new job ... do i need to rehome my dog?

[dogdayblues]

i'm in a quandary - and would really welcome some perspective on what to do. (have namechanged for this.)

we've had our rescue dog for 3.5 years. he's great - easygoing, well behaved etc. but for almost the whole time we've had him (me and two teenage DDs, no partner), i've worked from home. so have always been here to walk him. i worked away for 2 days a week at the start, but paid for him to have overnight care during that time, which was essential, but obviously expensive.

i've been applying for jobs for all that time - working from home as a freelance was never what i really wanted to do. i've just got a job for 3 days a week, which might expand out into more, and will almost certainly require evening events.

i honestly don't know how i can manage - financially or logistically - going out to work again and caring for the dog. i can't expect the DDs to take on responsibility for him - they need to prioritise school work and their own activities, plus the eldest will be away to uni after the summer. and i'm honestly not earning enough to pay for a dogwalker 3 days a week.

i keep thinking i just need to bite the bullet and rehome him, which is heartbreaking, but then feel so awful for him and all of us.

thoughts welcome.

@Iheartmysmart yes, a beautiful idea - and my dog would be perfect for that. he's a great daytime companion and a lovely reason for a lunchtime walk! i am sorry for your recent loss.💐

Also, a dog who has had company for a long time (and would still have you four out of seven days a week) may actually be more confident alone than you think, because he will feel secure and confident in your house already

Absolutely agree with this. After having many, many rescue dogs over the years (some from more horrific beginnings than others), you can definitely see their personalities and confidence change and a four hour trip to the theatre would have been unthinkable for my current velcro dog when he first arrived but is now simply an opportunity for an extended snooze by the Aga for him. Admittedly a bit different to going to work for the day, but you catch my drift.

I, sort of, did this after losing our last dog in 2021. We'd had so many, and lost so many, by then that I just felt I couldn't go through it again, but I missed having a dog. So I basically became the default second home for six different friend's dogs, be it a short holiday (although we had one for 2 months!) or just an evening out, until this year when we all felt ready for another dog of our own. Worked well all round.

@Ottersmith i had a job near enough to home for me to walk him at lunchtimes when we first got him; then that changed (through no fault of my own) and I made arrangements for him to be cared for; also, when we got him i had a partner (he left; that's a whole different story), so yes my circumstances have changed. i need to work - obviously! - and my choices for work are limited; it does feel a little back-to-front to give up the chance of a job that's important and necessary to me and my children for a dog.

it is really difficult; as i've said i honestly don't want to make a bad decision for anyone.

You are your dog's family. There's no way to rehome him without causing significant distress (plus there's no guarantee he'd get a home where he had people around all the time anyway, or even that are kind to him).

Dog walkers, Borrow my doggy, neighbours who don't want the tie of their own dog, even seeing how he does in the house alone are all better options than rehoming him.

Op I think you’re beyond overthinking this as people do thinking that things will be unworkable when they work outside the home- with your kids dropping in on the dog, plus some walking plus you looking after them on the 4 days of the week you’re not working isn’t that huge a deal- plus you’d easily find someone local that doesn’t charge extortionate amounts. Op people talk a lot about how easy it is to rehome, in reality your dog will be seen as a dog that has already had two homes and could wait a long time to find a new one. He’s part of your family

I gess it's down to finances and time what you do.

I had to go back to FT work 2 years ago with 3 dogs.

I'm out of the house 7am - 4:30pm.
I get up just after 5:30 so I can give the dogs a good run before work. I have someone coming in at lunchtime to let them out into the garden.

When I get home from work, I'll thake them out again... plus training class 3x a week in the evening.
Its not perfect, but they have each other so not completely alone. For me It's tiring, especially in the winter months, but I wouldn't want to be without them.

Having dogs is a lifestyle choice. Even if your younger DD did step up, how long before she's off to university or similar?
A dog walker can be great but you also have to consider the cost, reliability and if your dog is happy walking / playing with other dogs

Dogs are simple creatures that thrive on routine, so early morning walk - dog walker and evening walk could work if doggo is happy by himself. But be also realistic about how much you are able to take on.

@businessflop25 there is one dog, not two.

i am not sure my job quite counts as a 'want' - it is necessary to look after me and my children; i need to work in order to provide for them (and, at the moment to provide for the dog too).

i am sorry to make you angry; i don't think i am being selfish or uncaring here - there are lots of different priorities to try and balance; one of them being my financial situation and my ability to support my children.

How long will the dog be alone for? I'd be less concerned about the walks (no dog ever died due to a shorter walk or missing a day or two) but him being alone is the bigger issue. If your dc are home and can let him out that's what he needs.

If it's going to be up to 5 hours a day that should be fine, especially at the age he is. Would it be 5 days a week, sorry I was a bit confused reading your op

I've made it rule to ignore any posts with more than two exclamation marks, OP, works well for me. Tends to be a certain type of poster, the ones who can't read and comprehend, by the looks of it. 😉

You have had some great advice and I wish you the best in finding the right solution.

But I have to say, I am gobsmacked. After 3.5 years our dog was very firmly a family member (she was that much earlier of course) and it would not cross my mind to rehome her. It just wouldn't be an option anyone in our household would comprehend, like giving away a child.

do you have any relatives who would take him on?

@JustWalkingTheDogs in terms of how long he'd be left for - i will be out of the house from 8 till 6. one dd could come and see him after school (sometimes, depending on her sports and other clubs).

i just saw his dogsitter / walker but couldn't in the end have a proper chat with him about it as he needed to head off straight away. i feel very conflicted. the new job is a significant change for me; i've not found the freelance life easy (though it has its benefits) and am determined to make the most of it (and will be very glad of it).

yes, i am undoubtedly overthinking, and yes he is part of the family. he's asleep on the rug next to me right now. some of this is very much a matter of resources - financial and the number of adults available (i.e. one). there isn't a simple formula, i don't think.

If you genuinely feel it's the best thing for your dog then that's what you should do.

If u want a solution I would sit down with your children and look for one. Say day 1 you come home at lunch to let dog out and dd 2 walks him after school. day 2 your elder dd comes home and lets her out and you walk her after work and day 3 you pay a dog walker. Or similar, then see how it goes

@BigLooser i understand and appreciate what you are saying. i do love him and care for him, as i've said, constantly for the time that he's been here. it's very difficult to imagine life without him, but i also find it difficult to comprehend the reality (including the financial reality) of navigating my work around him. i know people do that all the time, and if i was, frankly, wealthier, it would be easier, because paying for care wouldn't have such an impact on my budget.

and i really apprecaite everyone's advice, thoughts and perspectives. i don't want to get this wrong.

@HelenWheels no, unfortunately not.

I've had my dog for three years and could never ever send her back to the shelter. I also wouldn't want to send a message to kids that getting rid of a dog when circumstances don't suit is ok. I think at 6 or 7 your dog could have a much more difficult time finding a new home than you are imagining, it is hard at that age to find dogs a new home even if they are an unwanted "cutie pie".

Can you not pay the teenagers something for walking the dog? Less than you would have to pay a professional dog walker so you win, and they get some extra £. How do they feel about rehoming? If they are against it they might be willing to help.

What an unhelpful post.

I think you should see how it goes with the new job rather than jumping the gun.

Yes, it's obviously less ideal for the dog to be alone 3 days a week but if you can get the dog walker to come in for a couple of them, plus making sure he gets a walk before you leave for work plus what your DDs can manage I don't think it's a bad situation.

What if the new job doesn't work out and you've rehomed the dog already? That would be devastating.

It's good that you're giving all this serious thought in terms of what's best for the dog, I have no doubt you'll come to a good solution.

that’s what borrowmydoggy does

@eurochick i could, but they wouldn't be able to do it until after school, so i'm not sure that would help.

@onzexplainsitall i am thinking about what messages i am sending to the children; neither of them have stepped up thus far in terms of helping to take practical care of the dog. it might be that the reality of possibly rehoming him would make a difference, but their lives aren't necessarily any more suited to looking after him during the day than mine will be.

i'm honestly not trying to counter people's sensible, practical suggestions - but lots of these options are ones i've considered (and in the case of the DDs tried to implement before).

obviously people manage - and thrive - with FT work, children and dogs, so i can't help but think i'm maybe being ridiculous. but i'm also really fearful of making a mess of this new job, trashing my family financially and tying my younger DD into an unrealistic responsibility.

I also have a rescue dog. Got him when he was just 1 and he is 10 now. There is absolutely no way I would send him back to the shelter. I'd rather take on extra work to pay for adequate care.

A 7 year old dog will not be what most people would consider adopting so he would probably be there for a long time. I think when you make the decision to take on a rescue dog and they settle into your family you really need to be there for that dog until the end, anything else feels very cruel and cold hearted. I get that you need to work but I can guarantee you that your dog will be happier and more comfortabel in the home that he knows for 3 days a week with a midday walk than in a shelter with bare and hard floors and dogs barking around him all day and night.

Have you checked out Rover @dogdayblues
I used to work with someone who was a sitter for them and it seemed to work well - might be worth investigating?

He's already been through other homes and ended up at dogs trust .
There's 3 of you and a dog walker .
Come up with a rota with dog walker girls and yourself.
You could walk him before work
Plenty of people have to do a 5 am walk .
And walk him when you get home
Dog walker at lunchtime
Girls step up as well
.I think your looking for excuses to re-home him.
He's your responsibility,you owe it to him to make it work ,he's part of your family