Should I marry a murderer? Netflix

[IAmKerplunk]

Has anyone watched this? I have just finished it. Honestly I feel mixed about Caroline. Don’t want to say too much in case others haven’t finished it.

I remember the story being reported but didn’t know how much else went on in the lead up to the trial.

@Victoriawould24 'I can’t remember the BBC documentary exactly but I
sure they insinuated that even his (Tony’s) family thought he was taking huge risks and his bike plan was a bit ill advised and they were already very worried before the accident.'

Yes, I was loath to mention the cyclist as it isn't relevant but the circumstances that night were strange. 11pm, pouring with rain, he was soaked and in a state, they offered a room but he decided to cycle though the night on a 'charity' cycle ride.
There are more questions than answers.
I think the pub put up with the brothers' obnoxious behaviour because they put all the Stalking weekend clients their way.
A strange community.

@yesgood point they probably depended on them to stay afloat.

I agree.

It’s one thing to be stubborn, but Tony Parson’s determination to continue cycling - under those circumstances - is a different matter.

Might there have been a very rowdy, hostile or unwelcoming reception at the hotel/pub for Tony, that hasn't been accurately recorded?

was it an offer of a free room? maybe he couldn’t afford to pay if
not?

All very strange…

I’ve just watched Sweet Bobby*, and i can understand why it was compared to this program with all the voice messages and videos being shared.

But, Kirat did keep them for the (non-existent) police investigation.

*My god, is he handsome!

That's a good point, how much were the rooms? Not youth hostel prices.

I don't think we have all the facts here. Did he usually cycle all through the night in torrential rain? Had he planned his stops along the planned route?

So yes it was really stupid and there are questions around him cycling. So if I hit him, part of me would think for fuck sake,.why are you bloody cycling here and now and I would feel angry and put a lot of that on him I'm sure.

The problem is - he was still alive, left to die alone, then bleached.

I don't care what he did and how fucked that was cycling like that. I would absolutely be angry myself if I hit him but I would not leave some guy to die - even if I was drunk driving.

I agree re the landlord. They must have brought alot of business so their pie headed drunk neanderthal antics would have been somewhat overlooked

The Parsons family in the BBC documentary refer to Tony as being stubborn and single minded. I wonder if he was under-prepared/under trained and didn’t want to lose face. He didn’t look particularly fit. Probably not very sensible to do that sort of thing on your own either (albeit 100 miles isn’t a very great distance for a fit and experienced cyclist).

That part of Scotland (Fort William, Glencoe) is very popular with charity hikers and cyclists. I wondered if the locals get a bit annoyed with the more naive and inexperienced getting themselves in to difficulties, Not that that excuses what happened to Tony.

I also have suspicions about the LL story. I wonder if they really did offer him a room for the night - or if he was booked in somewhere else? Don’t think he was as this was never mentioned.

He was cycling to a town about seven miles down the road so I presumed he had accommodation arranged there.

AFAIK he was not planning to stop at all. He was planning on cycling right through and keeping going until he got home.

She’d known him for about a month and had got engaged within that time, so had suddenly been drawn deep into him. That’s a red flag in itself for him being a potentially dangerous person, even if she was too stupid to see it at the time I think subconsciously at least it must have registered.

he was a really heavy drinker and in her own words turned into a different person when drunk and got argumentative and violent,

oh, and he’d just confessed he’d murdered someone and then buried the body.

he also has access to guns!!

so you’ve got this man who you’ve been drawn into an extremely intense relationship with, you’ve just betrayed him completely, and you know he’s got violent tendencies in multiple different ways and has killed before even if it wasn’t the most logical way to solve the problem.

you couldn’t possibly think of a higher danger risk if you tried! Obviously she was scared of what he’d do if he found out it was her who donned him in!

@fartotheleftside I don’t really agree, I think she’d be at much more risk if he was say a very manipulative person with a history of coercive control and high level domestic violence.
That would show a man who was very capable and willing to of cause serious harm when challenged or had control removed.
She reported he had a dark side when high or pissed but she was also getting shit faced and clearly very unstable so I’m not sure her account after the fact with quite excitable delivery to a tv producer can be taken as fact.
I am not defending him in any way for his cruel and inhumane actions I just don’t think he necessarily posed a massive threat to life to Caroline and her family and this was actually tested when he did in fact find out she was the police informant and he did shit all and carried on seeing her.

I would have thought he could become more of a threat to her when he’s out of prison since she’s made a Netflix documentary about him.

Placemarking as about to watch this

Just finished.

The going back after going to the police is not properly explained. Weeks and months of sharing a bed, a life, drink and drugs with almost no accountability for that decision.

Caroline even before this likely manic given relationship 1 told her she was ‘a bit much at times’.

Had the relationship with Sandy not fizzled its likely she’d of stayed with and by him. Much of this documentary seems to be putting out a better narrative but one that doesn’t fully reflect the actual reality imho (rewriting parts of history). Did she really live there and not be intimate for example!?

Feel desperately sorry for Mr Parson’s & his family but tbh there was something about a lot of what Caroline says and the waterfall incident that felt ‘off’ - not as out of touch with reality as she portrayed again imho.

Thanks to her, Sandy got 12 years, be out in 6. 😢

Think he probably still loves her.

Sadly, it all made perfect sense to me. She was damaged by the breakdown of her long-term relationship and her new relationship imploded because her partner was a murder.

So very sad. She was not supported by the police at all.

I felt she was like an undercover agent, trying to find out he answers. It took a lot out of her and it must have terrified her.

If she had not stayed in place with him, I expect they would never have found the body.

Yes, she was erratic and when she stole the tractor I could not believe it but also I understand that she was just crazy and it did make sense!

Poor woman.

What those men did was so evil.

I was livid when he said that! As if intelligence has a bearing on mental health! And the bloody lawyer repeatedly calling her Miss in blatant disrespect. I honestly could have bashed their heads together!! The poor woman was suffering badly, with no support, having a breakdown and suffering from mania due to having her life blown up not once but twice, and those men have the gall to try and blame it on her! Raging isn’t the word, honestly 😡

@LemonandLimesoda i tried to find your post where I’m assuming you explained that there was some kind of AI facial reconstruction in play or something like that that explains why she looked so different in the interview and the videos? But couldn’t find it! Would you mind explaining again? I couldn’t get over how different she looked in the videos, that were only a few years ago

Really uncomfortable watch. Nothing takes away from that poor man and the hell his family endured. Nothing.

Caroline clearly naive, by looks of it really privileged and yet in the retelling, her version did seem a bit like rewriting history… despite the complexity she was drawn to Sandy like magnet.

Her later justifying her conduct maybe was to (at least in part) to appease her parents who obviously were of a certain set.

I've just started watching this this evening and was shocked she drove an hour and a half to meet a stranger from Tinder in a remote area. It seemed so risky! I very rarely watch this sort of thing and I know I'll watch the next 2 episodes although I know I'll regret it 😬 it's just so dark and scary...like a bad dream. I can see why she didn't go straight to the police and just went into work, she must have been in shock. I honestly don't know what i would do in that situation

I've just finished watching and it felt like he was lying to me. Certainly there's no evidence he was offered a room and refused.

I felt so sorry for Caroline throughout this, she clearly needed help, but was brave and did the right thing, those men would still be completely free if it wasn't for her.

I watched it last week . Initially I didn’t really warm to Caroline at all and have much sympathy for her .

As I watched to the end , I did come to appreciate that the system had failed her by not giving her any support for her vulnerabilities. They judged her as a middle class professional woman holding down a very responsible job - that she didn’t need any support .

Her actions were unbelievable , especially rekindling the relationship after she had gone to the police and the frantic search for the bike .
This was clearly someone who wasn’t completely stable . She must have been under an incredible amount of stress and turned to drink and drugs . It must have been very difficult for her friends / family watching her self destruct . Although she seemed to reduce contact with them - so they may have not been aware of it all . Her parents did know though about the confession / police .

I suppose for me the most astounding part was that she got the confession from Sandy only about a month into their relationship . So this wasn’t a long term relationship where she felt loyalty / had shared happy years with him . But I do think both her and Sandy ( not that I am condoning his actions ) were both in some ways damaged and were drawn to each other and fell for each other very quickly in a very unhealthy way . She seemed to crave the intensity / attention that Sandy provided her with . If she had posted on Mumsnet at the time - everyone would have said to LTB - there were so many red flags !

It was an uncomfortable watch and as others have said , I do wonder what her motivation was other than financial . Even so it would have to be a big enough sum to compensate for her being thrust back into the spotlight , when she seemed to have turned her life around / be in a stable relationship.

Ultimately and most importantly the main victims were of course Sandy and his family who spent years not knowing what had happened to him .
I do think as the crown solicitor said they would have never found his body ever ( without Caroline's intervention) .
The family seemed to be grateful to her for this .

I think watching - we really can’t relate to what she did and how she could do that . The sensible thing would have been to cut all contact with Sandy and his brother after she had gone to the police . She would have come across as a more credible witness and they may have been able to proceed with a murder charge against the brothers , as there were several aggravating factors ; that Tony had been alive initially , that they buried him , used bleach etc .

As it was , who knows if she had received some support & had perhaps sought individual therapy at this stage - a successful
murder conviction may have been the outcome.

If she had been made to testify (without this support ) as a witness , she would have been torn to shreds and it is likely that the whole case would have collapsed with no justice at all for Tony or his family .