Baby Reindeer - Netflix

[Spratt]

Got a day off today so I’m binging Baby Reindeer. Two episodes in and it’s great so far, I see that it’s previously been a stage show but I’ve never heard of it so looking forward to finding out what happens. It’s about a comedian being stalked by a woman in her 40s.

Validation rather than valediction?
I'm not sure stalkers have that Damascus moment, do they?
They genuinely believe there was a relationship, the other person owes them something or needs to admit something, that they themselves are the victim.
So Emily Maitlis's stalker (who he met at Cambridge) has made it clear that he thinks she owes him an apology and he won't ever stop until she speaks about "her behaviour in 1990". Completely obsessed, delusional and dangerous. He's been stalking her for over 30 years and jail time does not deter him.

He is the absolute opposite of full of himself. He has zero self esteem.

@JojoSeawitchHasBeenABadBadGirl ,

Yes, validation was the word I was looking for.

Damascene conversion, not Damascus moment?

Ooh I like that!

Someone said earlier that Teri has a happy-ever-after. Did I blink and miss it? What happened to them?

I've just started watching. I'm on Episode 3 now and I am really glad he wrote it in the way he did; as a representation of a mental illness. It's realistic and refreshing compared to the shit that has been churned out after 50 shades trying to make it into some kind of badge of honor that someone "desires" you so much.

One thing that is bugging me about it though is that he has said in every interview that this woman won't be able to recognise herself in the content, and yet he claims that Baby Reindeer is the nickname his IRL stalker gave him. To me, that is a pretty surefire way to guarantee that the only person int he world that called you Baby Reindeer in your life is going to remember calling you that?

I didn’t buy the zero self esteem thing. I’d guess he gave her a lot more crumbs of encouragement and made jokes at her expense many more times than were mentioned.
He doesn’t seem likeable and very canny in monetising the whole shit show. I found the end scene alluding to him now being the predator naff as fuck. Was more ITV shit telly than the reviews would have you think.
Wish I hadn’t bothered.

My son told me earlier that she has been found online already from old tweets, her names Fiona Harvey. They've also found the guy who raped him.

I've just started watching. I'm on Episode 3 now and I am really glad he wrote it in the way he did; as a representation of a mental illness

I'm assuming you mean her mental illness. However, I feel it came across that there was very much a mental health problem on his part, too. Except he doesn't appear to address that at all.

I've just finished it, and while I get that people do go back to their abusers, as a PP has just said, I don't buy that this was 'just' low self esteem. He doesn't come across as a likeable person at all, and his initial (rather unsuccessful) style of comedy was extremely odd, to say the least.

Have you seen her Facebook account, she hasn't changed at all! 🙈

Richard said he made her character unrecognised for privacy reasons but she is literally the same In. Every. Way.

Looks, writing style, scottish, the sort of things she comes out with.

The character who played the rapist is also a dead ringer for the guy who has been found and alleged to be him.

Madness.

@BlackFriYay

I haven't got Facebook but my son showed me earlier a tweet to him saying .. "Need my curtains hung"
She's going to get bombarded with crap now she's been outed which is ironic.
I've just seen on Instagram he is asking people to not accuse the guy who assaulted him. He's said nothing about her though.

This is really bizarre and I'm questioning his motives behind the whole thing, now.

Nowts been changed. Has he done this deliberately? And for him to say that he's made her unrecognisable is clearly a lie. It's a bit fucked up, to me.

@RainbowZebraWarrior how have people found her Facebook page? Has her name been made public? I have so many questions!

Sadly, there's a direct link on a Reddit thread.

I found the end scene alluding to him now being the predator naff as fuck
It wasn't alluding to that.
It was making the point that what happened to him could have happened to any bartender, randomly.
That you do just one act of kindness, drink's on the house, and that one action can have a ripple effect.

It does look like she's (still) a very unwell woman and extremely racist to boot.

Are we sure it's actually them?

My DH received a lot of messages about it from people who were aware that he had had a public argument online with the outed woman before. My first response was that it couldn't be the Baby Reindeer woman, because RG said he changed the details, including appearances. If that's true then it can't be her as too much is the same, and it's possibly just an unlucky coincidence that someone fits the bill.

But yeah, maybe he lied and didn't make those changes. As I said in my previous comment, this man has poor boundaries and making the show is no exception to that. If it is her, and he hasn't changed those details, then I think that would demonstrate that he himself is a dangerous individual.

I think it's possible that the woman who has been 'outed' isn't 'Martha' but someone he has used to base most of the rewriting of her character on. She is a troubled odd bod from Camden who used to drink at the Hawley Arms. If she is indeed the 'real' 'Martha' then I'm sure she'd have been posting non stop about it on her social media on which she is extremely active.

But yeah, maybe he lied and didn't make those changes. As I said in my previous comment, this man has poor boundaries and making the show is no exception to that. If it is her, and he hasn't changed those details, then I think that would demonstrate that he himself is a dangerous individual.

Agree.

The way I see it, if he's made his rapist easy to identify (and has had to go on record asking people not to go for him) then he's done exactly the same bloody thing with his female stalker.

Very dangerous game to play. I'd go so far as to say that the man seems to be addicted / attracted to danger, though.

Even if he's just used this woman from Facebook / Twitter as his 'muse' here, then he's left her wide open to be found, too. Which is worse, if she's totally innocent.

Changed details my fucking arse.

I'm quite sure the woman who used to drink in the Hawley is the right person.

She was found by somebody uncovering tweets she made to Richard circa 2014-2015, including tweets talking about him "hanging her curtains" which is a theme in the series.

Edited to add - its clear from her most recent Facebook posts that she's being contacted by multiple people about all of this as she's writing about being harassed by 'gay men and transsexuals'

There is a restraining order in place though isn't there? It's possible that the conditions include online behaviour, given how so much of the harassment took place over the Internet.

I think posting about him could be seen as breaching that.

Regarding the Facebook profile which is meant to be the stalker:

I'd be amazed if she doesn't get charged with hate speech or something, all the racist bile on her very public page.

I wonder if she has seen or heard of Baby Reindeer? Given that she's so opinionated about everything else - weird that she hasn't mentioned it?

It was a 5 year restraining order, I think. I don't know when that runs out.

There were 50 posts a day sometimes on twitter. Also has a hatred of Nicola Sturgeon and Jeremy Corbyn. I don't think the twitter has been posted on for a few years, though. Not sure if the FB stuff is up to date

I'm astounded at what she gets away with posting too.

Racism, homophobia, accusing every employee of the Hawley pub of being rapists of teenagers and gay. She was even accusing the late Derek Draper of being a rent boy. Disgusting.

I don't think she should be on social media. Hopefully Facebook bans her.