Heartache after saying goodbye-support thread 2

[Helplessandheartbroke]

Second support thread for fellow MNers suffering the loss of a fury friend. I lost my boy in December and I'm truly heartbroken 💔

awe @Helplessandheartbroke I know the feeling. DDog's had surgery earlier this year meant he had one eye removed.

The vets told us he would have lost sight in that eye months ago as his tumor had pressed on his optic nerve. Felt awful we hadn't noticed (his first symptom was slightly bulging eye).

They said he would lose depth perception so to stop him from going up the stairs but he was so upset and stressed about being left downstairs we had to relent.

I can only imagine the trauma of them losing complete sight- how scary for them. You absolutely did the kindest thing.

I'm pleased to see this thread still going, but so sorry for the new members, I lost my little guy at the end of January and I really do still miss him, but I must say most days now we talk about him with fondness and remember the funny things he used to do, and I actually don't cry, I could very easily but I don't.

I haven't managed to bring myself to get another dog, not sure if I will do. I sometimes see one that seems to fit but I can't bring myself to apply.

I hope everyone is doing ok, it's really one of the most upsetting experiences to go through.

@freckletwin thank you. Please don't feel bad for not noticing its not your fault. I blamed myself for a long time and it's takes you to a dark place.

As @Zandra123 has mentioned we have to remember the happy times x

It was a week yesterday since we lost our beautiful JRT. Fortunately we've been on holiday this last week so have been able to put it from our minds for the most part. I've definitely found myself crying by the pool a couple of times! I'm dreading going home tomorrow to an empty house. It still doesn't quite feel real.

@TheWorstWeek we will be here for a hand hold! We went away the week after we lost our boy but it was a uk holiday he should have been on with us so it was awful!

Need to join here too sadly. Made the extremely rough decision to have our baby pts today. He had a tumour and had gone downhill rapidly, needed to make the decision before he got worse it would not have been fair. But I miss him terribly and can't at this time see how I will ever get over it. He was a family dog and my teens are also devastated he's been around practically their whole lives. It was the right decision but that doesn't make it any easier. I have cried solidly for 3 days now. Sorry to see so many other here too 😢

@Blendiful I am so sorry for your loss. I'm hoping the intensity of the pain and sadness of losing him doesn't last too long.

@Helplessandheartbroke oh that must have been so hard, knowing he was meant to be on holiday with you. We'd had this holiday abroad booked for a couple of months but sort of planned for a couple of years as it was to celebrate an anniversary. I felt okay when we were there but literally was crying in the car ride home from the airport as I knew she wouldn't be home today. I've cried on and off since.

@Blendiful I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you want to talk about your friend?

I have this too, we go away on Sunday and will come back next week to a house without him here. I know I will be crying on the way home. His little waggy tail was always the 1 thing to look forward to on returning.

Always, I never want to forget him. He was a dog I never thought we could have (as breed was really behind our budget at the time). He was from an accidental litter and as the breeder was going away needed to get rid cheaper than usual. And he was PERFECT. He was so loving, everybody who met him would comment on how friendly he is. He has left a hole way bigger than just our immediate family.
He has always been so sprites for his older age, but over the last 3 months started to go downhill, he was struggling to get up, could no longer pick up his ball and didn't even get up to greet people any more. It was the right time, he would only have gotten worse, but god it was so hard.
I was with him until the end and he had 2 days of all the steak he could eat, chocolate, cake, ice cream. It was hard though taking him as he still seemed 'ok' to an extent even though for his usual self he wasn't.
I have cried more tears than I knew existed in my body.
My kids has ASD and he has been their comfort there has been lots of crying from them too, I miss him terribly.

@Blendiful he sounds amazing!!! It is sole destroying but you did the kindest thing. It took me a long time to get over the guilt and knowing for sure I did what was right x

Thank you, that is comforting to hear. I know it will take time and I will be grateful for the days I can look back and smile at the memories. But right now there is only tears

@Blendiful sorry for your loss. Your dog sounds like a well loved member of your family.
We found out our Gsd's tumour had returned on our youngest dd's 18th birthday- so it was really hard on everyone. Dh and I had decided in the car on the way home we would try and give ddog the best summer and try and make a decision before dd moved to uni in September. Unfortunately he went down hill quickly, but I'm glad it didn't happen when the kids were away at uni. He was very much the family dog and his loss has been felt by us all.
We hadn't planned a holiday this summer but I still find myself looking at pet friendly accommodation and then realise we don't need that now.

So sorry to hear you've been through this too. It has just been my dds 18th also. So he saw her birthday at least. I wanted to give him longer but I knew realistically it would have been selfish and cruel of me as he wasn't his usual self and everyone had commented on his decline.
I just want him back, as he was 💔

Sending virtual hugs to you both x

Hey how is everyone? It was my birthday last week and also the 3 year anniversary to when ddog was ran over! My timeline went mad with pics of him and his recovery and I had a cry. 8 months on and I miss him dearly! I don't know that I'll ever mend x

I’m sadly having to join this group.
Our beautiful Bill was pts this morning. We’re all heartbroken.

He was 12, a Collie x GSD and had been diabetic for three years, he developed cataracts shortly after being diagnosed and lost his sight but he had cataract surgery which gave him back his sight (and his life, he couldn’t adapt to being blind). He was so patient having insulin injections twice daily and various eye drops twice daily too. He also recently developed arthritis but still wanted his walks.

His diabetes had been well controlled until recently when he started to lose weight again and drink more, and he slept a lot. His insulin dosage was increased which seemed to help for a few weeks but this week it appeared to stop being as effective.
Overnight he had awful diarrhoea with lots of blood and couldn’t stand so we had to get him to the vet and it was decided that the kindest thing to do was to let him go as the odds were stacked against him.

It doesn’t feel real that he’s no longer here, he’s been my shadow for the last 12 years and was loved beyond measure by us all.

Hi everyone, I wish I'd seen this thread earlier than today. 3 weeks today I had to have my beautiful girl pts. I'm finding it so hard. I feel so silly but I can't even move her things, all her toys are still out, her beds, blankets on the sofa etc. I picked up her food and water bowl, washed them and put them away but I can't pick up the mat they were on yet. Luckily people don't tend to come round to my house I go out with friends etc and family live a long way away but if anyone does drop by I feel like they think I'm a lunatic.

Just hoovering makes me feel so sad because each time I hoover her little hairs disappear even more never to be replaced. She was my best friend for 11 years and we were inseparable. I just feel like the joy has gone from my life. Someone tell me when it starts to get easier please.

@MadisonAvenue @Beryls hi both and welcome. So sorry to meet under these circumstances. Its the worse decision I've ever had to make and the guilt I felt was horrendous. We have to keep thinking of the good times. I still say goodnight to my boy every night and I'm 8 months on. I felt it got easier around the 3 month mark but it never fully goes away. They're such a big part of our lives. Here for a handhold whenever you need it x

Thank you, and I still whisper goodnight to my son’s guinea pig who died over 10 years ago so last night I added Bill to that and will continue to do so. They are such a huge part of our families aren’t they, and we don’t have them for anywhere near long enough. The house feels so incredibly empty, how did one little furry thing fill it with his presence?

It’s now a matter of finding a whole new way of life. I’d be out walking him at 6.30 every morning, I think I’ll used that time to run but I don’t want to bump into any dog walkers who I used to see at that time. His day was about routine due to having to keep his diabetes stable. He had to be fed twice daily, strictly 12 hours apart and with food carefully weighed, and then he’d be injected afterwards. Eye drops had to be given at intervals. Walks were supposed to be kept to regular times and lengths too as walking can affect glucose levels.

You know, I used to see a lady walking her dog every day and then I didn’t see her for a few weeks. The next time I saw her she was carrying his lead and collar, he’d died but she was still doing the walks at the same time.

Wow that really touched me about the lady carrying her dogs lead and collar.... I kept ddogs blanket to hand for a good few months so I could smell him. He was due his Xmas bath so the smell wasn't so great but I still found comfort and loved it. The hardest loss I've felt yet was my boy. Winston. Miss him every day. Do you want to talk about your friend?

Winston is a fabulous name!
We got Bill from Dogs Trust, he was born there and we were able to choose him from the litter when he was six weeks old. He was the only black and white one, all of the others were brown, so he stood out. We’d gone with a view to adopting an older dog, I was adamant no puppies and was close to the point of changing my mind about getting a dog as I knew everything would be left to me, but my husband said that as soon as the receptionist asked if we wanted to see some puppies he saw the sold sign appear in my eyes.
And I was right, everything was left to me…and it turned out that I loved that.

Bill was often quite a nervous dog at times but so very gentle. He didn’t have a nasty bone in his body. We had family to stay overnight a few weeks ago, including a 2 year old. Our boys are adults and were in secondary school when we got Bill so he’d not had any experience of little ones and we wondered how he’d react so we were very watchful but he just stuck to her side and followed her around.

He developed diabetes three years ago, just one of those things according to the vet as he wasn’t overweight and walked and ran miles and miles off lead through the woods and over the common behind our house every day (he decided which paths we took, I’d just follow). We got him stabilised but then he lost his sight due to cataracts, a common problem with diabetic dogs. He couldn’t adapt to be being blind and he sunk into a depression, it was awful so we explored cataract removal and he had that done and it gave him his life back.
He was so patient with twice daily insulin injections, a strict feeding regime (cucumber was the only ‘treat’ he was allowed) and then two lots of eye drops twice daily too.

He was just wonderful, and we all adored him so much and he returned that love ten-fold. One of his favourite times of the week was Friday morning when the Tesco delivery came, he’d perch on the arm of the sofa and look down the close for the delivery van and would go wild with excitement when he saw it. I’m thinking that I’m going to have to cancel this week’s delivery and shop instore because the delivery coming and him not being here might set me off in front of the driver.

Anyway, this is Bill. Taken last Christmas morning, he loved Christmas.

@MadisonAvenue thank you. He was a bulldog so it suited him so well.

Awww bills gorgeous! Such a happy face! The firsts of things will be tough! Winston was pts the week before Xmas and on my wedding anniversary. We had to throw his Xmas presents in the bin which was difficult. How you feeling today?

I said goodbye to my little girl today, she was 12. On Saturday she was fine. Over the weekend she started pooing blood so I took her to the vet, and today we had to put her to sleep. It's all so sudden, I'm heartbroken and in shock. I have another dog, who came with us when she was PTS and he was such a good boy, and a cat (who took my previous dog dying really badly).

I just keep crying and thinking about all the things I moaned at her about - I hope she thinks I was a nice mum to her and she had a happy life. She has been through so much with me, I'm lost without her on the sofa with me.

Oh that must’ve been so hard, at a time when we’re supposed to be happy.

I’m okay at times, and not at others. Up and down. I’ve never known grief like this. I lost my mom two years ago and I think because I had a lot of organising to do afterwards and my father to keep an eye on, plus she’d been ill for so long and it was as much a relief, I didn’t really feel a huge sadness.
I think my husband thought I was devoid of emotion until this week, he’s always been the emotional one while I’ve been the more pragmatic one.