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Telly addicts

Anyone watching Nigella rustling up stuff 'the Express Way'?

143 replies

PestoPumpkinMonster · 08/10/2007 20:35

The breakfast she's starting with doesn't look exactly speeedy to me

OP posts:
blousy · 09/10/2007 20:17

Newgirl - it's actually shot in a warehouse in London that Nigella owns. Just all dolled up to look like a kitchen. Lots of the shots are fake, like the bus journeys (as if!). The crew hired a bus and extras to be passengers.

crunchie · 09/10/2007 20:27

Nigella is great I won't hear a word against her!!

Piffle · 09/10/2007 20:39

i watched it and actually thought it was Ronnie Ancona...
then I thought shit she's not as good at copying Nigella as she usally is, she has gone WAY over the top...
I rest mi lord

Jennster · 09/10/2007 21:08

But when she sneaked back to the fridge we were both screaming at the screen, CLOSE THE EFFING FRIDGE DOOR.

newgirl · 10/10/2007 10:19

i wonder if i can go and live in the warehouse

MERLYPUSS · 10/10/2007 17:17

I like the look of some of the recipes but I think she is a deranged TWAT. All that eye rolling and smugness.
Give me a break!!!!!

UnquietDad · 10/10/2007 17:27

She obviously lives in one of those places with "washing up fairies" as mentioned on here the other day. A.k.a little 'woman who does' employed for her by Charlie.

I don't believe for a second that she actually makes all this stuff. Especially at weekends. I bet it's all done by her servants/nanny while she has a lie-in/rampant sex with Charlie-boy.

I loved the surly-little-bitch expression on the part of her very reluctant duaghter as she was being dragged down the street to school (when they "just happened to pass" the trendy little bakery...) And she looked as if she was dragging her by the wrist! That girl's got a real "daddy, I want a pony" look about her.

Raahh · 10/10/2007 17:30

i have been trying to get 'ladely ladely ho' into conversation since monday....

love you, nigella, but you are clearly barking....

and does any one else think she is secretly like the fern britton ryvita minis ad- and puts on the 'big' nigella suit, cos it makes people feel she's more 'normal'????

She's really a size zero....

UnquietDad · 10/10/2007 20:49

Yo yo yo, she's da ladley ho,
Xpressin in da kitchen wiv da food to go,
Da chick wiv da peas an' da pussy wiv da Pussyfoot,
See what she's got cookin an she'll show ya what she got.

Nigell-a
Nigell-a
I wanna be ya fell-a
Wake me up in da mornin' wiv ya on-da-go brunch
Do me da brushcetta for da workin' lunch.

Jennster · 10/10/2007 21:07

LOL unquietdad

Katisha · 10/10/2007 21:24

Let's have the second verse UQD!
Can you get the squiddies in?

ThierryJT · 11/10/2007 00:40

All,

Thanks for this thread, it's had me in stitches! Have just registered with mumsnet to add my tuppence worth (Hope I'm worthy!).

"This [blueberry] sauce is a great way to get kids eating fruit...no added sugar..."

Too bloody right it's a good way - what exactly do you think is in the half gallon of maple syrup - potty mare??

DW and I did the aural double take on that one.

UNBELIEVABLE.

daydreambeliever · 11/10/2007 02:10

Oh, I didnt know there was a TV show for this....I bought the book 'Nigella Express' last week for half price in waterstones....oh no, is the show really bad....DH and I are obsessed with the book, turning down the pages marking things we want to make...have done a roast chicken with brandy and bacon so far, it was great......Id better not watch the programme, might spoil all the fun we're having, or are planning to have, I mean the breakfast section is a bit silly really but I do think the rest of the book is good, I have had it up to here with cook books where the list of ingredients takes days of opportunistic scavenging to find everything, then the bloody preparing part just goes on and on, add this, chop that, blend this, make a white sauce, take the this out of the pan and put the that into thhe same pan....oh, bugger off. No, I like this book. It may very wel be the case that everyone else can think for themselves on how to throw a can of whatever onto whatever and make it taste nice....but I cant, I need to be told what to thrown onto what. Preferably in a way that doesnt involve 2 hours of messing.

Hmm, doesnt sound like she comes across very well. They should film me making the lot instead, I will move into her warehouse and inherit her elves and her nigella bus. I will have the bus stop too. I will ramp it up a notch by carving and eating a whole roast chicken, whilst driving the bus and taking passengers fares. Noodles!!! Too easy!!!

ladelyho · 11/10/2007 17:48

o.k, so in terms of 'express' food, Nigella clearly hasn't a clue- Gordon Ramsays last 'f' word series did it so much better (and for 'normal' people)- BUT for sheer entertainment value, it has become the funniest half hour of the week....

dizzydo · 15/10/2007 17:48

cant wait for tonight.... and then a read of this thread afterwards. Great stuff!

Tanee58 · 15/10/2007 17:53

BOTH of our TVs have broken down - waiting to borrow a friend's tomorrow. I MISS laughing at Nigella, haven't been able to watch her for three weeks! Will have to keep up with this thread to feed my addiction.

PestoPumpkinMonster · 15/10/2007 20:34

She's off!!

OP posts:
piggywiggy · 15/10/2007 21:34

"Dibble dabble a bit of water"...and what was express about the chicken pie and the chocolate chip cookies?
And the fake friend whose boyfriend had dumped her?
Dh is watching the recording - just heard him chuckle "She gets up in the middle of the night to make French toast?" - yeah, and in a warehouse.
Best comedy programme on the box imo.

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 15/10/2007 21:41

Twas a classic wasn't it. Shelf stroking and purring "uuuuhhh, I so need this..." into bowl of french toast ingredients, in the radiance of the twinkling white fairy lights whilst wearing a black satin negligee.. in the "dead of night".

Don't think kitchen porn is affecting DH quite how the producers intended. He said "Ah, nocturnal snacking, that's why she has such bloody fat thighs..."

ivykaty44 · 15/10/2007 21:44

There was no bus stop clip tonight

Lilymaid · 15/10/2007 21:48

Ragu with pancetta and lamb mince and she doesn't skim the fat off (must be at least 25% fat in that ragu). I couldn't view the rest as my cholesterol count probably just goes up watching!

gigglewitch · 15/10/2007 21:54

all too "staged" imo. she pops up in bed, in black satin thing, ooohh i'll just go cooking (coincidence about the camera crew eh?)

yeah right. too twee for me.

PeachesMcLean · 15/10/2007 21:55

"I've got a deadline"

So why've you got the camera crew round????

Sooooo contrived.

ThierryJT · 15/10/2007 23:14

Hmm, the French toast/Dounut bit.

Something tells me that getting between Nigella and a good feed is a rater bad idea - maybe it's those slightly derranged eyes.

Also:

G&B Cocoa from a petrol station? Not round here luv.

Should I be spending a half hour on my life watching? (If the DW makes those cookies I suppose).

cremolafoam · 15/10/2007 23:25

if i put on the bloody magimix in the middle of the night i'd be issued with a noise abatement order by the council.