Not sure I can do this anymore (please don't flame me) (long)

[Solo2]

I don't think I can do this....I've been up the entire night with Rollo (1 yr old golden retriever) who has developed diarrhoea - again.

Anyone who know his history, will be aware that he had this recurrently for about 5 months, where each time he came off antibiotics, he got ill again. I spent nights and days hosing the lawn and kitchen, had no sleep, could never ignore him of he howled at night, as it usually meant he needed to poo...I spent about £2,000 on vet/ vet hospital fees.

I've found it SO stressful having a dog that even when he's not been ill and has withdrawn from medications and now off everything for about 1.5 months, it's been really difficult. I am constantly torn between Rollo's needs and my children's needs and am massively more stressed than I've ever been and a massively worse mother (solo mum) than I've ever been.

Latterly, Rollo hasn't been able to go off-lead as he discovered hunting and won't come back when called. I'm working on this. I've decreased my self-employed earnings to free up enough hrs in the day to do dog walks and training. I pay vast amounts at w/es and school hols to have the dog looked after by his lovely trainer, so that I can focus on the DCs and keep - barely - on top of household tasks and business paperwork.

However committed I am, I did say to myself that, if Rollo got diarrhoea again, I'd have to rehome him. I'm not sure it's fair on my DCS NOT to rehome him really, as I can't give them what they need and give Rollo also what he needs. I feel despairing.

I signed a contract with the breeder that she'd be informed and have a say in rehoming but my DCs - who keep definitely WANTING to rehome him (they have nothing to do with him at all and never really wanted him) and definitely NOT wanting to rehome him, think they could live with him being rehomed near to us where we could still see him.

I'd LOVE my dog trainer to have him - IF she could/would (she has 3 dogs of her own and lives in a tiny flat but she's known Rollo since he was 7 weeks old and often has him to stay). However, I haven't even approached her about this yet. She was supposed to have him this w/e but obviously can't/won't given he's ill and I've NO idea how to manage the w/e (I'm working Sat. am anyway) and have a sick dog and the DCs too...

She would be brilliant at knowing who locally could have him BUT I'm supposed to do this through the breeder who isn't local to us and hasn't had any contact with us/ Rollo, except an email or two when he was v sick some months ago.

I'm torn apart...I know I'm writing after a night without sleep and with a full day of work and dog-poo mopping ahead but...it's not really working is it? I know many of you will be totally aghast at my thoughts on re-homing and I always believed I could MAKE this work for us and waited a lifetime for a dog but...I really don't think I can go on.

I am barely managing when Rollo isn't ill. I must have now spent around £6,000+ in total on him in the last 11 months and LOST income because of having him too. If I didn't have DCs, I could manage. I'm not sure it's fair on the DCs to keep him, even IF they never forgive me for re-homing him.

Not sure what else to say really and am fully aware that many of you will find it appalling that I'm considering rehoming at a time when so many dogs are rehomed (1 yr+ old). He's got a lovely temperament and I'm told by other dog owners that he's 'easy' , except for the tummy trouble.

Have no idea why he's ill as he wears a muzzle ALL the time we're out and about, never eats anything at all other than his Royal Canin Sensitivity kibble (I am literally obsessive at monitoring him) and was fine on that for over a month and on NO medication. He's even had less contact with other dogs than normal, since I've had to keep him to on-lead walks....I think it must be the underlying condition returning.

Have a vet appointment later today (which also means paying for an after school facility for my DCs) as they can't fit me in earlier....

That's where I am today, after a night up and a future streching out before me
that just feels impossible

That unsettles me that someone would round up and judge every aspect of a poster's life and circumstances from all their postings in different threads.

Rescues often come with no history, my current turned out to have a heart issue which has cost thousands. I insure, register at vets, don't visit for two weeks then visit when I need to. Had I known or thought the heart prob was there I would have done the same. If I took on solo I might insist I knew nothing of his poo, not that a maintenance dose of antibiotic is expensive.

If I placed him in rescue I would let them find out too, after all a different vet might give a different opinion.

I don't feel comfortable with how this thread is going either.
Solo posts in the doghouse because she needs help and support about her dog, the rest of her private life -if she doesn't mention it - isn't up for discussion.
For what its worth we were given similar advice from the vets about our dog, including muzzling outdoors (we tried it, it didnt work for us, we stopped it). We also do not usually let our dog in the garden unsupervised as he will eat cat or fox poo, and occasionally his own, which upsets his stomach. He us the happiest dog ever, and loves being in the garden WITH us as a bit of a treat. In fact there have been several very respected posters advising in the doghouse of the risk of theft in leaving a dog unsupervised in gardens, so it's rather mean to pick up in that and say Rollo must be unhappy.

purplefrog, have reported that post

Purple I have reported our post, solos life is nothing to do with us. I might not agree with how she's working with Rollo but I certainly do not want to be a part of bitching about her personal life.

Purple your post is cruel, selective editing of any poster could distort their presentation. Wow she co sleeps, I thought that one of life's snuggly pleasures rather than a cause of canine sloppy stools.

Solo, good luck. What will make you feel ok?

I co-sleep with dd2 who is almost 5. Not by choice, well not my choice anyway. Just sheer laziness. The same reason I also occassionally co-sleep with a greyhound and/or a whippet.

i co-sleep. with any of my 5 (soon to be 6) children. but draw the line at the dog as he is huge.

in fact last week, dh did the co-sleeping duties and i wound up in a toddler bed. not quite sure what happened there

Whippy is only tiny and is scared of thunder and heavy rain and wind and well weather in general. It's easier just to stick her on the end of our bed than to go back down and start fannying about turning on the PC and looking for her relaxation music etc. (precious first Whippet syndrome, moi? Never )

The greyhound sleeps in our room and we do sometimes wake up to find she has moved from her own bed to ours. I rolled over one morning to give DH a hug only to discover he had grown a rather lot of silky balck hair and developed a severe case of greyhound breath

No one is perfect and pulling apart every aspect of a persons life is wrong. Solo is struggling with Rollo, which is why suggestions have been made to make that easier. We don't all necessarily follow every bit of what we suggest ourselves. The rest of Solo's life is out of bounds, imo. Unless she asks for help in that area.

Well said, D0oin'. I would hate to see my entire life torn apart due to my failings in one particular aspect of it.

i didn't see the now deleted post and hopefully solo2 didn't either so maybe best not to talk about the stuff that was in it? she need never have known it's content and doesn't need to know any more iyswim.

Sorry ... I went too far. I came back on to get that post deleted but found someone had beaten me to it....

we all make mistakes Purplefrog - it is an emotive thread. You are forgiven..

God will be singing that for ages,

I sounded preachy for a person who once came across a post from a person sobbing about how mean I had been.

Solo probably isn't even reading these responses anymore but it's all about taking the appropriate measures isn't it?

We're in Australia at the moment (12 months until we're home) in a part of the East coast that has 1. snakes (we've had carpet pythons in the garden as well as an unidentified one) - potentially deadly. 2. Spiders (we've had a couple of redbacks - deadly). 3. Paralysis ticks (potentially deadly) Both the dogs have had one , as have dd and I. Jack was very ill (his was in his ear) and needed antivenom 4.Cane Toads - potentially deadly to dogs if they mouth them.

So what do I do? Never let the dogs outside for a mooch? Course not. I spray them with anti-tick stuff and fingertip check them everyday. I walk around the garden at night picking up and killing the cane toads. I do a quick walk around in the morning checking for dodgy spider webs.

Life goes on. It has to! Living in a hermetically sealed box would be no life at all.

Rattles tambourine to block images of deadly mini beasts.

Yikes, I don't think I'll move to Australia!

I know it's quite mindblowing. I was fairly chilled out about spiders before I came out too!