@GADDay Thank you for your kind words, he really is so important to us. He was central to our lives and I can’t believe he has gone. I agree about this thread - the kindness and support has been overwhelming. A glimmer of comfort in these hardest of times.
@May09Bump Thank you. I hope so. I hope more than anything that the last things he knew were cuddling up to me and being given his favourite treat - I am in agony now but it gives me some comfort to think that the very last things he knew were love and warmth and safety. I want him to have always known that. He deserved the very best, he was such a good boy.
@dublingirl66 Thank you. We were so lucky to have him. The awful, terrible, wonderful truth is that I’d feel like this all over again just to have him back. The love we have for him is worth the grief now but that doesn’t make it any easier. I think, perhaps, it makes it harder.
@PoleToPole Thank you for sharing - that doesn’t sound trite at all, it sounds so comforting. I’m struggling to come up with anything at the moment that doesn’t just make me so sad. Did you start doing that straightaway? I am finding it very hard to just sit with the good memories at the moment. The absence of him is just so vivid and I physically hurt thinking that he is not here. He is everywhere in my thoughts and nowhere when I look for him. I said his name out loud to my toddler yesterday, as I was getting her ready for bed, and she pointed to her bedroom door as she always did, to tell me that he was waiting just outside the door. And, for a brief minute, I couldn’t help but believe he was. I am struggling to accept he gone. I don’t want it to be real. I need it not to be real.
@Oliphanto Thank you, I appreciate that more than you know. I am having a very hard morning. I dreamt about my boy this morning, just before waking up. He was standing in front of me and, in my dream, I stroked his head, scratched his ears and tickled him under his chin. All his favourite spots when we made a fuss of him. He felt so real, he was exactly as he always was - the warmth of him, the smell of him, the look in his eyes. When I wrote to him last night, I asked him to come to see me in my dreams and he did. It was so bittersweet because even in the dream I could feel myself trying to hang on to him, to savour the moment. And then I was awake, trying to get back into the dream and he was gone. And I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Again. I want my little buddy back. I hate waking up and the whole day is stretching ahead without him. I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know what to do without him.
@ilovecardigans I hope you found some peace last night and got some rest. I know it is so hard. Wishing you a better day today 