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Telly addicts

Real Housewives of Jersey....anyone watching?

272 replies

JustAGirlFromHoe · 30/12/2020 10:56

Having lived in Jersey for 26 years, I’m loving the way the island is being shown but OMG the women are just cringe!

Thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
rockingthelook · 15/01/2021 20:45

When I watched Kate turn up to the party I thought she was awful, but actually quite nice, when they were at the dinner party and she asked Tessa out for a coffee I really felt sorry for her, Tessa was so condescending, Kate looked hurt , not nice Tessa! However Tessa wearing a summer dress with black leather over the knee boots, laughable, was she going river fishing afterwards ?

FredaFox · 16/01/2021 10:28

I’ve given in and started watching, I’m too curious after your posts and I’ve seen the hideous Hartmanns in TikTok etc

So far my observations are the housewives are not as polished as other series
Also they are all older (or don’t have as much work done as the others!) apart from Kate and her ridiculous boobs. Their style is a bit dated

Hartmanns are awful. Poor Johnny and that cake, and I noticed they all got a memo to wear white 🙄

AlwaysReadyForABlether · 21/01/2021 10:06

I've just looked at Tessa's Instagram and she's posted to confirm that Sascha is actually 51 which makes a lot more sense

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 30/01/2021 15:48

Found you. Binge watched from start to up to date this morning.

Mags acts like a smiling assassin arsehole. You are my acquaintance not my friend. Not so much honest as brutal. And cutting. Man that tongue is sharp. And bloody hypocritical making Tessa be pals with Kate when Tessa found her too weird. She did shut her up. Just because you’ve been in Jersey for the same length of time as the Lido doesn’t make you boss. She’s feckin nippier than Wee Nippy.

It’s a shame her feckin tongue isn’t as smooth as her face. Ahem.

Hedi. Not Lamarr if that is what she is going for. Sofarr away from that. Aw fur coat, nae draaaars as we say up here. Getting all sniffy about Jane when she is the same but with elocution lessons and more creative words. I feel that she has inserted one too many crystals. She needs to hoik one out to shit stir with instead of a spoon.

Kate. Bless her. She’d do my nut in. But I think there is a lovely heart in there. I would be fine in her company. I’m one for living in the shadows. Plenty of them with her wallopers.

Jane. I don’t think she’s a bad egg. It would be nice if she kept her chebs in her frock. It is a bit unseemly. As is some of the conversation. But they all speak in innuendos and filth - however you want to dress it up. It isn’t just Jane. I’d make up with mags but on a superficial level. She’d get the side eye from me for ever more.

Ashley. I suspect not the ingenue she’s making on.

Mia. I’m not fashionable. Far from it. But what a sotter she looked in that editorial. She looked like Bojo’s sister - the one who spends more time in the drinks cabinet than the actual one. She also plays the ingenue but she isn’t that feckin innocent. She shit stirs quite beautifully. And she looked like Carol Smillie’s bitter older sister (who s auditioned first for wheel of fortune and didn’t get it) in that wig.

And she digs bigger holes for herself than my old dog did.

I’m not counting families. Or their fame quest. On the strength of this programme, I think tessa is ok. She hasn’t been as questionable as the rest of them. yet

I think she is the only one I could sit down for a quiet brew with to chew the fat.

The art isn’t my bag. I’m more of an impressionists kind of gal. I didn’t dig the gallery art either. But if we were all the same it would be rubbish.

Hello maireas - not stalking you. Honest. Wink

Jersey is the star here. My auld granda used to go for his holidays. I want to go to walk in his footsteps and hopefully feel him walk alongside me so that I can see through his eyes. He used to speak of it with such fondness.

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 30/01/2021 15:54

She hasn’t been as questionable as the rest of them yet

Apart from the exploding breast cake.

How the lad didn’t turn itself inside out with the cringe I’ll never know. And dad with ‘the doll’ comment.

I’d be welcoming boarding school!

We are far north though and you don’t speak about such things with your folks. Not without getting a bar of sunlight soap rammed in your coupon. 🧼

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 30/01/2021 16:02

Have changed my mind.

Just seen the anniversary cake. Christ. How would you slice that up???? ConfusedShock

Kate? Fancy a brew or a cocktail Chuck? Wink

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 30/01/2021 16:11

Sex tape?

I’ve changed my mind. (Catching up with the comments!)

Kate you are still invited but I would also like to ask the locals on here - I’m finding the insider comments fascinating! Thank you!

Maireas · 30/01/2021 22:02

@SheldonesqueIsUnwell - hello my friend!
You are very naughty, but on the money! Those posts have made me hoot!
Goodness, they're a collection, aren't they?!

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 30/01/2021 22:59

maireas

Hello my friend! Hope you are fine. All good here. But I’m kind of glad I am not in Jersey with these ladies.

It would be completely different of course should it be mumsnetters from Jersey. We’d all be there in a shot. They sound grand.

We’d know them because they’d either have their ears to the ground or they’d look smug with all the insider info they have.

It might be hard to know if folk are smug naturally, are smug with knowledge or smug because they’re minted though. Or a combination thereof.

Or ears to the ground because they’re hammered on very swish cocktails and can’t get up.

I don’t think I’ve thought this through. Grin Wink

Maireas · 30/01/2021 23:03

Well, all that high living must get a bit stressful. Botox doesn't inject itself... I'm glad I've found you, I miss your observations! xx

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 30/01/2021 23:14

botox doesnt inject itself genius 🤣

I’ve missed your observations too x

I’m always here somewhere. I have been an absolute gobshite a prolific poster on the married at first sight threads.

Do NOT fall down that wormhole. It appears to be more scripted than Corrie Angry

I’ve also been a bit mouthy on the sliding on ice thread. I will take the shame BlushWink

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 04/02/2021 18:54

These ladies have no idea how Real Housewives dinner parties are supposed to go.

The genteel argument was lacking.

No eyes clawed out, no flounces, nowt.

If Mia has someone’s epitaph permanently embedded in her arse that is on her.

Looking at next week’s trailer? She was far from victimised. Mags is a stirring fud.

Lynnecaron · 04/02/2021 20:16

Won't be watching this tack. Why do they feel the need. And, Jane is absolutely crazy. Don't mean funny crazy, loony crazy!!!!! Believe me I know

Lynnecaron · 04/02/2021 21:10

Jane is totally crazy. Not crazy in a light hearted way. She really is stark raving crazy.

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 04/02/2021 21:10

How so?

ImInStealthMode · 05/02/2021 20:56

Hello all! Just checking in, not much insider info to report, aside from some of the ladies sliding into the DMs of the podcast hosts, and me still begging Ollie for a guest spot, alas no joy so far and they're recording commentary on episode 7 tonight Sad

I'm venturing into town for the first time in eons tomorrow. Will report back if I see any Housewives in the flesh.

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 05/02/2021 21:13

Not a surprise I feel cocker ...

ImInStealthMode · 05/02/2021 21:57

[quote misscockerspaniel]www.itv.com/news/channel/2021-02-03/id-love-a-spin-off-show-with-my-family-says-real-housewives-tessa-hartmann[/quote]
'Many fans' have contacted her looking for a spin-off of the frankly awkward, boring & clumsy scenes of her family? Ok Tessa... HmmHmmHmm

Lynnecaron · 06/02/2021 16:59

Where would I start. Dont be taken in.

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 06/02/2021 20:29

Oh that is too vague Grin

Lynnecaron · 07/02/2021 12:18

You obviously want some dirt dishing out. Too much of a long story, but, her, alledged, fiance should run, as fast as he can!!

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 07/02/2021 14:07

Fair doos.

But he is clearly liking summat after 6 odd years. Wink

Lynnecaron · 07/02/2021 15:53

Not like it that much that he has divorced his wife. A good business arrangement. At least his wife (or partner, as she gets called) hasen't been "tacky" enough to go to the media. Good on her

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 08/02/2021 15:09

A business arrangement? Why do I want to say arrangemente in the style of Bubbles DeVere? 🤷‍♀️

Anyway. I wouldn’t like it - current squeeze or ex.

Each to their own I suppose.