Rehoming our dog and telling children

[Littlesadstate90]

I’ve posted many times on here about struggles with our dog
a 1 year old labrador.

shes a good girl and I love her but I just find owning a dog far too stressful.

the mess, the smell, the hair. Myself and husband argue over the dog a lot, who’s going to walk her, he feels all I do is moan about her.

being restricted to how long we can be out the house so she isn’t on her own for too long……

im just not cut out for it. I know a lot will say didn’t you think about these things before you got the dog….and yes I did. I thought I would cope.

anyway I want to rehome her, my life and my marriage will be much easier without her as sad as that is to say.
my husband doesn’t really want to but is in agreement with me if I really want to.

my problem is the children. 7 year old and 5 year old. They would (the eldest in particular) would be absolutely heartbroken. And if I’m honest he is the only reason I haven’t re homed the dog sooner.

any advice of how to approach this with the children would be great.

thank you

I'm in Hampshire, but I do go anywhere and have a regular visit to Enfield. PM me and I'll send you my details 👍

Or I can PM you?

Hi. I havent read through all the replies but I posted here 3 maybe 4 years ago. My two girls had turned on eachother at 3 years old. The sweeter dog who was so close to my son who was 7 at the time was the one i chose to re-home. He was heartbroken and my sister had suggested rehoming her without telling him. I didn't. It was so painful but I told him he met the new owners (I knew the lady from years ago baby group with our older children) we talked and talked. I did ask my son months later how he would have felt if I had re-homed her and not told him. He said it would have been worse. I think you have to let them say goodbye (I used the bog baby story book and said real love is doing what's best) our rehoming process took a few weeks. As our dog would visit the family first so we were all sure. We even have bumped into her a few times which is lovely

Did the person who gave you the puppy clear it with your mum first? I doubt you would have been taking on all the work that goes with a puppy when you were seven and at school.

Most of the comments are very ignorant on here, it’s likely in the dogs best interest to go to a home where it will be wanted.

Im in a similar situation with a dog we got from Pet4Homes back in the pandemic (1.5yo when we got her)… I hadn’t grown up with a dog as a child so I thought I knew what to expect through research etc but the reality was much difference and I have hated it since! Don’t get me wrong I love the dog, but everything else that comes with owning a dog I’m really struggling with.

We now have a 6 month old and it’s a struggle to put her on the floor (dog is quite big and clumsy so it’s a worry) we’ve had a lot of help from family members with walking her whilst I’m not able to get out with her as much but ultimately owning a dog is making me miserable. BUT she’s been with us for too long now to rehome her…

I would suggest if you’re thinking of rehoming her to do it sooner rather than later, my dog settled in well with us and honestly is very happy so they do adapt quickly to a new environment.

Hello. I'm literally in the same position you were in. Dying to know what happened in the end. Did you give the dog away? Is everyone happier? Did your children forgive you and get over it?

@ThatHazelHare wow how unpleasant

Would you re home one of your children if they were inconvenient?
When you got the dog, you committed to caring for it for 15+ years

ZOMBIE THREAD

Maybe instead of having your first response try to be rehome, consider what you’re doing wrong.

OP had an adolescent Labrador and gave it one walk a day. That’s barely going to do anything to a dog that age of that breed. But instead of taking advice, she stropped off.

Perhaps start your own thread and let posters help advise on what might be the issue (usually boils down to children tormenting dogs or under exercise in most cases tbh) ?

I know what we're doing wrong. Everything. That's why I want to rehome. We don't give her enough attention or walk her enough. She's destroyed our house and garden and brings mud indoors everyday. I'm tired of cleaning up after her while looking after a toddler and child and working as well. We go away a lot and boarding costs at exorbitant. She doesn't fit our lifestyle. We just got the wrong breed. She hyperactive... a bit crazy. I'm the only one that looks after her and I didn't want a puppy in the 1st place. I said we should get an older, trained dog, but was overruled. It's only mom guilt that's kept her with is this long. She's cute and loving and I'll miss her, but in the bigger scheme of things, life would be easier without her.

The fact that you recognise that the family are not meeting the needs of the dog is a good start. How old is your pup? You would probably be very surprised about how many small adjustments you can make to facilitate a better relationship with the dog.

Puppies are full on though, I have fostered an 11 month old rescue spaniel unexpectedly, and I am so pleased I got an adult rescue a while ago and not a puppy.

I agree with PP though, it might be worth starting your own thread. You will get tons of shit comments, but there will be some nuggets in there too.

Trouble is people like you comparing a child to a dog this thought process is madness
It's not a child it's a animal

To the op re-home don't live the next 20 years in misery your mental health will suffer.

i think you will end up with two very upsetting and angry children plus a resentful husband so no it wont be better.
the dog is still only a puppy.
as suggested get a robot hoover so thats one less job for you to do
think about training classes
dog walker but to be honest if you do it as a family you will find it very enjoyable
set up rota for feeding walking etc so you have not constant rows over jobs the kids will enjoy feeding etc its good they get to know what it involves looking after a dog

hi, i came across your post as i'm going thru a similar situation & was looking for some advice. did you end up rehoming the dog? if so, how did the kids handle it / what did you tell them? we have had our husky puppy for 6 months, she's 9 mo. my partner is a huge dog person, i am the complete opposite. i don't like anything about them. he had been telling me he was going to get a puppy soon whether i liked it or not. to try to appease him, i took it upon myself & decided if he was getting a dog regardless i at least wanted some say in the breed. my mom had a husky when i was in high school so that was what i said i would agree to & found one for sale. i am a stay at home mom, our children are 2 & 3. he works 6 days a week 10-12 hr days so all of the care of the kids, the house, & the dog is on me. now 6 months in, nobody enjoys the dog. my partner doesn't want her, i don't want her, even our 3 yo says she doesn't want a dog anymore she just wants our cat (and no we do not have discussions about not wanting the dog in front of her) like you said, i thought i would be able to handle it but with 2 small children mostly on my own i am also not cut out for it. the dog does not listen, still has many accidents in the house, runs away, takes food from the kids, & ends up spending most of the day in her crate. my stress level is thru the roof. and none of it is fair to the dog who deserves a family that has more time & dedication to give her. truthfully, none of us feel a connection to the dog & i don't have the energy to try to give it to her. especially considering i do not like dogs as it is. a young couple is interested in her & will be picking her up this evening. this just happened within the last 2 days so it moved very quickly. they will be picking her up while i am at gymnastics with our 3yo so we won't be here when it happens. i don't think she will be horribly upset considering she makes comments regularly about not liking or wanting the dog, but i do think she will be confused why the dog isn't here when we return. if you did decide to rehome, how did you discuss with your kids? like i said mine are younger, only 2 & 3, but i was thinking my best approach would be to tell her that the dog needs a family that has more time for her & will take her on walks & love her & give her the life she needs that we can't do right now. any thoughts or suggestions are welcome. except from those of you that have anything negative to say, don't waste your time typing because i will literally roll my eyes at it. if u think our "obligation & lifelong commitment" to the dog is more important than the dog being happy & living her best life then i don't think u rlly value or care about dogs as much as you think / say you do.

Good point actually; if not exercised enough then the dog will cause more issues. Nothing better for me than seeing a knackered dog after a good walk ❤They sleep and behave better then too.

Its quite a thing to do. Get rid of the family dog. The sort of thing that a child doesn't forget ever.

I think you should keep the commitment you made. The dog will get easier.