AIBU to rehome my dog

[Soupysally]

I’ve had my cocker spaniel since she was a puppy in 2019 and previously was my world. In 2023 I fell pregnant and became a single mum to my DS in 2024.
since then I’ve been really struggling with my dog, I get frustrated really easily at her, and she’s not getting the attention she deserves in the house. On top of that I have returned to work including an hour commute each way which is hard to fit in my work hours around childcare, but essentially leave no time to walk the dog, and I can’t just take her out in the evenings as I have my DS in bed. I have no family who can help out locally, and money is too tight to be paying for a dog walker several times a week.
I feel so guilty, overwhelmed and a failure considering rehoming her, but I am starting to believe it’s what’s best for everyone. I of course would look to rehome her through a reputable charity such as spaniel aid. Am I being unreasonable?

Sorry I’m new to mumsnet, how do I change it?

No, he couldn’t. And thanks I’ll report it

No it’s fine to rehome a dog if you do it the right way through proper channels as it sounds like you will be.

shell have a better life somewhere else by the sounds of it. These things happen, don’t be too hard on yourself!

I second getting the thread moved or else get ready for your inevitable crucifixion.

Godspeed 🙏

Spaniels are typically high energy dogs so yes, if you cannot give the dog the time she deserves, and are getting frustrated with her, then best to rehome her so that she can have a home where she is loved and cared for. Very sad for the dog though because you are probably her world too.

Of course you're not unreasonable to rehome a pleasant family dog that will easily find a new family. Make sure you get help from a local charity, ask them if they have any demand at the moment. Definitely don't try and find someone yourself online.

Usually these threads are about miserable, aggressive dogs, probably in pain, who've bitten several people. Rehoming is not a sensible option in those cases.

What are you doing at the moment for dog care?
Could you try borrow my doggy for days you are working?

If you genuinely can't afford dog walker/doggy day care then it sounds like you don't have a choice but to rehome her...she can't be stuck at home all day with no interaction or walks, that's no life for her.

Thanks everyone, yes she is such a pleasant dog, she’s got not history of aggressive behaviour and or medical difficulties, I just don’t have the time to give her what she deserves anymore and that’s totally not her fault. I feel awful, I never predicted my life would be in the situation where I couldn’t give her what she needs when I got her.

You think the dog house will be any gentler??

OP YANBU to rehome the poor dog because you aren't looking after him properly but it's an awful thing to do to a dog and you should never get a dog again. It's just not ok to get an animal without being as sure as you can be that you can always care for them no matter if your circumstances change.

Life long dog lover here. No criticism from me. Try Spaniel Rescue as Spaniels are high energy dogs and anyone adopting one from a breed specific rescue will know what they are taking on.
We were lucky in that at the time, in a similar situation, I could afford a dog walker but they cost squillions. Look after your dog by finding them a new family to love.

You're not being unreasonable to rehome your little dog, OP.

It sounds like the right thing to do.

Please don't get any more pets.

I agree! I love borrow my doggy. it’s a great option for walking. Think it’s £48 a year. Well worth considering

We’ve found a borrower. Our dog goes when we’re away and sometimes we get a text asking if he can go and stay, or if they can take him for a walk. We’re going to meet their new puppy tomorrow and the still want to borrow ours too

No I won’t be getting any more pets in future. Both from the guilt and knowing that I can’t care for one appropriately with my life now.

Yes it's fine to rehome your dog to a reputable rescue who will find them a new home. The dog sounds rehomable. There is no shame in coming to the decision that your circumstances are different now and you can't give your dog the attention they need. Good rescues will not judge you for this

If you can afford it, please consider a small donation to help with the cost of caring for your dog if you can when you give them up, it will be most appreciated. If you can't afford it don't worry.

Poor dog

Sympathy from me, life can change unpredictably. No one can totally predict the future, no matter how much planning you do.
Life can change beyond anything we can control.

You are facing up to this, and will be doing the best for your dog.
Good luck to you and to your dog, in her new life.

That sounds like a really difficult situation. Can you afford to get a dog walker? If not now do you foresee your financial situation getting better in the short- medium term so that you could afford this. Have you tried borrow my doggy?

Ultimately your dog deserves to be cared for appropriately and if you're not the best person to do it then it's in its best interest to find someone who can provide what it needs.

It's far better for the dog to be re-homed than to live in a home that can't meet its' needs.