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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

DP making me pick between him or the rescue dog

474 replies

LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 05:56

DP and I moved in together shortly after he got a cat, so yes I did move in with him knowing he has a cat (cat is 4). He always knew I wanted a dog the moment I had a garden though and was never against it, he just admitted he will always be a cat person and his cat will probably stay favourite. He was on board during the whole process, etc. we ended up adopting a puppy that had been in foster here after living in a Spanish rescue. Lovely dog who is now 10 months and only 6kg, so very small. He used to sleep with the cat and now does nothing but chase it and if he grabs her, takes fur out, etc. he’s blaming me, saying I never did training around cats but yet there was 0 issues until this last month where I’m trying but not sure what to do. His cat now hides almost all the time but does come out when it needs food, etc. he wants me to have the dog on a lead at all times and I’ve explained that’s completely not feasible at this stage and he said I should have done that from day 1, I am not sure why he keeps going on about what I should have done when he was a younger puppy because HE WAS FINE WITH THE CAT THEN. He’s basically concluded that if I refuse to have him on a lead basically the whole time he’s in the house, he has no option but to move out. We have only just quite recently bought, so it’s going to be a nightmare. I’m not entirely sure what I can do, I’m trying to train him the leave it command (he’s fine when it’s good or things, but not so effective with the cat but I’m obviously working on it) I always try to get his engagement when he sees the cat but he doesn’t engage until he is done chasing it, etc. I do feel it’s just a bit of a natural behaviour and there’s nothing more I can do really, which is winding him up the most but then is only offering solutions that would be cruel to the rescue… AIBU or is DP?

OP posts:
Lookatmytoes · 24/10/2023 06:58

I don’t like cats. I like dogs. Your dog is being allowed to fixate on chasing the cat which is horrid for the cat. You stop that behaviour as you retrain. Of course you use a hate and leads. It’s not cruel it’s part of training. Get a good trainer and they can help you.

Lookatmytoes · 24/10/2023 06:58

A gate. No need for hate

Original poster
LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 06:59

He knows plenty of commands and can stay/recall, it’s only a bit off when there’s small furries/birds, etc. we did do dog classes and she said he’s good but his impulse control isn’t good in prey situations

OP posts:
Original poster
LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 06:59

There is 2 gates already!!

OP posts:
Original poster
LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 07:01

How am i supposed to know his breed? He’s a 6kg, small dog. He came in on his own, no idea on mum

OP posts:
Universalsnail · 24/10/2023 07:01

I agree with your DP.

You have three options. He moves out with his cat. You re-home the dog. Or you put the dog on a house lead and in a crate when not out on house lead and you heavily work on training the dog not to chase the cat. Plenty of people do house lead and crate training method with training so I don't think it's an unreasonable request whilst training.

It's not about being more of a dog or a cat person. The cat was there first and it's the cats home and it is being terrorised by your dog.

Finlesswonder · 24/10/2023 07:02

Does the cat go outside?

HeadAgainstWall0923 · 24/10/2023 07:02

Poor cat 😢

How did you know the dog would be ok with the cat before you bought it home? Did you have a trial run or did you just get the dog and hope for the best? I don’t know how the process works when there are other pets to be considered?

Anyway the cat doesn’t deserve to live in fear and be attacked in its own home.

I think you need to find a new living arrangement because your current one definitely isn’t fair to the cat.

romdowa · 24/10/2023 07:02

LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 06:59

He knows plenty of commands and can stay/recall, it’s only a bit off when there’s small furries/birds, etc. we did do dog classes and she said he’s good but his impulse control isn’t good in prey situations

Then he's not trained 🙄 you need to train him so he will sit and stay no matter what is there. Also your vet can take a good guess at the dogs breed from its features.

Normalsizedsalad · 24/10/2023 07:03

LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 07:01

How am i supposed to know his breed? He’s a 6kg, small dog. He came in on his own, no idea on mum

Vet should be able to pinpoint the mix at least approximately. Ours always did and we had quite a few rescues.
DB did testing for his one to see

Setyoufree · 24/10/2023 07:04

You get a great trainer and you work with them intensively. You limit the areas of the house the dog is allowed in. You hold the dog when the cat is around and under no circumstances allow it to chase her.

And I know this is possible because it's exactly what I'm doing. My dog is a 30kg+ puppy and I can stop her chasing my cat, so you definitely can.

Original poster
LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 07:04

Your 10 month old puppies always listened perfectly? Omg! I never claimed he was perfectly trained, just explained where he was at with training

OP posts:
Normalsizedsalad · 24/10/2023 07:04

Go to different trainer

moose62 · 24/10/2023 07:04

I had this problem with my rescue dog. Unfortunately in some dogs the prey drive is so high that no amount of training will help completely. I had my dog on a lead all the time so I could grab him if he tried to chase. One day he was in the garden and I didn't see the cat coming. He gave chase and cornered the cat and was completely deaf to my commands but the cat turn round and lacerated his front legs. The dog retreated. From then on they tolerated each other but the dog still tried to chase any other cat he saw...or squirrel...or rabbit. You should move out or rehome the dog.

Original poster
LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 07:05

We did classes, not 1-1 so will definitely look at that

OP posts:
Basilton · 24/10/2023 07:05

LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 07:01

How am i supposed to know his breed? He’s a 6kg, small dog. He came in on his own, no idea on mum

Are you joking? You can’t make an educated guess? Why have you got a dog when you are so unwilling to put in any effort at all. To the extent you can’t even be arsed to find out what breed / mix he is. FFS. There are even apps that can estimate a dog breed, it would take 30 seconds.

Whataretheodds · 24/10/2023 07:06

LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 06:28

So I’m supposed to leave the dog on a lead the whole time? For the cat who probably comes into an area he is maybe twice a day? That seems really unfair on a 10 month old puppy who wants to be in and out of the garden, running and playing with toys, etc.

So either do this and persist with training in the meantime, or let the dog go somewhere it can run around off lead, or take the dog with you somewhere it can run around off lead.

I don't even really like cats but I can see your partner is not being unreasonable and you are.

Original poster
LostitwithMax · 24/10/2023 07:06

My vet has genuinely never listed any breeds and only said terrier mix. We have only seen the vet once though and it’s monthly with the nurse

OP posts:
Setyoufree · 24/10/2023 07:06

You 100% need 1:1. Classes are hopeless for this sort of thing.

Also your dog needs to be supervised at all times. So that means crate trained when you can't physically be within arms reach. And again, it's not impossible, it's what I'm doing.

ActDottie · 24/10/2023 07:06

He’s a cat person, you’re a dog person. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

If there’s any hope of you all living under the same roof I’d get a behaviourist in for the dog. Dogs can be trained to not chase cats it just requires effort.

I also agree that dog should be on a lead while in the house, only while doing the training. I have a dog who I put on a lead in the house when training her etc. as she has done behavioural issues.

GSD20 · 24/10/2023 07:06

I’m a dog person but this is the exact reason why some people aren’t responsible enough to have dogs and why I don’t agree with overseas rescue. This is something that should have been addressed seriously and strongly on day 1 the puppy showed this behaviour.

I would leave you for your attitude towards an animal being attacked in its own home. Natural to be harassed to have its hair torn out…fucking hell.

IncompleteSenten · 24/10/2023 07:07

So the cat just has to keep getting attacked until the day comes the dog rips the cat to pieces?

If you don't want to ensure the dog can never attack the cat then move out with the dog.

CobwebsAndCauldrons · 24/10/2023 07:08

In the short term....You use a lead - and you use your knowledge of the home and the animals to figure out when a lead is most likely needed and how you can get some 'warning' the cat wants to come through the dog's room. Neither is beyond the wit of a human.

You think of ways the cat can safely move through the dogs area (shelving etc).

You also work on basket muzzle training. Because it's a good thing for the dog to know anyway and it may well be needed here.

In the longer term...You contact an accredited dog trainer and work with them on training the dog. One who uses science based methods.

Swansridinghorses · 24/10/2023 07:08

It seems obvious to me. The dog is in the garden when you can supervise it, it can be in a single room with you playing and off lead. I’m assuming it also goes for walks. And then when they both are sharing the same area the puppy is on a long line. And you always have high value treats on you ready. I’d also put it on a lead once a day and take it to Where the cat it and ask it to look at you. Only for 3-5 mins max. Again with high value treats. I’m a dog person through and through but this is absolutely horrendous for the cat. Also this might be a 10 month old puppy but it can be expected to have manners and also to be taught to ‘settle’. There must be times you know the cat is more likely to be around anyway? Cats can get seriously unwell with stress so I’d rectify this asap. I don’t think you should rehome the dog but if you let it keep practicing this behaviour is it self rewarding. You have to stop him from being able to

MariaVT65 · 24/10/2023 07:08

Please get a professional to come to your home ASAP. If that doesn’t work, I think you’ll need to rehome the dog, sorry.

And I can’t believe you don’t know the breed. The place you got it from should have known and a vet should be able to tell you. Sorry but I think you need to take some more responsibility for this.