Rehoming our dog and telling children

[Littlesadstate90]

I’ve posted many times on here about struggles with our dog
a 1 year old labrador.

shes a good girl and I love her but I just find owning a dog far too stressful.

the mess, the smell, the hair. Myself and husband argue over the dog a lot, who’s going to walk her, he feels all I do is moan about her.

being restricted to how long we can be out the house so she isn’t on her own for too long……

im just not cut out for it. I know a lot will say didn’t you think about these things before you got the dog….and yes I did. I thought I would cope.

anyway I want to rehome her, my life and my marriage will be much easier without her as sad as that is to say.
my husband doesn’t really want to but is in agreement with me if I really want to.

my problem is the children. 7 year old and 5 year old. They would (the eldest in particular) would be absolutely heartbroken. And if I’m honest he is the only reason I haven’t re homed the dog sooner.

any advice of how to approach this with the children would be great.

thank you

It is wanted and cared for by the husband and children , this is not an unloved dog . Why should the OPs feelings trump everyone else in the house .

Good job she is not struggling with the children as she would have to spend the rest of her life being miserable because she made a mistake.

Children are, on the whole, much much harder work than dogs

Because according to her other thread, her husband isn't stepping up and doing his share of the work.

It's not about the OP's feelings "trumping everyone else", it's about the bulk of the care being left to her and her not being able to cope with it.

So instead of asking why OP trumps everyone else, I'd actually ask why you think OP should be miserable for the next 10-15 years when the other adult in the home isn't stepping up and doing as he agreed.

Children aren't dogs.

But in any case, lots of people do hate being parents and do spend many years being absolutely miserable. The difference is, you can re-home a dog.

That sounds very stressful for the dog. There are games you can play to help them with hyper attachment as it’s not a good place for the dog to be. A lot of dogs need this my own included as a pup.

I went to work this morning and left my dog with my OH and she gave me half a glance from the back of the sofa as I went out. Lunch time I picked her up for a training class where she worked like a dream for me and her tail didn’t stop wagging. Dropped her home, had a play then left her to sleep all afternoon. I don’t want my dog pining for me when I’m not there. I want her to learn slowly that we’ll be back. Your dog sounds like it needs some help with hyper attachment. I like my dog to want to spend time with me but not be so worried when I’m not around that they are that stressed.

But plenty of people will have had pets put down or rehomed and aren't still silently seething about it as adults. My dad drowned our kittens when I was a kid. I was furious and thought he was a monster for about a week, then I got over it. As an adult I don't blame him at all. Don't regularly think about it, memory was rekindled by reading this thread.

A lot of those animals were re-homed without a proper explanation or with the children being flat-out lied to, though.

Sometimes adults have to make really horrible, difficult decisions that children are too young to comprehend properly.

Drowned kittens and you don’t think he’s a monster? I do.

My Dad would never be that cruel to a sentient animal. It’s a hideous thing to do and I’d definitely remember that from childhood.

I think some children are more sensitive than others, I know I would’ve been deeply upset and remembered something like a pet being rehomed forever.

🤷 He had no other way to get rid of them. Well, I guess he could have hit them over the head with something, but presumably he couldn't bring himself to do that. He loves animals and is a very kind man. I have no doubt it weighs on him more than it does on me.

You both need to take responsibility and share the load. You would t rehome a child so don't be so horrible. She is part of your family. Make the time to give her a run off lead every morning. You will find she is much better behaved and a lot calmer. Same In the evening. Exercise is the key. The kids will benefit from this. It's all about priorities. Your kids won't forgive you

My husband is 57 and he still talks about the dog he had for a short while as a child, that his mum rehomed because she’s house proud and didn't like the hair. He loves his mum dearly but…

@Littlesadstate90 I can remember your previous thread abd it does t sound S though any of you are happy right now, including the DDog.

We adopted an our DDog through a breed specific rescue and yes, I don't lie, she was traumatised but she soon settled in and two years on is living her best life. Rehoming isn't always a terrible option and got our DDog it was a good move as her previous owner was upset but could no longer provide the care and time for her that she needed.

I really would recommend using a breed specific rescue though, as they will be able to understand what your DDog needs and match her up with a suitable home

OP is already taking responsibility and doing the vast majority of the work.

I'd love to know how she's supposed to make her DH step up.

I’m not stupid - we are aware of that and of course I don’t want her to be this way forever, she’s still very young (GRs are notoriously slow to mature) and a work in progress. We have been working with an ex guide dog puppy trainer who specialises in retrievers, it’s not unusual at all for the breed and it’s simply in their nature to be clingy. Like children, some more so than others of course - she is our fourth and the only one that we’ve really had any issues with. Progress doesn’t happen overnight, I can assure you that she has behaviourist involvement, every mentally stimulating activity under the sun, varied and plentiful walks but ultimately it is going to take time for her to learn, settle and mature.

@fieldsofbutterflies not all of us stalk through other threads by the OP , and she doesn’t mention on this thread that the husband does nothing . Perhaps she should get rid of the husband and keep the dog .

Why did he need to get rid of them and, even if he did, why was there no alternative to drowning them. Why not find homes for them?

Someone who can drown a kitten really does not love animals. I would be disgusted if that were my dad

He could have taken them to a vet or even dumped them outside a vets / RSPCA . No ‘ kind man ‘ who loves animals could drown kittens .

@QuantumPanic You are literally talking about a crime - animal abuse. And your're minimising it and defending him? He drowned poor defenceless animals.

I’ll correct that for you - anyone who drowns kittens is a monster. Absolute psychopath behaviour. Nobody right in the head needs to ‘get rid’ of kittens so desperately that they force them to die a slow, painful death. I can’t believe that you’re openly admitting that your own father abused animals and are trying to defend him.

He loves animals and is a very kind man?! 🤣 #delulu

Tell them You can’t be bothered with the dog and are getting rid and then watch their hearts break - there are no other options with this. You are being entirely selfish - 3 people
in your home love that dog and it is you who want rid of her. Saddest thing I’ve read on here in a while.

I mean, she mentioned her other threads in her OP - it's hardly stalking to go back and read them for context.

How would getting rid of the husband help? She'd then have full responsibility for the dog which she's already struggling with as it is

Actually I think the human beings' needs come first. If rehoming is so terrible, why are there so many organisations dedicated to doing precisely that? Can't believe the amount of sentimental claptrap being trotted out here.

Tell them the dog got run over and bury a carton of ashes from the woodburner in the garden with suitable ceremony.

Nope, sorry. The OP chose to get the dog and will subsequently have to deal with the feelings of those they upset by getting rid of it. If you read my post I said the dog should be rehomed. It deserves a family who actually want it.