MAFS UK is a coming - and probably sponsored by pommiebears

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Be still my gnarly black heart. Love fest ‘coming soon’.

Get your pouts ready for the ‘gram and your flags at the ready 🇬🇧

I forgot to apply. But no doubt that will be a relief for the Producers.

There ain’t enough satin in the world to cover this harris.

And the veil could never hide my face well enough to stop my groom doing a Julia Roberts.

Maybe next time….

What a great first ep! Already some drama. 😁

Whitney is awful. I feel bad for what she's been through but my god... if I took a shot every time she rolled her eyes I would have passed out. Her slow drowsy voice is insufferable, and the way she scoffed at Duka being only 6'2''! Definitely the Nikita of this season. I think Duka's lovely even if he is a bit of a lad.

Chanita and Jordan are both lovely, could they be this season's Tayah and Adam?

I agree I wish they had some more natural, normal looking people on the show, and more diversity in age range. Half the men look identical.

Like Duka, I was giving Whitney a LOT of lee way for being plain rude, unfriendly & bitchy on account of her meter thick walls of defense due to her mum's death etc... until she and her best friend were taking the piss out of his name to the point of coming across as the bullies he was telling her about... That was too far for me.

I really like Chanita so far. She seems like a good soul, and it seems like Jordan is too.
Hope they work out but agree with a PP, might just end up as friends if the chemistry isn't there.

I just imagined it if was the other way around, would he have been screamed at for being racist?

Whitney is so rude, I felt so sorry for Duka’s family having to watch that. I really liked the other couple from Darlo tho! Although on the preview of the series she was shouting about another wife slagging her off so that’ll be interesting!

April who is getting married to the bloke with all the kids tonight has been around the reality tv circuit a while, sure I’ve seen her on celebs go dating with Callum Best and maybe ex on the beach too.

Oy oy saveloy.

God help me but Thomas is not only going to get on my tits but make me want to rip them off so he can’t get on them in the first place.Bought brows and teeth - never gonna look like yer mamma gave ‘em tae ye.
And they’re that rigid ye ain’t ever gonna shake ‘em.

Tit tape is not sponsored by Irn Bru clearly.

It looks as though theirs is made from plastic straws not girders.
Brassieres people. Brassieres.
Miss Mary is waiting for your call.
The dialling code is 0046…

Folk make assumptions about Whitney being cold, arrogant, bitchy etc? I don’t normally follow a crowd but shit, I’m marching alongside.

The only one I’ve warmed to at the moment is Zoe.
And on first peep at the blokes?
She is preferable.

Loving that the ‘intricate art of matchmaking started months ago’. Aye. Sure they did so.

And yet once again there isn’t a ‘normal’ unInstagrammy soul among them.

I like Chanita on first view. There’s a porters worth of baggage with her though. I hope Jordan is decent.

Duka seems ok too. Wtaf did they match him with her for? I want to give her leeway cos of her mam.

I can’t.

The expert is already worried about fireworks. No shit.

I was most unkeen on the sneery bastard coupon. I would have been horrified if he were my son. I would have interrupted. She is a fud.

And those who know me know I hate that word with a passion. But she is.

I want to have hope for Jordan and Chanita. I do.

So according to the ixperts, children from single parent families have a lot in common and are a match.

As for Duka and Whit? (Whit is scottish for ?????????? So fitting I suppose.

Although Wtafney is more apt.
The bullied and the bully.
The hours will fucking fly by…

What I loved about Jordan and Chanita Is that they have bantz and laffz but she supported him when he was cracking. I got a bit teary at that.

Wtafney and Duka?
I’m seeing why some favoured scolds’ bridles back in the day. You may have a fear of loss hen but carry on the way you are?

You will never have anything or anyone to lose.

I have judged. And therefore I will probably be wrong! I think not.

She said her dog doesn’t get to share her bed.

I’m back judging again.
Fud.

Yes I thought I recognised April too!

See he got his way with Norn Irn then?

And Mog still grips my shit more than immodium.

Well, her and Jord. Ew.

I hate the ‘shave my whole head and leave a crest on the top’ fashion.

Like cockatiels. Just no atiel.

Placemarking, just catching up on last night's opener now, while Mr Syrah sits with his head in his hands, having only just got over tolerating 8 weeks of Love Island. Oops.

I'm only 10 minutes in but it feels like they've scraped the bottom of the wanna-be barrel with this lot. Open to being proved wrong, suspect I won't be.

Well so far Whitney's rubbed me QUITE the wrong way. Her loss is very sad and her boundaries understandable but neither is an excuse for being an arsehole acting like she's been forced into this situation completely against her will.

Haven't quite grasped their names but I like the couple who had a cuddle when he was sad about his Nana

So, am I right in thinking we have Mr 4 kids with whoever and the gay male couple tonight?

Sometimes I feel like I don't recognise these kinds of participants as actual, recognisable human beings, as I've never come across people like this in my real life. Same with pp on Love Island, Naked Attraction, BB, First Dates. WHERE do they get these people from?? Granted, I'm in my 50s, so maybe it's an age thing...?

Ooh exciting! I'm just about to catch up on last night's opening episode - I was on the MAFSA threads for the season with the twins/Cheryl/Jonesy/Alene, and the one with Ines/Heidi/Jules and Cameron, and all the comments on here absolutely made the show for me 😁

Ih dear Whit!

Dont tell us, it's the editing!! She's really a lovely person

See appalonia. I feel the same and I’m ages with you.

I look at the Insta faces and don’t recognise humans.

On Naked Attraction? I look at all the shaven areas (used to be havens back in the day) and think ‘oooh you’ll need to exfoliate as you are just asking for ingrown hairs’.

I hear them being described as growlers by the Towie lot. I’d be growling too. They look spotty and sore. And not Insta. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d have forgiven Wtafney her snidey vows more if it was just her and the beau.

To be so openly sneery in front of his loved ones was a shite move.

And another thing, I'd be absolutely MORTIFIED to come across as badly as some of these participants have, but they don't seem to care, why is that?

Whitney should have sought help for her grief privately

Going on reality tv and dragging a poor stranger into her shitty life is not appropriate

Eek- Masterchef or MAFS?? Stupid schedulers…

Mr Liverpool is very.... Liverpool, isn't he?

Not Turkey teef.

Thems toxteth teeth.

How sad to have had all that work done at 31 :(

Her needs to move cities cos he’s done Manchester?

And Dallas.

April is not floating ma boat. I don’t recognise her.

Jeesus though. Dave Grohl could batter out a tune on her coupon it is that tight.

I’m guessing her wedding frock should knock it out the park.

Ha, i can’t even get to a first date never mind a 4th! No hope…