Baby Reindeer - Netflix

[Spratt]

Got a day off today so I’m binging Baby Reindeer. Two episodes in and it’s great so far, I see that it’s previously been a stage show but I’ve never heard of it so looking forward to finding out what happens. It’s about a comedian being stalked by a woman in her 40s.

Gadd is not exactly emotionally balanced himself. Or always honest and nice. It's a game to say he altered the character so entirely that she wouldn't recognise herself, when he is using verbatim texts from her. One of the other people she stalked prior to him was called Donald and I wondered if that's where he got the name Donny from. He's playing at not outing them while outing them, then paying #bekind lip service to social media revelations on who they are.

Edited to add that I think he has every right to depict them as he chooses. His self-portrait is not flattering - he's looked at his own behaviour in a very interesting way. But saying they are not identifiable is a pretence.

I love her too. She seems to be a still point of sanity and normality in his utterly chaotic world. Not finished the series, so glad to hear she has a happy ending.

I think he wanted to come across as the bigger/better person by claiming to have made her unrecognisable, and underestimated the determination of self styled internet 'sleuths'

Or maybe he wanted their identities to be known all along? He's a complex person by all accounts so who knows really.

How did you find out about the other man, Donald? That's interesting and his choice of character name makes sense in light of that.

I also liked Teri.

I think that she acted as a good reminder, amidst the inflamed trans debate, that there are real people out there who are trans, for whatever reason, and just want to get on with their lives in peace.

Not a reason to not have the discussion, as it is important to have, but a reason to tone down some of the more aggressive comments challenging trans identities.

Just found her FB, she's very active. Not to mention racist and homophobic!

She posted yesterday saying she was being abused by two men and that she isn't who they were looking for.

Timeline, writing style etc do seem to fit.

I hate myself for looking tbh.

@BlackFriYay I really don't think a restraining order would prevent a stalker as relentless and obsessed as painted in the show, from referring to it even in an indirect way. Who knows though. The whole thing seems a shit show tbh

@Curlyblondefemale how is it helpful to share the name of a woman who has known mental health issues, if it even is her. At this point it's pure speculation and posting her name online just puts her at risk, whether it is her or not.

Erm I didn't put her name out there, it's all over the internet and it's pretty obviously her. I also don't follow the hug a stalker way of thinking. If this story had been about a woman being stalked by a man I guarantee nobody would be talking about his mental issues.

@Curlyblondefemale it's all over the internet and hasn't been confirmed by anyone other than internet sleuths who think they've got the right person. The sex of the stalker is irrelevant... not only does it put this alleged Martha at risk but also Richard Gadd himself. There was absolutely no need to name the person here. We've all seen the name online, most of us have the sense not to post or repeat it. Whether it is them or not, they're clearly a mentally vulnerable person. What did you think sharing a name here would achieve?

Yes I've seen quite a few people on Facebook with the same name as this woman stalker, saying 'it's not me - it's not me! Stop messaging me!' Some women have had to deactivate their facebook temporarily, or put really strict security on it so no-one can see anything or message them... It's not like the woman stalker has got an unusual name like Tallula Fluffington-Smythe. Hers is a fairly ordinary name.

It's all over the internet, being named on mumsnet isn't going to make a damned but of difference.

It makes zero difference that I've repeated on Mumsnet a name that you've already seen yourself.
Of course the sex makes a difference, if Richard Gadd was a woman talking about being stalked for years by a man , being attacked and sexually assaulted nobody would be talking about mental health.
If you want to feel pity for this woman go ahead, I don't.. It's absolutely her that has been named, and if she woke up yesterday to the knowledge that she's been outed then good! I feel no pity for her, and if she's stupid enough to contact Richard Gadd in some sort of ridiculous rage she'll be carted back to prison.

I don't pity her, maybe a little bit. She's clearly not had a nice childhood but there are ways and means of dealing with that - stalking someone isn't one of them

I'll be honest - I'm amazed that it hasn't hit the tabloids.
The stalker in question has allegedly previously stalked two famous MPs (well, famous in Scotland).
If I can find that out relatively quickly, anyone can.
As for disguising details, nope.
Scottish
Physicality
Accusing previous victim's parents of abuse.
It's all real.

JMSA

What you're saying is true though.
When he shagged Martha, I was like 'what the fuck are you doing, man?'
And as for going back to his abuser, come on. Some serious lapses of judgement happening.

Interesting. I took that scene as fantasy, a masturbation fantasy and not real.

Both MPs are dead now but the ex-wife/child of one will still be alive.
Because the sources are on the free library.com and not online as they go back to 2000 and 2002, I cannot link the sources (both attributed to the Sunday Mail Glasgow, Scotland).

As they also say they should not be copied without permission, I'll ask MN to take them down.

What is fascinating is that someone has previous going back 20 years but all concerned seemed unwilling to actually take police action. It is National Stalking Awareness week 24th-28th April.

Richard Gadd has made it really easy for the public to find the real Martha, even choosing the name of one of her other victims as his character name in Baby Reindeer. It must have been done on purpose, maybe it's revenge?
I'm not blaming him, I don't have any sympathy for her.

@MNHQ
I asked you to remove the post for fear of breach of copyright not for breaching guidelines.
Please remove the second post and subsequent reference to it.
If I have not breached copyright the first can be reinstated.
Thank you.

Ah, cross post. Thank you.

Would have thought the real Martha would have come off Facebook by now - or been advised to do so by the courts.

He didn't have sex with Martha. That was a fantasy to enable him to sleep with Toni.

I'd love to know how this all stacks up legally. I mean, do Netflix not have a legal team doing due diligence before this is made? Surely they must do something to prevent potential litigation. When does it constitute defamation / libel?

A bloke surely can't just walk up to a platform like Netflix and pitch a show 'based on true life' and they just say "that's smashing, we will take your word for it that you've changed details to protect identities"

Or would Netflix just say the same as RG is saying; it's all coincidence, and that details really were changed. That's obviously just lip service, from what I can see. Do they just not give a fuck?

Fuck me, it's like a massive exercise in gaslighting.