Not sure I can do this anymore (please don't flame me) (long)

[Solo2]

I don't think I can do this....I've been up the entire night with Rollo (1 yr old golden retriever) who has developed diarrhoea - again.

Anyone who know his history, will be aware that he had this recurrently for about 5 months, where each time he came off antibiotics, he got ill again. I spent nights and days hosing the lawn and kitchen, had no sleep, could never ignore him of he howled at night, as it usually meant he needed to poo...I spent about £2,000 on vet/ vet hospital fees.

I've found it SO stressful having a dog that even when he's not been ill and has withdrawn from medications and now off everything for about 1.5 months, it's been really difficult. I am constantly torn between Rollo's needs and my children's needs and am massively more stressed than I've ever been and a massively worse mother (solo mum) than I've ever been.

Latterly, Rollo hasn't been able to go off-lead as he discovered hunting and won't come back when called. I'm working on this. I've decreased my self-employed earnings to free up enough hrs in the day to do dog walks and training. I pay vast amounts at w/es and school hols to have the dog looked after by his lovely trainer, so that I can focus on the DCs and keep - barely - on top of household tasks and business paperwork.

However committed I am, I did say to myself that, if Rollo got diarrhoea again, I'd have to rehome him. I'm not sure it's fair on my DCS NOT to rehome him really, as I can't give them what they need and give Rollo also what he needs. I feel despairing.

I signed a contract with the breeder that she'd be informed and have a say in rehoming but my DCs - who keep definitely WANTING to rehome him (they have nothing to do with him at all and never really wanted him) and definitely NOT wanting to rehome him, think they could live with him being rehomed near to us where we could still see him.

I'd LOVE my dog trainer to have him - IF she could/would (she has 3 dogs of her own and lives in a tiny flat but she's known Rollo since he was 7 weeks old and often has him to stay). However, I haven't even approached her about this yet. She was supposed to have him this w/e but obviously can't/won't given he's ill and I've NO idea how to manage the w/e (I'm working Sat. am anyway) and have a sick dog and the DCs too...

She would be brilliant at knowing who locally could have him BUT I'm supposed to do this through the breeder who isn't local to us and hasn't had any contact with us/ Rollo, except an email or two when he was v sick some months ago.

I'm torn apart...I know I'm writing after a night without sleep and with a full day of work and dog-poo mopping ahead but...it's not really working is it? I know many of you will be totally aghast at my thoughts on re-homing and I always believed I could MAKE this work for us and waited a lifetime for a dog but...I really don't think I can go on.

I am barely managing when Rollo isn't ill. I must have now spent around £6,000+ in total on him in the last 11 months and LOST income because of having him too. If I didn't have DCs, I could manage. I'm not sure it's fair on the DCs to keep him, even IF they never forgive me for re-homing him.

Not sure what else to say really and am fully aware that many of you will find it appalling that I'm considering rehoming at a time when so many dogs are rehomed (1 yr+ old). He's got a lovely temperament and I'm told by other dog owners that he's 'easy' , except for the tummy trouble.

Have no idea why he's ill as he wears a muzzle ALL the time we're out and about, never eats anything at all other than his Royal Canin Sensitivity kibble (I am literally obsessive at monitoring him) and was fine on that for over a month and on NO medication. He's even had less contact with other dogs than normal, since I've had to keep him to on-lead walks....I think it must be the underlying condition returning.

Have a vet appointment later today (which also means paying for an after school facility for my DCs) as they can't fit me in earlier....

That's where I am today, after a night up and a future streching out before me
that just feels impossible

I'm glad someone else said it first as I was expecting a flaming - is it really fair to expect someone else to deal with Rollo's issues? I absolutely support your decision, by the way, I just question whether rehoming is appropriate given his health issues. :(

A lot of vets are negative about raw diets. Their training in nutrition is usually minimal and often brand-sponsored, they're under a lot of pressure to stock and sell expensive branded food (Purina, Hills and Royal Canin are the usual culprits - all absolutely awful feeds at a premium price) and so it's not in their interest to explore raw. It really could be a life saver - as you're in last chance saloon, would you consider giving it a go? Raw chicken wings morning and night for a week? If he could come sound on raw it would be far more 'ethical' to rehome him then.

I'm sure someone would love to take Rollo on and if you can't find someone, I will have him (seriously). A thought though - anyone taking him would need to know about all his vet treatments since, if they seek to insure him, his pre-existing problems would not be covered. There could be a major cost consideration for a new owner.

Please, please go back to the breeder.

You have signed a contract and giving you a contract to sign is a pretty good sign that she is very committed to her dogs.

Any breeder I know who has issued such a thing would be heartbroken to have it completely ignored. Ring the breeder and explain what you want to do. If they are no help, then ring the breed rescue and do it properly. If you need contact details for GR rescue, I can give them to you.

TBH a tiny flat is no place for a retriever and three other dogs, no matter how much she'd love him.

If you are intent on rehoming him, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do it properly by first calling his breeder and if you have no luck with that, call the breed rescue. He deserves that. None of this is his fault.

Solo, I thought you said at one point that the diarrhoea was better when he was at the trainers, or is that out of date?

We solved our dogs recurrent diahrrea problem by feeding Quantum lamb and rice complete - just a suggestion . Even chicken and rice home cooked went straight through her. Firm poops ever since.

We took on two rescues at the same time as I fell pregnant and still face a lot of challenges - the poop is sorted but incessant barking etc..... Is testing me !

We are doing all we can , sounds like you have too , at some point you have to draw a line though

Xx

Update (and many thanks for all the supprotive replies): Rollo is in the vet's overnight now. He has a high temperature, is listless and drooling and wasn't wanting to do anything but sleep, between having diarrhoea.

The vet - the only one there who I really don't like, unfortunately - seems to think it's most likely a recurrence of the underlying condition. When I said I was at my wit's end and wondered why no one could tell me what was wrong with him, she got quite cross and said - I suppose quite rightly - that it wasn't always possible to find out unless you did a full biopsy.

She emphasised that I'd refused this when the vet school had suggested it as an option last summer. I'd thought this was a bit ott really, as he'd already has an ultrasound exam. and several blood tests/ stool samples and 2 v v v expensive stays in the vet school hospital.

They hadn't said he SHOULD have a biopsy and they'd also said it may still lead to no further answers, which remains the case. It'd involve a full blown op. and GA and cost around £1,800 I think.

She also then suggested that as Rollo seemed to be suffering recurrently, it might come to the option of putting him to sleep, as his quality of life wasn't that great....

I asked her if this could simply be a virus and coincidental that he's ill 4 weeks after withdrawing from all antibiotics? She thought probably not but couldn't say for sure.

He's also been having what they think/thought was an allergic reaction to something unspecified, about once every 4 weeks, where he DOESN'T get diarrhoea but he gets a high temperature and listless and drooling and this has been treated with a variety of things, depending on which vet sees him - from antiviral injection to steroid injection.

Between times, Rollo is energetic and happy and laid back. Would he be like this if he really has an underlying, systemic condition? Would he have declined so rapidly overnight, when yesterday, he was jogging (on lead with me) over hills?

I've got to telephone the vets in the morning, except that I'm working when they really want me to phone and may not have reached any conclusions when I phone v early. They said they'd probably put him on an anti-emetic and back yet again on antibiotics, which I'd successfully withdrawn him from, over 6 months, 4 weeks ago....They're going to try to feed him too...

I'm apprehensive about his return - which will probably be tomorrow, as he'll v likely have diarrhoea, if they've been feeding him (even when I feed him, each meal is done in tiny amounts in a food ball, to reduce stomach problems). It all feels like a repetition of last year really, when he'd go to the vets, get treated, become OK and then get diarrhoea again as soon as he was off antibiotics....(the cost of the overnight stay will be quite high too).

Yes, I don't think anyone would rehome him. No insurance will cover him for stomach problems and this is his core issue. He's a v v v expensive dog.

I'd have to contact the breeder really, if I did pursue rehoming, as I did sign the contract to that effect. But it may be that the ultimate option isn't this....

solo , first of all, you have been amazing with Rollo, many owners would have cracked by now...

Secondly, Rollo's symptoms sound identical to the ones Sam our lurcher had last year. He ended up on a drip at the vets for two weeks, had three blood transfusions and was not expected to live. He pulled through though.
He had an ultrasound but we also drew the line at a biopsy. In the end they diagnosed him with an auto-immune condition, inflammatory bowel disease, caused by a sudden bout of haemmorhagic gastro enteritis.

Sam is currently on Royal Canin Gastro-intestinal, low fat, sensitive food. Prescription food, very expensive.
When I floated the idea of raw feeding to one vet when Sam first fell ill I was met with 'Do you want to kill him?'.

However, we have since changed vets (long story, Sam was a rescue dog, rescue centre became involved with his care as I could not afford it as I had not got round to insuring him as my dad fell terminally ill the same week we adopted Sam, 6 weeks later Sam was ill and my father in hospital dying) and a few weeks ago we asked the vet there his opinion on raw feeding (old vet, been a vet all his life). He said Sam was an excellent candidate for a raw diet because of his stomach issues.

Sadly, Sam suffered a relapse before we had the change to try raw. He has just been off the steroids a week now and we are giving it a while. I have heard that when you first move a dog to raw there may well be a brief period of diarrhoea so am waiting until the Easter holidays when I am home to change Sam's diet.

But with his condition we are to expect regular relapses and the need to go back on to short courses of steroids.

Best of luck with Rollo. I have a dh and my dc are older than yours, and Sam does not sound as severe as Rollo and I sometimes struggle so I really really take my hat of to you x.

Ok I am going to get flamed. I do think it is appalling Solo. You have made a commitment to get a dog - you have to look after it whatever it throws at you.

Why are you up all night when a dog has diarrhoea? Put down newspaper and clear it up in the morning.

You know there is medication that makes him better - so he needs to go back on that for a while.

Your DC's need to understand that animals need to be looked after. It is a vital skill for DC's to learn compassion and understand the responsibility of looking after an animal.

I am so very sad at this situation and it need not be as bad as you are making it at all.

Try Hills Science Plan H/D for a quick test to see if it's an allergy. Otherwise try an exclusion diet to find out what he is allergic to.

I understand that it is a lot to deal with but I think events are overwhelming you and you can't see the wood for the trees. If it is a food allergy it's a really simple thing to solve.

Solo, I hope Rollo is feeling better tomorrow. Surely a vet wouldn't agree to PTS Rollo? Why say 'his quality of life isn't great'? No dog has a great quality of life when it's ill but Rollo has been fine for a while hasn't he (apart from some challenging behaviour when on walks)? You could do with a more supportive vet at a time like this especially when you're dealing with this very much on your own.

it sounds like you've gotten to the stage where you are relieved to hear a vet mention the PTS option. just CALL THE BREEDER. you signed a contract to give the dog back to her in a situation like this, she will take it back and do what needs to be done. why think of getting someone else to rehome it? no one is going to be more committed than the breeder who made you sign this contract.

don't have the dog put down, that's not fair. face you don't want to deal with him anymore and call the breeder and let him move on to her.

seriously you have a ready planned solution - the breeder. that's why she has these contracts precisely so dogs don't get badly rehomed or abandoned or put to sleep when they get expensive or difficult. the solutions is right there pre-planned for you. please just call her and get it over with for all your sakes.

Please do not get another dog in a few months/years. Brought a dog into a house where you say Dc's never wanted one, you don't have the time to commit to bringing up a dog, with or without issues.
Hope he finds a loving new home

Renthr breeder contract
Is he KC reg? Is he neutered? Is he endorsed on his papers as progeny not eligible for registration?

Oh and re raw
My vet told me the raw diet caused my Ridgeback bitch to have allergies, lumps and her frequent severe stomach upsets...

I begged to have her thyroid checked he told me I was paranoid an needed to buy the Royal Canin sensitive...

I changed vet, got the test, bang
Feed raw now on thyroid meds and fabulously healthy....

I think he should go back to his breeder. She put a contract in place with his long term welfare in mind.

In all conscience, you cannot rehome him to anyone else with his health the way it is...you're asking them to take on a very sick dog incurring significant vet bills.

You really sound at the end of your tether and it is not in your best interests or your DCs to continue with the state of affairs as it is. Phone the breeder...she brought him into this world and, ultimately, she should decide what his future holds from here.

Don't beat yourself up. It sounds like you have done all you can for him. This is not your fault. But you do now need to do what is in everyone's best interests.

i think sometimes people make the mistake of thinking vets are like doctors - they're not. they don't work for the nhs they work for the money you pay them and the products they sell and commissions etc. there is no money in raw and i can't understand why you're reluctant to try it given nothing else has worked and your vet hasn't proved right about anything so far.

also i'm thinking with long term repeated antibiotics your dogs stomach must be screwed - is there such a thing as friendly bacteria replacement therapy for dogs?

anyway this is all by the by as you've clearly reached the end. call the breeder.

swallowedafly I've always fed dogs raw, as has my mother before me, dating back to the 1940s.

It is what they would eat had they never been domesticated.

Never had any issues, even with dogs who had previously been reported to have delicate tummies.

What do you think the breeder is going to do? Generally they either resell the dogs Or give the dogs to a breed rescue.

This is not a re-homing issue. Rollo has a sensitive stomach or gut - medication worked in the past so that can be tried again. Raw food will certainly help also many dogs grow out of this. Have a lab myself who had similar symptoms so speaking from experience.

So Solo may feel fine but Rollo will be dumped in rescue. This is absolutely heartbreaking.

well obviously she shouldn't have gotten a dog but she did and no one has a time machine sadly.

thenightsky i'd probably feed real foods if it wasn't so expensive and i wasn't so lazy luckily my lab is ok on dried food plus whatever apple and pear cores ds gives her. she's also a fan of cooking scraps and always gets the skin from fish etc. very glad she doesn't have food allergies. do you know if antibiotics have similar damaging effects on the gut in dogs as they do in humans?

mimuu do you really think that a breeder who insists on such a contract wouldn't keep a dog they couldn't rehome?

i had a maine coone for a few years before i had my son - when i had my son he went ballistic, attacked him on a couple of occasions, was miserable and couldn't settle and it clearly wasn't working. i called the breeder and she was great. she managed to find him the perfect new home but if she hadn't done she would have kept him for the rest of his life - she had other cats at hers that had been returned many years after she'd sold them due to life circumstances who she hadn't been able to rehome due to their problems and they had a home for life with her. not all breeders have the attitude you are assuming.

minimuu - sorry - typo

swallowedfly yes it happens all the time. The breeders insisting on contracts and then will rehome to breed rescue. Two of my collies that I got from rescue where put there by breeders after the original "owners" couldn't cope (with barking and collies that were active - well what a surprise!). It is a way too common practice by breeders.

Re raw feeding is cheaper than dried food and as for being lazy - open freezer throw food on lawn - job done

All you having a go, telling her to re-home,or give back to the breeder...... why do you think this is better for the dog?

He has serious issues, is going to cost a lot, and mean a lot of hard work.

People that retire much loved animals (horses are the ones I am most familiar with) think they are doing what is best, but would it be best for him to leave his home, the family he loves etc?

If she can't manage him, and she has not been at all irresponsible here, she has invested loads of time, energy and money and clearly loves him and wants what is best for him, then she needs to do what is best for him, however unpalatable that may be.

If the vet is suggesting putting him to sleep, then it is an option that needs consideration.

FGS they do the job because they care about animals, not because they have some hidden agenda, and if they were only in it for the money, they would not suggest that would they?

so if an animal is inconvenient it should be killed caz? the dog has been fine for ages, walking, eating, affectionate and happy but has got a bout of upset stomach again - you reckon that's grounds for euthanasia? i can't agree.

I think you should get another opinion from another vet. And I really hope you don't have Rollo PTS unless nothing can be done to help him.