Rehoming our dog and telling children

[Littlesadstate90]

I’ve posted many times on here about struggles with our dog
a 1 year old labrador.

shes a good girl and I love her but I just find owning a dog far too stressful.

the mess, the smell, the hair. Myself and husband argue over the dog a lot, who’s going to walk her, he feels all I do is moan about her.

being restricted to how long we can be out the house so she isn’t on her own for too long……

im just not cut out for it. I know a lot will say didn’t you think about these things before you got the dog….and yes I did. I thought I would cope.

anyway I want to rehome her, my life and my marriage will be much easier without her as sad as that is to say.
my husband doesn’t really want to but is in agreement with me if I really want to.

my problem is the children. 7 year old and 5 year old. They would (the eldest in particular) would be absolutely heartbroken. And if I’m honest he is the only reason I haven’t re homed the dog sooner.

any advice of how to approach this with the children would be great.

thank you

@Littlesadstate90 for what it's worth, I adopted a labrador just over a year ago when he was just about 2 years old. He was a total nightmare. He had had no training, was all over the furniture, barked at the door, pulled like a train on the lead and completely ignored me.

Today, he is a different dog. Walks beside me loose lead, stops when I stop, does not jump, and his recall is excellent. He is the biggest advert for my business as many of the local people who have watched the transition have asked me to help with their dogs.

The point is that I feel your pain. I have only ever had old rescue dogs previously, so a ball of energy like this was challenging to say the least. I wondered if I had done the right thing too, as did my wife.

Photo for tax.

@HappiestSleeping he is gorgeous x

'Im fed up of vacuuming' isn't going to cut it.

your children and your husband want to keep the dog and you want to rehome it so it’s getting rehomed? Why is it just up to you? Dogs are hard work but they do get easier. My lab is almost 4 now and although a little reactive at times with other boisterous dogs on walks (due to health issues), she is such a calm, loving and gentle dog. Amazing with people and children. She’s a family member. I don’t think you’ve given it long enough- your lab is still a pup.

also- robot hoover a must

@Lucyintheskywithrubes thank you so much for the flowers. Very lovely of you.

Your dear dog sounds like one happy, lucky, adored girl. I want to say I hope you enjoy every precious moment with her, but it's obvious from your post that you do.

@Churchview here she is - she has a lovely life now with us and we adore her ❤️

Please don't rehome your dog. That would be absolutely devastating for it - to grow up with your family as a puppy and then to be chucked away. They do understand these things...

I hadn't really thought about this in my first post but it's so true ☹️ that family is all the dog has ever known from its first memories as a small puppy. I can't even imagine how confusing and sad that would be for the dog.

Op, you must do what’s best for you and your family. Dog ownership clearly isn’t for you at this moment and there’s no need to martyr yourself because if the responses here. Your dog will soon love its new owners. Talk to your children and explain that it’s not working. Of course they’ll be upset but will very likely get over it in time.

btw, I had a similar situation as a child. My mother had to give our dog to a neighbour who was a true dog lover. I was also fine.

You will regret it. Maybe not initially but long term.

She is at such a difficult age and it gets so much easier. No you can't leave them for hours on end but you can leave them a good half a day when they grow up and settle down and there are options if you want a day out.

Give it time. If you still feel the same was in a year then you've not lost anything.

I am a trainer and knew fully what I was getting into but it wasn't until 18 months until I started to like my dog. We still have to nail the alone training and her settling when we go out rather than just waiting but we will in time.

OP's dog almost certainly isn't going to a neighbour where the children can play with it. The dc aren't going to see it again

Not the same at all

Unless there are serious problems, you don't just discard an animal so frivolously

Would you rehome your kids if they were "too difficult" or "harder than you thought they would be"???

Genuinely cannot stand people who treat dogs like some sort of disposal object to just sell on.

Just FYI - and as others have said - you are this poor little dogs' FAMILY.

OH @Lucyintheskywithrubes , she's completely gorgeous. I can see why you're devoted to her. So perfect I can't believe she'd ever create havoc at a BBQ 😃

Dog lovers accept that they cant have a spotless hair free home and doggy! I nearly wet myself laughing, at the title of a magazine" How to have a designer home and dog!" The two do not go together! Chill a little and in a year or so you will have a lovely lab!

Well obviously, I hope the OP has more sense than to word it like that.

Just to say your dog will adapt to a new family with no issues. I know many many dogs rehomed at various life stages and they all cope. I have had several myself. So that's not really a consideration. It's more of a human impact. I'm another whose parents (well, mum) decided the dog had to go (twice!) as a child and it's something that never leaves you.

Well obviously, I hope the OP has more sense than to word it like that.

I can't think how else it can be worded

' I don't want to hoover'
'I don't have time for walks'
'I don't like leaving the dog in the house'

None are going down well. Maybe the old farm trick would be better

I know dog owners who have immaculate homes but quite honestly I'd rather have fun and train my dog than clean, as would my husband so we are in the clean enough camp (I also have an elderly cat who throws up a lot and is quite high maintenance)

Think very carefully . When I was seven I was given a puppy and then 3mths later my mum rehomed him whilst I was at school . I've never forgiven her , you just don't do that to a child .

Can I please say to anyone worried that a dog would be unhappy in a new home, do not let it stop you making the right choice for your dog.

When our little dog came to us aged two she settled in so quickly. In 48 hours she was sprawled on the sofa with us, (having won over my 'I don't think the dog should be allowed on the furniture' husband within an hour) and happily pottering around in her new routine utterly content with her toys, comfy basket in front of the fire, food, treats, walks, garden and life in general.

Dogs are very adaptable and love is love wherever they find it.

I have 3 dogs and I've always struggled the first year of all of them.

My youngest pup has just turned 14 months and it's all just settling down

I listed her on Gumtree once in a moment of absolute desperation when I just couldn't handle the poo and pee anymore (she was very hard to toilet train and the smell of her accidents made the older 2 dogs regress into toileting inside too. I was waking up to piss and poo every morning for 3 dogs)

But we got through it and everything's a bit calmer now.

Labs can be crazy for a few years as pups :(

I'm actually torn on this because on one hand, I would never in a million years give up my dogs (or any pet!) for any reason whatsoever. Especially not for the reasons mentioned by OP (too much hair and mess - fuck me how bloody heartless can you get).

But on the other hand I think that OPs dog may actually be better off in a home where they can accept her for being a puppy, love and play with her and give her the life she deserves rather than being resented.

FWIW OP - we took our two dogs out yesterday morning (both large, high energy, working breeds) along with MILs dog (who we were looking after). They all had the time of their life running through fields, puddles, streams, woodlands. Came back stinking and filthy so all had a hose down in the garden then went inside where they proceeded to shake off their wet coats, got muddy paw prints everywhere and generally just ruin my once immaculate kitchen! They are dogs. That is what they do. And why on earth did you not get a smaller, lower maintenance dog rather than a Labrador???

Op rehome the dog, don't listen to guilt trippers who are weird and humanise dogs. Dogs only care about food and they don't care who gives them that food. It's not a family member it's a pet and it'll be someone else's pet and the dog won't give you's a second thought.

I can’t tell if “fluffypooch” is taking the mick
here or not?

I couldn't stand "the mess, the smell, the hair" that a dog entails. Which is why we don't have a dog.

Maybe rehome the kids at the same time as the dog so you don't have to face them getting upset?