Not sure I can do this anymore (please don't flame me) (long)

[Solo2]

I don't think I can do this....I've been up the entire night with Rollo (1 yr old golden retriever) who has developed diarrhoea - again.

Anyone who know his history, will be aware that he had this recurrently for about 5 months, where each time he came off antibiotics, he got ill again. I spent nights and days hosing the lawn and kitchen, had no sleep, could never ignore him of he howled at night, as it usually meant he needed to poo...I spent about £2,000 on vet/ vet hospital fees.

I've found it SO stressful having a dog that even when he's not been ill and has withdrawn from medications and now off everything for about 1.5 months, it's been really difficult. I am constantly torn between Rollo's needs and my children's needs and am massively more stressed than I've ever been and a massively worse mother (solo mum) than I've ever been.

Latterly, Rollo hasn't been able to go off-lead as he discovered hunting and won't come back when called. I'm working on this. I've decreased my self-employed earnings to free up enough hrs in the day to do dog walks and training. I pay vast amounts at w/es and school hols to have the dog looked after by his lovely trainer, so that I can focus on the DCs and keep - barely - on top of household tasks and business paperwork.

However committed I am, I did say to myself that, if Rollo got diarrhoea again, I'd have to rehome him. I'm not sure it's fair on my DCS NOT to rehome him really, as I can't give them what they need and give Rollo also what he needs. I feel despairing.

I signed a contract with the breeder that she'd be informed and have a say in rehoming but my DCs - who keep definitely WANTING to rehome him (they have nothing to do with him at all and never really wanted him) and definitely NOT wanting to rehome him, think they could live with him being rehomed near to us where we could still see him.

I'd LOVE my dog trainer to have him - IF she could/would (she has 3 dogs of her own and lives in a tiny flat but she's known Rollo since he was 7 weeks old and often has him to stay). However, I haven't even approached her about this yet. She was supposed to have him this w/e but obviously can't/won't given he's ill and I've NO idea how to manage the w/e (I'm working Sat. am anyway) and have a sick dog and the DCs too...

She would be brilliant at knowing who locally could have him BUT I'm supposed to do this through the breeder who isn't local to us and hasn't had any contact with us/ Rollo, except an email or two when he was v sick some months ago.

I'm torn apart...I know I'm writing after a night without sleep and with a full day of work and dog-poo mopping ahead but...it's not really working is it? I know many of you will be totally aghast at my thoughts on re-homing and I always believed I could MAKE this work for us and waited a lifetime for a dog but...I really don't think I can go on.

I am barely managing when Rollo isn't ill. I must have now spent around £6,000+ in total on him in the last 11 months and LOST income because of having him too. If I didn't have DCs, I could manage. I'm not sure it's fair on the DCs to keep him, even IF they never forgive me for re-homing him.

Not sure what else to say really and am fully aware that many of you will find it appalling that I'm considering rehoming at a time when so many dogs are rehomed (1 yr+ old). He's got a lovely temperament and I'm told by other dog owners that he's 'easy' , except for the tummy trouble.

Have no idea why he's ill as he wears a muzzle ALL the time we're out and about, never eats anything at all other than his Royal Canin Sensitivity kibble (I am literally obsessive at monitoring him) and was fine on that for over a month and on NO medication. He's even had less contact with other dogs than normal, since I've had to keep him to on-lead walks....I think it must be the underlying condition returning.

Have a vet appointment later today (which also means paying for an after school facility for my DCs) as they can't fit me in earlier....

That's where I am today, after a night up and a future streching out before me
that just feels impossible

i can't believe raw food would be cheaper. mine is on autarky salmon and rice (have done more expensive ones and she hasn't got on with them as well) which works out pretty cheap without being crap.

I don't disagree at all that sometimes PTS isn't the worst option but in this case, I think that should be the breeder's call.

Maybe I'm lucky to know better breeders than Minimuu obviously does, but the ones I know would want the dog to be returned as soon as they knew the owner was considering rehoming. Then they would assess what the best option for him would be...whether that's keep him themselves and try to resolve his medical problems, Rehome him if he's medically fit to be rehomed or PTS if not..

no i don't think that.

and I don't think it is inconvenient either.

my dog had colitis last year - nasty - and gives same symptoms as the op's dog. I knew she was ill, never scolded her, and just put paper down, cleared up behind her etc, but she hated it she knew she shouldn't just be messing everywhere, and looked so sad and sorry for herself all the time - though to be fair she is a collie, so very good at looking sorry suggesting that it is having no ill affects on the ops dog is just fantasy.

the only one who truly knows how he is feeling/behaving and what to do for the best is the op

Depends on the breeder to be fair, within our breed, returned dogs are usually kept our rehomed to people the breeder knows...
Mostly to save their breeding from being puppy farmed....

I'm still here, searching for a way to make this work. I'm just FEELING that I can't go on. I've been carrying on for almost exactly a year now. I do appreciate the sentiment that you take a dog on for life. Of course as a first time owner, no matter how many books I read about having a puppy/a dog over the years, no matter how many dogs I've spent time with, you never really know what it'll be like, nor what kind of pup you'll get.

I really am - and have - been doing everything to make this work. I'm worried aboput how much money it's costing - but I'm still paying up. Is it usual to spend around £6,000 (not including the price of the pup which was almost another £1,000) within the first year of a pup's life?

I'm even more worried about how it's affecting the DCs. It wasn't their fault at all that I desperately wanted a dog my whole life. One was against it (the one with Asps) and the other was open to it. But it was MY decision to get Rollo and so I can't force them to enjoy him/ care for him. They don't dislike him. They dislike the way I am when I'm under too much stress, as do I. They dislike the unpredictability of our days. We almost had to cancel the one holiday they ever get each yr (UK cottage) because of Rollo being ill and the twin with Asps. still talks about this in fear and dread.

I'll see what the vets say tomorrow. They've been adamant - as has the local 'renowned' vet school teaching hospital - that this isn't a food issue but some kind of systemic thing, for which they haven't found an origin or real solution. They said on no account feed raw food. They've said being on antibiotics permanently isn't a real option, though I've always been willing to pay out for this indefinitely. They can't even say if Rollo's current illness is at all in any way related to food, to his underlying stomach issue, to being off antibiotics for 4 weeks now. They can only suggest and explore further.

It's v difficult to go against the advice of those who are supposed to be trained, qualified experts and without yrs of dog owning experience behind me, I don't have the confidence to ignore what they're saying.

The breeder was pretty useless last year when I contacted her about Rollo's diarrhoea. She failed to get back to me for ages and then sent me some quotes from a forum that all suggested it was food allergy or a virus and the vet school had said it was v unlikely and more likely an underlying systemic stomach problem. She then stopped replying to my emails, even updates on Rollo.

Rollo was one of 19 pups she'd bred at the same time from 3 different bitches - although this was unusual for her to breed more than one at a time. Rollo was the last male dog left. She tried to sell me the last female too, who had been born with a foot deformity and it was only cos of this forum that I realised it'd not be a good idea to get 2 pups from the same litter at the same time.

She was recommended by the breeder I'd originally wanted but who had failed to have successful matings but I don't think she was 100% great. She's since moved locality and home and was on the verge of doing so and mentioned how she was going to have to rehome some of her own several dogs, as she'd have a smaller place - and not breed again.

I've had a LOT more help from my dog trainer locally. If I did think of rehoming Rollo, I'd really want him to go to someone local who I know and trust and where we could still see him. But like I say, no one may be able to rehome a dog with such expensive care needs and full-on support. I'd NEVER agree to Rollo going to an anonymous rehoming centre.

The breeder said last time (when I was at my wits end) that she wouldn't have Rollo herself but would simply give me the number of the area wide rehoming organisation. I wasn't happy with that and anyway, I've soldiered on since then. The contract says only that the breeder should be the first to know about any need to rehome - not that she'd help to rehome him herself.

Incidentally, when Rollo wakes needing to poo in the night, he makes tons of noise and wakes the DCs, so I can't just leave down paper. It's more about the DCs being woken all night. When he had diarrhoea before, he had it so badly, it was all up the walls and on every part of the kitchen floor - no matter how much paper I put down. He also ate the paper too and shredded it everywhere, covered in liquid diarrhoea and vomit!

I really have to go on the advice of the vets, I think and wait to see what they say tomorrow. Maybe a good night's sleep will help.

unless you got your dog put down i don't see your point caz.

sounds like you're hoping they'll stick with the pts line. all very sad.

please don't get another dog.

my point being that what my dog had was trivial compared to the op's dog, and it was horrible

walk a mile in another's shoes and all that.....the op has been expremely caring and a very responsible owner

who do you think you are to say she shouldn't have another dog?

Is it her fault he is ill?

Solo, I'm really sorry to hear all of this. I hope it is just a setback and that within a few days Rollo will be back to the way he was this last month, until just now.

The breeder doesn't sound very good, tbh. I don't think they will take Rollo back and wouldn't trust them to look after him if they did. And realistically I don't think anyone else will take him on with his health problems. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow, after a good night's sleep. Having to be up all night always makes a bad situation feel worse than it is.

I don't understand why you cut down your working time to make more walks time for Rollo. I think you need to keep working (since after all you need the money for the vet bills) and once he's back home, just fit his walks into the time available, and so what if he has to stay on his leash for now. He'll cope with that.

I know that some people give their dogs small amounts of live yoghurt after they've been on antibiotics. Obviously you have to consider your vets advice and your previous experience with Rollo, but if you think it might help restore his stomach bacteria, you could always try it.

I know this is really stressful for you, but I think you should do what you can to reduce the stress. Yes, it's awful, but at the same time you can say to yourself, you're still giving him a happy home, and getting him the medical care he needs. Next time you feel stressed, remember that and try to feel proud instead.

Good luck and I hope tomorrow is a better day (or the one after, if the vet has fed him the wrong food..).

But most of your problems could have been avoided that is what is so frustrating.

Majority of vets are against raw feeding but research has proven that it will work. They have a few hours on nutritional training on dogs on their vet training no wonder they have no understanding. Do you take the word of Drs without doing any independent research yourself?

A good breeder would not give dogs away without 6 weeks insurance so bills would not be a problem if you had insurance.

It is always sensible to ask what the breeder would do if the rehoming situation occurred.

It is really unfair to only rehome locally - that is only for your benefit either you keep Rollo or you don't, why should you have a halfway house situation. Not fair on Rollo or you or the new owners.

Can't help but think that your anxiety is making your DC worse why does Rollo make a day unpredictable! Your holiday was not ruined by Rollo at all so why dwell on what did not happen.

I am going to have to hide this thread wish I could magic Rollo here to look after. Where is Vallhalla when you need her

I know, I wish I could magic Rollo here too!

so then what - he would magically get better with you [sceptical]

the reason i say don't get another dog caz is that the OP is still not in a position to take on a dog given the circumstances she describes and the level of anxiety and stress she feels. she just isn't in a position to have extra responsibilities and needs to meet.

it sounds like the dog is lovely but has recurrent stomach problems. that doesn't make a dog a suitable candidate for being pts caz. i just don't agree with you.

yes dog mess is a nightmare etc but it doesn't have to destroy everything on earth the way it is being portrayed here - the reality is that OP is not coping with her life and the dog is the straw that broke the camels back and the scapegoat for all stress, negativity, anxiety, depression etc imo.

i so hope another home is found with someone who is willing to try different things and bring calm and confidence to this dogs life.

Having read through this thread, you seem like a very caring owner Solo, and I'm not sure why you're getting some negative responses.

I wonder whether Rollo could 'grow out' of his condition, he is still young and perhaps has an immature gut that could get better with time.

Good luck.

solo - i have advised you to try slippery elm bark powder before.

my staffie has colitis, we manage it through diet (natures harvest fod) and by using slippery elm bark powder, made into a gloop, daily in his food.

i KNOW what it is like to have a dog with severe diarrhoea.

slippery elm is totally safe for humans and dogs,it is cheap and widely available in health food shops.

of course it may not work for rollo - on the other hand it might work as well as it does for my staffie. what have you got to lose?

solo, Sam's issues are not caused by food either, but by an auto-immune condition. That said, the vet is adamant raw food is a good bet and we are going to try it.
I moved away from expensive prescription Pro-Kolin which provides 'good bacteria' and a binding agent to Slippery Elm Powder mixed with a teaspoon of natural live yoghurt. This appears to settle Sam's stomacn bind his poo much better and at a fraction of the cost!
Try it - try slippery elm, live yoghurt and a raw diet. Give it a month and see where you are.

You have nothing to lose and a healthy Rollo to gain!!

oh dear :-((((((. I think the OP needs to calm down a bit. You sound a bit shrill Solo2. You come across as a highly stressed person. I am not denying that you have done lots for your dog - it sounds as htough you have moved moutnains for him but seriously, calm down love!

2 dogs with awful regular shitting shit, giant breeds.... Hot chocolate and mucous through a hose pipe.

Raw diet... All sorted. One rehomed twice probably because of his liquid shit, it is worth trying.

God yes... I'd forgotten slippery elm! Marvelous stuff. I've also remembered a lab I had who was awful for getting the shits. I used to settle her tummy down by feeding tripe, which is very gentle on the stomach.

Please try raw too.. what have you got to lose OP?

Yes, the pro-raw vet recommended green tripe (or pure tripe). Smelly but good stuff for dogs!

Agree with everything swallowedAfly just said.

realistically if this thread was on any other section than the doghouse we'd all be telling the op she needed support and help. we'd be recommending she went to her gp to tell her about how anxious and irritable she had been feeling and how stressed she was. we'd be asking where the children's father was and whether he was supportive, whether she had friends nearby etc.

this isn't all about a dogs stomach.

I think a breed rescue is a good idea actually. They would have the resources to look after him and he'd be safe there- you'd have to find a good no kill one of course. Most rescues that have long term stayers keep them in with the staff- in the office or coffee room- and they have a great life. I really think this is better than rehoming privately- with help from breeder or trainer - someone else could put him to sleep whenever they felt like it. A rescue will be able to spend more money and time on a a diagnosis.

I have to say, solo you've put a lot of time and effort into your doggie. Many people rehome for much less. If you did consider getting another dog in the future, don't buy a puppy. Get an adult rescue that has been in foster and you know is healthy and well matched to your situation. This is where you went wrong I think. You never know with a puppy, and when you don't have all the time in the world to devote yourself to a dog you need to make sure they can fit into your life.

OP I'm sorry you're getting some very harsh responses when it's so obvious you have done your best for Rollo and you're at the end of your tether.

I also completely understand what you mean about not having the confidence to ignore your Vet's advice but at this stage, as other posters have said, really what have you got to loose? Slippery elm and a raw diet may not be the solution but if the Vet's can't cure him then the situation can't get any worse can it? So surely it's worth clutching at straws?

Good luck to you and Rollo whatever you decide.

Raw food may kill the dog- that is what there is to lose. I have to say though, I'm not a fan of raw.