I would never have a cooker spaniel. They are adorable but very very high energy and act out if they don't get physical and mental stimulation . Not a dog for a young family xx

If the issue is biting kids, and their temperament, I wouldn’t have thought all the yard or trainers would make a difference.

Rescue centres won't give a dog to a family with a 4 year old. Even the breeder here won't do it

I does sound like you’re very attached to having a particular breed more than having a dog that’s a suitable family pet

I can't comment on rehoming a dog but if it's anything like trying to rehome a cat the rescue centres are bursting at the seams because of their over the top requirements. In my experience (and I'm not the only one) rescues will only rehome to their idea of the perfect home.

Edited to add that I'm all for sensible rehoming but some of the reasons given are mad

This is where people need to consider their lifestyle. They fit with ours.

I find this really refreshing ,i work with dogs and even though we see lovely cockers we see equal amounts of biters .
If there were more breeders with the same attitude there wouldn't be so many dogs with issues.

In your situation, OP, I would recommend waiting a couple of years. It sounds like cocker spaniels are your thing, which is fine, but much better when the children are just a bit older.

Blimey this thread makes for a depressing read. So many people express negative opinions of cocker spaniels and most of them haven't owned one.
When we first looked into getting a dog many years ago, cocker spaniels were described as 'merry' and perfect family dogs as they were good with children.
Somehow over the last 20 years, they have morphed into biting, guarding, neurotic, hyper dogs to be avoided at all costs.
Unfortunately their popularity caused an increase in puppy farming and back yard breeders, which has led to half of the issues.
Cocker rage has been banded about for at least 20 years (it's always those pesky red ones that have it) but is in reality extremely rare. It's not a dog snapping at a child because they have poked him in the eye.
Energy wise - yes my workers run like nutters on a walk. But they spend the rest of the day sleeping, with the odd potter about the garden. None of them have needed constantly entertaining and haven't been destructive. Their walks are varied. Once or twice a day. Anything from an hour to three hours. This week I'm not well, so they have missed some walks and only had half an hour on other days. They're still sleeping when home. My friend has show cockers and hers are knackered after 45 minutes.
Personally I love spaniels and won't have anything else. I love a dog with personality and don't want a boring breed that will plod along by my side on a walk.
As long as you do your research and get a well bred one, then they make wonderful family dogs.
Also, I foster for a rescue and we do rehome to families with young children. But all of the dogs are placed in foster homes and assessed before being rehomed.

Ah that’s sweet, he sounds amazing.

I’m only basing my opinion based on my postman’s experience - he said the most aggressive dog he ever came across was a Dalmatian who used to rip curtains off the windows when he saw him come up the driveway. So, not really indicative of the breed, I’ll put my hand up there and admit it! Just something I’ve always kept in my mind re kids.

Border collies are definitely extremely intelligent, can be great pets (for the right people) and I’ve grown up around farmers and their working collies. I find that they can be nippy (they do so to herd, I believe) and far too intelligent and active for me and my lifestyle 😂 my partner’s family had a fab one, we’ve had to dissuade his mum from getting a border collie puppy again now that she is older and a less agile.

Growing up we have had 4 cocker spaniels though the years. Two of these were bad biters .The other two were placid.

Personally I love spaniels and won't have anything else. I love a dog with personality and don't want a boring breed that will plod along by my side on a walk.

A lovely woman stopped me yesterday to say with a grin, "I have one that looks just like that. And his lead walking looks just like that too..."

I'll draw a veil over what our lead walking looked like at that particular point.

He’s a good breeder.

I’ve only ever had golden retrievers, ever since I was a small child and then my own in adulthood. They are little land sharks as pups; you have to watch them like hawks around children and train/distract.

The breeder we have used for the last 2 won’t home to families under 5, unless he knows them and they are experienced with golden pups, who get very big and strong, very quickly. We had our last just over a year ago when youngest dd was a few months shy of 4, but he knows us and knows my long history of owning and living with the breed.

His reason for not homing with children under 5 is that most people think golden retrievers will take any amount of prodding and poking and provocation from children and will be fine, and that’s not the case with any animal.

I think your breeder is very sensible. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you.

A very sensible & good breeder.

TBF, cocker spaniels are crazy and occasionally they do bit. I got bit by a spaniel as a child (in the face) at a friends house. I wouldn’t say a spaniel is the ideal first dog, though they are lovely.

Spaniels are a very high energy breed. We got ours from a rescue centre (we don’t have young children). He was originally with a single mum of two young children and she couldn’t cope with a dog that has high energy and he didn’t get walked. He was ten months old when we got him and was very challenging. Luckily, we had the time and energy to cope with his needs. He’s still lively when he’s outside but is chilled and laid back in the home. He still has resource guarding issues (spaniels are well known for it) and doesn’t like sharing with other dogs so can’t be left at doggy daycare. You would be better off finding a quiet natured little mongrel that can grow with the children. There are lots of unscrupulous breeders out there who don’t care who they place their pups with so it’s good to hear of a responsible one. Rescue centres are also very good at finding you the right dog and will let you all as a family spend time with them at the centre before you make a decision. Remember, that a dog is for life so please take time to make the right decision. Dogs cannot be left alone for long periods and cannot be expected to just fit in with the lives of busy families.

He's probably had other puppies returned because of biting and has instigated a blanket ban to negate the issue. Other breeds might suit you better – can highly recommend Golden Retrievers as a great family dog. Needs lots of exercise but aren't a bitey breed as a rule, although they are called land sharks as puppies for a reason!

I think if you have very young children you need to consider if your preferred breed is a good fit.

For those defending cockers, no one is saying that it’s impossible with young children, just that it has greater potential to go very wrong,

For that reason, cockers aren’t a brilliant choice for a 4 yr old. It might be fine - but there’s a good chance that it might not. And that’s not fair on the dog.

I have autistic DC and we noticed that DS (who was non-verbal at the time) responded well to the school’s pet dog. We did a TON of research and landed on one of the new types of so-called “designer breeds”, a Zuchon, which in proper dog language is a Bichon and Shih Tzu cross. The breed is often used as a companion dog for disabled people and is known as a “teddy bear” dog because they’re cuddly and so relaxed and calm with their owners.

Ours is now 11. My DM got his litter mate. They’re both such lovely dogs and brilliantly calm with kids. They also don’t moult so that’s a plus 😂 They don’t mind shorter walks if you’re pushed for time and are just happy to hang out with you.

This wouldn’t have been my first breed choice but we picked it with the DC in mind. I would 100% get another one again.

To be honest if she believes cockers bite children often maybe the linage of her dogs is a bit agressive ? Walk away and find a breeder that is confident enough to know his dogs are safe around children . This was not the dog for you . Good luck

Mine are very rarely on lead fortunately. 🙈 Let's just say their lead work at the beginning of a walk is very different to at the end of it. 😂

I know some families with young children and working cocker spaniels who all rub along together wonderfully. They’re the type that also have ponies, breed pups etc.