MAFS THREAD 10 where you will respect the forum and sit down. Take off your Anorak of Sulk and get your hands out their Uggs. For we shall wear our polo-necks of misery and janitor pyjamas of poetry.

[Dillite2]

The rest of the thread title

"For it's not easy to not get lipsed on the down low without someone getting lippy. Casper is still dying of cringe and Shitlid sees no way out. For we are all scrambling for our dignity, whilst watching the utter mockery"

It was a joint effort by us all.

Within the first week didn't Holly say how she doesn't like raising things with Alex when she's on her own with him? Now I understand why. He's just awful, confronting, defensive, etc. I can't believe Paul didn't dig deeper and find out why Holly was finding it so difficult. He's just a horrible person.

Siobhan looked pretty traumatised and exhausted by it all.

At the start, Alex said he wanted a fiery woman. I wonder if he really meant a mother type who would indulge his tantrums, tease him out of sulks, love him unconditionally, spoil him and speak sternly occasionally to him after a bout of bad behaviour?

The ixperts actually told Hollie that this was a boundary she should respect FFS! They literally sanctioned Alex isolating and controlling her. It was inexcusable.

I wonder what Alex's lovely mum made of all that, as I bet he's not like that to her.

I do find myself wondering what makes someone have such aggressive mindset. And from a parenting perspective how to instill respectfulness in to young men. Alex’s mum seemed so lovely

It's expecting way too much from what is essentially an entertainment show but I get the strong impression the production team contains no one at all who actually understands what is playing out in front of them. We're seeing deliberate goading, microaggressions, coercion, outright aggression, possessiveness, control - all things a genuine trained and experience person would spot and look to stop immediately. But that's not happening and it's all being played out as if this stuff isn't harmful and dysfunctional. Actual poor advice is being given, it's not just silence.

The worst of it is including people who DO claim to be experts and say that the show offers advice and information on how to build relationships. The whole concept as MAFS now is starts off unhealthy and unreasonable and what plays out is 95% bad relationship behaviour.

But if we can see it why can't they? Or are they able to see it and really don't give a shit. Which for the production team could be the case, but the ixperts should know better.

Although if even one person has the lights switched on about an abusive relationship and leaves, it's done something, I guess, even if not what was intended.

I have a horrible feeling that she has indulged his appalling behaviour throughout his life, always making excuses and telling him he's "the best" and to others that he is "misunderstood"

But if we can see it why can't they? Or are they able to see it and really don't give a shit. Which for the production team could be the case, but the ixperts should know better.

Exactly. The ixperts should know better. But the show makes it look like they don't. They look quite stupid in fact. Is it editing? Are they just poor? Is Paul someone who can talk about how to act on a date but can't spot a red flag if it's draped over his face?

Oh and Sacha strikes me as a woman who has been brought up with high self esteem and feels very comfortable setting out exactly what she needs in a relationship. I suspect her reaction to that photo was all about how she felt after the confrontation with Alex and not the sight of Ross hugging another woman per se.

If they actually do private paid work off the TV, this is a really really bad advert for them, and I'm surprised they haven't agreed more input into what we see of them. My cat would be a better relationship ixpert. And he IS an abusive tosspot.

Both the UK and Oz recent series have attracted serious criticism from Women's Aid and domestic abuse charities about the behaviour they've shown without comeback. You'd think they'd have learned but this series seems to be the worst of all.That alone suggests to me that the production team is just quite poor.

Or just all about the ratings.

It does make you think though, if they permit all this bad behaviour, but Ryan and Sionnain were booted, which I do think they were, what the hell went on there.

It really is all about the ratings. I don't think I can watch this again. It's causing harm.

I think Ryan obviously did something so unsubtle even the team couldn't ignore it (and very probably Shannon completely refused to stay). The internet stuff I've seen which claims he bit her suggests that they agreed with Ryan he could tell a story about leaving and Shannon was bulldozed into agreeing. I am a bit sceptical as frankly, if he bit her, that's criminal behaviour and I'd really really hope they wouldn't attempt to conceal that. I've also seen an additional possible spoiler that makes that all seem unlikely.

I think Alex is an overgrown baby tbh. You could see how he backed down with Sacha and moved making dumb criticisms about status etc, he needs someone as gobby and insecure as he is to match his senseless arguing. I think he’s probably used to those type of women and actively seeks them out.

I agree with someone up thread who said that black people on reality TV don’t often get good press for unfair reasons, but I don’t actually think that’s happening here tbf. Alex is showing himself to be a melt and I suspect that is his usual character. Although I am suspicious of the editing this year, more so they other times. Overall, I think they have a terrible cast this year with red flags galore, many of them are really horrible and I can see why it would be intimidating to some. All of the sexual coercion has been uncomfortable to watch for me.

*don't get good press

My son's dad's best friend is one of the grooms. Ex was at the wedding! So much more to come....

Which one?

Luke

I didn't watch last year because the year before it was so awful, and I'm annoyed now that I caved and watched this year, because it's ten times worse. Needless to say I still want to watch the rest of this series though, to see what happens 😩

I can believe people of colour are misrepresented in the media. I have watched a lot of people talk on TV about this angry black person label, which shuts down anyone who might understandably be angry at any given time about something.

With Alex,I don't feel that at all. It's not even that he's angry. He is angry, but he's scary and manipulative, gaslights and takes no accountability. I can believe his mum has bigged him up his whole life and he has a grandiose sense of self. I don't blame mum though, these people ( narc/sociopath, which I'm convinced Alex is) are also bred by temperament and nurture.

What's interesting is that Ryan has gone through this with very little attention or focus. So we have no idea what is really going on. I said before that at least with Alex he gives himself away. Ryan may be even more scary in reality if he's doing all these awful things behind the scenes but hiding it very well on the surface. And the show couldn't really zone in on him because he hides it - nothing to see here. Alex can't hide it for long.

With Richelle, I actually didn't and don't see her as an angry woman. She is however incredibly cutting and goes a step or two too far in her scathing and criticism. I believe she actually saw the truth about Orson and she called it out. I actually see her ( I know I'm in the minority here, ) as someone who calls out bullshit, is a stickler for the truth and reacts strongly to anyone putting on a facade. I really like these qualities in people.

Unfortunately though, Richelle is just cruel and unnecessary in her response to these things.

I noticed someone ask Alex if he was speaking Swahili and did think 🤔 about that.