Not sure I can do this anymore (please don't flame me) (long)

[Solo2]

I don't think I can do this....I've been up the entire night with Rollo (1 yr old golden retriever) who has developed diarrhoea - again.

Anyone who know his history, will be aware that he had this recurrently for about 5 months, where each time he came off antibiotics, he got ill again. I spent nights and days hosing the lawn and kitchen, had no sleep, could never ignore him of he howled at night, as it usually meant he needed to poo...I spent about £2,000 on vet/ vet hospital fees.

I've found it SO stressful having a dog that even when he's not been ill and has withdrawn from medications and now off everything for about 1.5 months, it's been really difficult. I am constantly torn between Rollo's needs and my children's needs and am massively more stressed than I've ever been and a massively worse mother (solo mum) than I've ever been.

Latterly, Rollo hasn't been able to go off-lead as he discovered hunting and won't come back when called. I'm working on this. I've decreased my self-employed earnings to free up enough hrs in the day to do dog walks and training. I pay vast amounts at w/es and school hols to have the dog looked after by his lovely trainer, so that I can focus on the DCs and keep - barely - on top of household tasks and business paperwork.

However committed I am, I did say to myself that, if Rollo got diarrhoea again, I'd have to rehome him. I'm not sure it's fair on my DCS NOT to rehome him really, as I can't give them what they need and give Rollo also what he needs. I feel despairing.

I signed a contract with the breeder that she'd be informed and have a say in rehoming but my DCs - who keep definitely WANTING to rehome him (they have nothing to do with him at all and never really wanted him) and definitely NOT wanting to rehome him, think they could live with him being rehomed near to us where we could still see him.

I'd LOVE my dog trainer to have him - IF she could/would (she has 3 dogs of her own and lives in a tiny flat but she's known Rollo since he was 7 weeks old and often has him to stay). However, I haven't even approached her about this yet. She was supposed to have him this w/e but obviously can't/won't given he's ill and I've NO idea how to manage the w/e (I'm working Sat. am anyway) and have a sick dog and the DCs too...

She would be brilliant at knowing who locally could have him BUT I'm supposed to do this through the breeder who isn't local to us and hasn't had any contact with us/ Rollo, except an email or two when he was v sick some months ago.

I'm torn apart...I know I'm writing after a night without sleep and with a full day of work and dog-poo mopping ahead but...it's not really working is it? I know many of you will be totally aghast at my thoughts on re-homing and I always believed I could MAKE this work for us and waited a lifetime for a dog but...I really don't think I can go on.

I am barely managing when Rollo isn't ill. I must have now spent around £6,000+ in total on him in the last 11 months and LOST income because of having him too. If I didn't have DCs, I could manage. I'm not sure it's fair on the DCs to keep him, even IF they never forgive me for re-homing him.

Not sure what else to say really and am fully aware that many of you will find it appalling that I'm considering rehoming at a time when so many dogs are rehomed (1 yr+ old). He's got a lovely temperament and I'm told by other dog owners that he's 'easy' , except for the tummy trouble.

Have no idea why he's ill as he wears a muzzle ALL the time we're out and about, never eats anything at all other than his Royal Canin Sensitivity kibble (I am literally obsessive at monitoring him) and was fine on that for over a month and on NO medication. He's even had less contact with other dogs than normal, since I've had to keep him to on-lead walks....I think it must be the underlying condition returning.

Have a vet appointment later today (which also means paying for an after school facility for my DCs) as they can't fit me in earlier....

That's where I am today, after a night up and a future streching out before me
that just feels impossible

Oh God - poor you! I'm not really going to be able to say much of any help, I'm sorry to say, as I am in a slightly similar-ish situation (just about to write a long post myself).

I too am considering rehoming my (rescue) dog, because of the huge impact he's having on all of our lives, in a negative sense. I'm really stressed and my DCs and DH are too. We just want life to be less stressful. I am also very very TIRED and depressed about the years stretching our before me...

I think if your DCs are WANTING to rehome him, then that's pretty serious. I know, believe me, what a difficult decision this is for you, and only you can make that decision.

I think you might need to get together with your DCs and have an open and honest discussion. Maybe even write down some positives and negatives to doggie owership. Make sure they really understand the implications of rehoming him. I'd maybe start to discuss some 'what ifs' with your trainer too.

BIG SIGH....

Sorry I can't be more helpful than that... I'm in the same boat, over aggression/snapping rather than poo. Not sure which is worse :-(

Best of luck and HUG from me.

Have you tried him on a raw diet? I've heard a few stories where owners have changed onto raw after trying everything else including "sensitive" type dry food and they can't believe the difference it's made. I don't think it's that expensive either, I believe there are a couple of online companies that deliver frozen raw food that's ready to eat (after defrosting)
It may be that rollo is just highly sensitive to the grains and cereals all these dry foods have in them, it's not good for them. Maybe you could give it a try? I feel for you though, it's not the nicest thing to have to clean up every day

I wouldn't give it a second thought. Sounds horrendous. And like you have really really really tried.

I think maybe now is the time to seriously look in to rehoming Rollo. You sound miserable, Rollo sounds miserable and can you really do this for another 10-14 years? Having a dog is supposed to bring you pleasure as well as being some hard work, but you don't seem to be enjoying it at all. Please contact a decent rescue, though, for Rollo's sake.

We rehomed our dog after 2 years as he was ruining our family and making me miserable. I felt awful about it but the minute he went it was like a cloud had lifted and now I don't regret it for even one mili-second.

I said it before on one of your threads and i'm going to say it again now, you and rollo need to part ways before you have a nervous breakdown. His bowel issues could well be stress related, you sound ( in the nicest possible way!) completely neurotic about this dog and that is not healthy, rollo will be picking up on it and i bet he's as anxious as you are.

Solo2 I can TOTALLY understand why you want to rehome Rollo and nobody is going to judge you for it after everything you've been through with him.

But, given that we're at the stage where it's last chance saloon for him, PLEASE consider putting him on a raw diet for, say, just 4 weeks while you make arrangements for rehoming him.

I know you've been through some very expensive specialists and they've all advised very strongly against it, but honestly there is nothing left to lose now by trying it. The stuff about bacteria is all boolacks as far as I'm concerned - my own dog has a very sensitive tum and you should see some of the crap she hoovers up from the filthy, filthy streets around here - there is nothing in raw food to cause concern for a dog.

With our pup (who, it turns out, is allergic to a lot of things, including Royal Canin, which is the only so-called quality food available in this country), we had to go back to feeding her ONLY chicken.

(Recently, we re-introduced what was left of our sack of Royal Canin as training treats, and it set off her food allergies again with ghastly results).

So her raw food diet is basically: a whole 600g chicken per day, chopped in half (half given at breakfast, half at dinner).

She is 24kg and looks a lot like a retriever.

For training treats (and this is the BEST thing about the raw food diet, as the training treats I am about to describe are basically dog heaven and if Rollo tolerates them will really help your recall issues!) do the following:
Buy packs of chicken hearts, chicken gizzards and chicken livers (readily available in supermarkets over here, not sure about England - you may need to contact your butcher) and boil them all up in a big saucepan for about an hour. Then transfer them to a baking sheet, and dry them out for an hour or two in a very low oven, around 120 degrees.

Voila, you have a few bags of training treats at very little cost which even the most sensitive tum will tolerate. On days when I am doing a lot of training, we just drop one of her meals - usually breakfast as she's never normally too bothered about eating in the mornings.

We are trying to introduce other foods to diversify our dog's diet, but her tum is very sensitive so we have to be careful. She seems OK with a couple of eggs and a tin of sardines once a week, which helps her coat and she is starting to tolerate more red meat now.

We have also moved her at night into the room which has a dog flap, so she can go outside if she does get the squits - this has been a big weight off my mind as I was getting sleepless nights worrying about her on the nights after she'd managed to hoover up disgusting things off the beach. I only had to clear up diarroeha from the kitchen one morning and that was enough for me, so I totally understand why you're at the end of your tether with Rollo.

Seriously, just try him on half a chicken tonight or tomorrow morning - it has an AMAZING effect on their poos. You've really got nothing to lose.

But don't feel bad if you do decide to rehome him. I know it will be heartbreaking, but everyone on here will be here to support you through it.

Yes - I agree wholeheartedly with the last post - do research HOW you rehome thoroughly. So, what is the deal with the breeder? Do you HAVE to give him back to them? If you opt for a rescue centre, do contact several for advice and to get a 'feel' for them. It's like anything, there are good and bad ones.

For me, in a similarish boat, its the DCs that are making me think seriousy about rehoming. I don't even appear to care that much about myself...

Good luck with the vet though and might be worth trying the raw food thing. But I think, for your own sanity, maybe that should be the last try?

By the way, if it was me, personally, I would ignore the contract with the breeder - how is she ever going to find out? - and do what's best for Rollo, which basically means following the experts' advice on here.

Ignore the agreement with the breeder and rehome him through the trainer

I have followed your threads and I think you have done everything you could to make this work

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with Rollo, it sounds awful.

Can I add my voice to the suggestion that you try raw? Rollo sounds just like a lovely Chocolate Lab I know, constantly had an upset tummy, always scavenging and making himself ill and big Vet bills!

What has worked for him is a combination of raw food, his owner feeds him this one (please just take a look at the web site) comes frozen so no messing with carcasses or anything, and gundog training to deal with the scavenging so he no longer has to wear a muzzle when he's out.

No one here is going to blame you if you are at the end of your tether with this but realistically how are you going to find someone to take a dog of his age with his problems? But if you do I'm sure his breeder will be happy to go along with that, she's being a responsible breeder by wanting to be involved in rehoming.

Thanks. I don't think Rollo is unhappy. He's laid back most of the time, is v affectionate and has been off meds. and really healthy (firm poos too) for 1.5 mnths. But I am breaking under the strain and taking it out on the DCs and I can see that this is not Rollo's fault - just the fact that my lifestyle can't fit with a dog's needs.

I was told firmly by the vet school hospital last yr, on NO account to try raw food as the bacteria in it would exacerbate his small intestine bacterial overload. So I'm told only ever to give this sensitivity kibble and nothing else - no treats etc etc.

The thought of rehoming him feels like an immense relief and an immense failure. I've never reneged on a responsibility in my life but I can see that my responsibility to my DCs has to take precedence and I don't have the resources - externally or internally - to do better than I'm doing now.

So many other people seem to sale through dog-ownership and take it all in their stride. I don't know how much is a failing on my part - my personality - or my lifetstyle - solo mum to twins, running f/t business singlehandedly, paying 2 lots of school fees, no domestic or admin. help, no child care help, one DT who is often up sick in the night and the other with Asperger's traits and the special needs that go along with that.

I really don't think I can sustain this for much longer and really feel awful that my stress is affecting the DCs. I'm not looking forward to several more days and nights of no sleep (probably, going on Rollo's past history of diarrhoea). Looking beyond this, at having to cancel things of huge significance to the DCs because of Rollo's needs, I don't know what to do really....

I too have followed your posts from the start, solo, and I also suggested back in the summer that if you had to rehome him no one would judge you...you've given rollo your all
I hope you find the answer and you get some much deserved peace.

Contact your trainer today, right now, and tell her exactly how you feel. Ask for her help in rehoming. It won't come as a surprise to her and she knows how hard you've tried.

I'm in full support of you rehoming him too. You have done everything you can, but realistically are not able to cope with him on top of all your other responsibilities. Speak to your trainer as she knows what a lovely dog he is, and will help you find a home where he will be loved and looked after.

Solo, in the nicest possible way I think you may have a tendency to overthink things, in this case you need to just take action, and make the first step to rehome him. Even back last year I thought you are going to end up unwell through stress, which will not be good when you're on your own with the dcs and business.

solo2 I've read all your Rollo threads and I'm really sad to hear that he's ill again. You've tried so hard to get him better. However, the one thing you can't give Rollo is an extra three hours in the day to devote to sorting out his complicated food issues, on top of your DC, your job, your commitments and everything else. I have no DC, I work from home and my dogs are (touch wood) pretty healthy and they still eat up my working day alarmingly. A retired couple, or a SAHM with more free time, or an experienced Lab owner, will be able to manage Rollo's condition, and will give him a very happy home.

Normally I'd say go back to the breeder but if she's been no help about his illness, I'd be reluctant to send him back, if you think your trainer is more able to find him the right new home. How active is the breeder in the breed club? Because if the trainer's contacts fall through, I'd try breed rescue.

(((Solo)))

No advice to add, really, just that I know that if you need to re-home Rollo, its not out of a lack of responsibility. If anything, I'd say you tend towards over-responsibility (takes one to know one ).

And if you do, I know you will find him the most loving home possible.

Nothing to add except what others have said - re-home through your trainer. How could your breeder possibly object if you find a good home for Rollo? That is after all what the breeder is trying to achieve by having you agree to re-home through him/her. The end justifies the means. Hope Rollo's tum settles down quickly in the meantime.

Feesh, our pup was reactive to Royal Canin too - dreadful diarrhoea (the non allergenic one). He was ok on others, but is far happier on raw.

My brother's dog, also violently allergic - apparently to protein - isn't allowed raw either. But I do sometimes wonder what would happen if he was given some.

Also, remember that the amount of time and effort you've poured into trying to help Rollo will give a new owner a really comprehensive idea of what's been tried and what the options are. You're not just leaving him tied to the gates of a rescue with no note. And he sounds like a sweetie. The fact that you've trained him, and socialised him, and made him a child-friendly dog will count so much in his favour. There's just a limit to how much you personally can physically do.

To be honest it really sounds like you have too much on your plate so really don't feel guilty, just do what is best for the dog you love and find him a home that will be able to cope with him. As others have said the Breed rescue is probably the best way to go, but please do inform your breeder.

As a general many Vets are very anti raw food they have virtually no training in nutrition at Vet college and what there is is often sponsored by dog food manufacturers.

The Honey's raw food company offer a free consultation with no obligation, they really spent a lot of time helping me out (and I'm not on commission, honest. )

Private diet consultation

If you are worried about your dog?s health a change of diet could really make a huge difference. One of our retained vets or nutritionists will be delighted to review your dog?s health issues and make diet recommendations. You will be under no obligation to accept their suggestions and no charge will be made. Where our consultant recommends a raw diet (and this isn?t automatic, as they are all completely independent) we will happily quote for preparing it for you.

Food for thought?

Don't beat yourself up, I'm sure loads of people would have given up way before now, Solo.

can i just ask if you got to the bottom of what exactly is wrong with him? what do the vets suggest you do?

tbh if you can't manage him and his condition ( and god knows it sounds like you have tried so hard ) then what is the point of rehoming him? Who is going to want to deal with it?

Imagine if he was getting told off for it by someone not as understanding as you

If the vets can't sort it out, then I would seriously consider him being pts as he is clearly not a well dog xxx