MAFS UK is a coming - and probably sponsored by pommiebears

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Be still my gnarly black heart. Love fest ‘coming soon’.

Get your pouts ready for the ‘gram and your flags at the ready 🇬🇧

I forgot to apply. But no doubt that will be a relief for the Producers.

There ain’t enough satin in the world to cover this harris.

And the veil could never hide my face well enough to stop my groom doing a Julia Roberts.

Maybe next time….

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

To


follow the unicorn droppings

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

You want

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

you know

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Pecky kissies

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Down for

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Throwing crumbs

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Just too bastard slow at typing tits while seeing to the folks’ tea to spot you are quicker on the baw 🤣

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

@TitsInAbsentia

Darling tits - for once I’m on the baw

earth calling Orson come in Orson

[dapsnotplimsolls]

Avoid

[dapsnotplimsolls]

To

[dapsnotplimsolls]

Thread

[TitsInAbsentia]

Ooops found the new one! www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/4628396-mafsuk7-ready-for-the-dinner-party-are-you-fuccchhhhhhhh-no-spoilers-hints-or-veiled-threats-of-same-please-punishment-for-that-is-pecky-kissies

[dapsnotplimsolls]

The

[dapsnotplimsolls]

Filling up

[dapsnotplimsolls]

Just

[TitsInAbsentia]

How are the ixperts still getting paid for this friend zoned at first sight stuff? Is it because although their ability to match is the same as Jess's ability to smile (ie non existent...and possibly not just due to being fullafiller) their ability to line us up for big ole sparks at the dinner parties is like Kasia's frontage...full on fall out maximus carnagus?!

ps @SheldonesqueTheBstard my little treacle we'll be needing a new thread so-hooon!

[TitsInAbsentia]

@MrsToothyBitch

Lara's ick is palpable! Although who ever thought setting someone with real adult responsibilities with punky Peter Pan was a good idea was way off mark. Maybe so mummy can look after him? He seems to think Lara will now.

I also went right off Jenna after the guilt trip she fed Zoe for breakfast.

Punky Peter Pan 😂 but nay my toothy friend, you are being too kind..she was on that cart ride being death gripped (and bird pecked) by Roy Cropper!

[HappyPeach]

I see Morag's cashing in on the new series with an article in the Daily Fail about her Onlyfans & love of stripping off.

[bibliomania]

I'm glad Zoe wasn't intimidated into ordering the vegan meal. I had an ex who tried to stop me eating a particular food because he didn't eat it, and it was part of a bigger picture where he didn't respect my autonomy.

[PollyDarton1]

Love Zoe. Jenna's stank face when she was eating breakfast was hilarious, and the Zoe ordering the lamb. I mean ffs, Zoe's been really clear about how she's not converting. Stop it already.

I don't mind Jess. I think she just doesn't fancy PJay and wants to, but hasn't got there yet.

Ritchie gave me the ick. Reminded me of my first boyfriend at 16. I think Lara needs to be a little more authoritative rather than taking a back seat and letting him think it's okay.

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

And for those of a nervous disposition (as I was after pressing a link involving butter and dragon many moons ago here)

linky to new thread

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

It is getting to that time again.

press me to find KwaMe’s unicorn

[oxydant]

@HappyPeach

Can we make any guesses who might swap to be with who?

Also, are we going to have extra married couples halfway through do you think?

My friend knows someone going in, he's not on yet, so assume they'll be more weddings /swaps

[Iamthewombat]

Lara actually pushed Richie off her at one point. Politely, but that’s what she did. I empathised, that’s what I’d have done too!

When we first ‘met’ Richie he was waffling on about having had years of sex & drugs & rock & roll and he couldn’t remember all of it blah blah. I wonder whether he was bullshitting? He behaves like a 14 year old who has just got his first girlfriend.

I looked up the Wikipedia entry for his former band, ‘Dare’, and he is barely mentioned. Almost as if he was effectively a session musician.

[tellyiscrap]

@PugInTheHouse

Lara definitely needed someone more mature, someone to look after her rather than the other way round.

I really felt for her last night when she broke down a little - she's had 2 failed marriages - suggested that one of her children can be a challenge - that seemed to be a very honest " please can someone look after me for a change " plea - while he sat there openly admitting to looking forward to sitting back , relaxing while thinking" Lara has got this "

I'd have had to punch him in his balls just to get him off me .. holding hands ? No that was more like suffocating constant groping , and poor thing couldn't even tell , don't think he means to be a twat- it just seems to come naturally ..
could have been worse - imagine him with Whitney 😂