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MAFS - Strictly Come DARVO - who will be gaslighting who tonight?

999 replies

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/09/2020 19:46

Sorry - miserable title, but I just noticed we were nearly out of thread.

OP posts:
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Eaumyword · 03/09/2020 22:49

Yes to Nasser's act dropping. I never thought he was attractive personally (although we all like different things of course) and when I first saw him, I thought Liberace and then Joe Pesci from Goodfellas. Unfortunately that menace/temper is really coming to the fore now that he feels he has been embarrassed by Gabrielle at the commitment ceremony.
No wonder she's been tearful - I wonder if he had shown her this side of him off camera.
Couldn't believe he flounced and then returned to flounce some more Shock

Destinysdaughter · 03/09/2020 22:55

Nasser's stubbornness so reminded me of my ex who was incapable of compromise and was really selfish. Wasn't like it in the beginning tho of course! This program has been really useful for me, seeing what the women will/won't put up with as I'm often a bit of a doormat in relationships. I need to be more like Ashley! Grin

Italiangreyhound · 03/09/2020 23:01

SchadenfreudePersonified

"I can't understand Tracey's parents being so "understanding".If that git had treated my DD like that I would have painted the walls with his life\s blood!

It was the same with her friends - they obviously didn't like him, but accepted her excuses for his behaviour."

I wonder if the presence of the presence of cameras makes people unusually polite.

riotlady · 03/09/2020 23:14

Omg I was absolutely dying at Ashley’s dad awkwardly standing there while they had their row.

Think I might be in love with Telv

GlummyMcGlummerson · 03/09/2020 23:19

Lol yes riotlady that was a man who didn't wanna be there!

I'm surprised Gabrielle is a "plus sized" model, she's slim!

Honeyroar · 03/09/2020 23:20

“That was a man that didn’t want to be there” I initially thought you were talking about Me Whippy being told he might have to have sex!

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 04/09/2020 00:17

Also, subtitles describe Troy's laugh as "Troy cackles" That made me really laugh.

Oh that’s hilarious 😂 Not sure they’d have words to describe NPJohn’s weird laughter...

Italiangreyhound · 04/09/2020 02:10

I am horrified that Tracey's parents were so accepting, the mum said 'these things are going to happen' I think. But they did not happen last season and they did not happen to any other couples this season!

Oh Carly, you should not have to talk him into wanting to sleep with you!

Patrick and Charlene are so great.

Nasser is horrible. Gabrielle is better without him.

Telv is amazing. He was so lovely at the Op shop or whatever that place was.

Is it just me or can I not fathom Ashley and Troy at all!

Inmybackyard · 04/09/2020 07:11

Tracey’s behaviour makes a lot more sense when you see her parents, both biological and adopted.

I read Nasser’s open letter that was posted up-thread. Now we know he’s the devil I don’t think it’s breaking the rules to talk about his reference to Gab’s wig and implication that’s why he didn’t want to sleep with her?! Poor woman deserved so much better. The one saving grace is, like everyone, I feel validated in my gut instincts.

I cracked last night and googled... Biscuit

SpanishFly · 04/09/2020 07:21

I've just remembered something that happened at Grooms' homestay that I meant to mention at the time but, you know, real life distracted me and I forgot.

When Nasser was obsessively sweeping the floor, he kept saying "there's a hair, that's your hair, oh there's another one of your hairs." I thought that was totally shocking, given Gab's issues with her alopecia 😡

TheLittleRedToothbrush · 04/09/2020 07:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NowYouListenToMeFella · 04/09/2020 08:46

@Itslookinglikeabeautifulday

Also, subtitles describe Troy's laugh as "Troy cackles" That made me really laugh.

Oh that’s hilarious 😂 Not sure they’d have words to describe NPJohn’s weird laughter...

I would like to think it would be 'John brays'.

Poor Gab. Nasser really is nasty. He was too good to be true. She just looks so sad all the time. Hopefully she won't bother going back to their apartment after the home stay.

There is no saving Tracey. She just doesn't want to see or hear it. Perhaps her friends and family have seen this sort of shit show before and know there is no point in pointing out the crap treatment.

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 04/09/2020 08:52

Nasser has been such a disappointment. I actually think it was really cruel to have him on when his OCD clearly has control of him. He cannot deal with anything being not as expected, and expects everyone to behave how he wants them to.

Damnit, we were so right with our first impressions of him, but we let him talk us round like some kind of Tracey.

I blame his lovely friends. They were so nice and supportive; I couldn’t see how he would get such great friends if he was an arsehole. Then I remembered that he’s in the music business and in every group there has to be one egomaniac who everyone else puts up with. They were probably really excited about him having another focus so they could spend less time on the Nasser show!

Tracey is so disappointing. This is not female empowerment!

Telv and Sarah are the winning couple so far! She’s a bit controlling, but he’s so enamoured that he’s more than happy to have his life organised. She is a born matriarch.

@Eaumyword I love your ode to Justin!

Dh (who is obviously still not watching at all and has no interest) said way back at the beginning that he thought Justin was there to advertise himself on camera for a gold-digger, not to meet someone on the show. I think he’s just desperate for his business to get free advertising - why else would you take your new wife to your boring office?

Carly needs to leave. Tracey needs to leave. Nasser needs to sod off. Gabrielle needs to leave.

I reckon Tracey and Dean will stay to the bitter end and he’ll dump her once the cameras are off. The weakest of all endings.

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 04/09/2020 08:53

I just don’t know what to think of Ash and Troy anymore. They were my favourites.

Someone tell me what to think please.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 04/09/2020 08:55

I am horrified that Tracey's parents were so accepting, the mum said 'these things are going to happen' I think. But they did not happen last season and they did not happen to any other couples this season

And Tracey was all "people just leave so easily these days at the first sign of trouble" and her parents strongly agreed that that was a Bad Thing To Do.
Which makes me think she's been raised to be a woman who 'stands by her man'.
I personally think it's great that people leave at the first sign of trouble - because the "first sign" of a cheater, abuser, violent partner etc is NEVER the "last sign".

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 04/09/2020 09:04

@GlummyMcGlummerson

I am horrified that Tracey's parents were so accepting, the mum said 'these things are going to happen' I think. But they did not happen last season and they did not happen to any other couples this season

And Tracey was all "people just leave so easily these days at the first sign of trouble" and her parents strongly agreed that that was a Bad Thing To Do.
Which makes me think she's been raised to be a woman who 'stands by her man'.
I personally think it's great that people leave at the first sign of trouble - because the "first sign" of a cheater, abuser, violent partner etc is NEVER the "last sign".

Yes! This nonsense is for minor arguments, not fundamental betrayals.

Tracey’s parents explain Tracey. I would have given him hell if I’d been them. It was horrible to see his smug face grinning, certain in the knowledge that everyone else was definitely overreacting to his slight indiscretion.

I’m looking forward to the final episode when they show Tracey just what he said and did!

Inmybackyard · 04/09/2020 09:08

Agreed. I don’t think Tracey’s family have “seen it all before” with her, I think they’re the source of the problem.

justasmalltownmum · 04/09/2020 09:11

When Dean said "Tracey's looks are not her best quality", then proceeded to sleep with her. Ergh what a D.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 04/09/2020 09:12

@justasmalltownmum

When Dean said "Tracey's looks are not her best quality", then proceeded to sleep with her. Ergh what a D.
When she watches this it will destroy her. She believes Dean is besotted with her
GlummyMcGlummerson · 04/09/2020 09:25

I noticed how Tracey's homestay she made the activity all about what Dean likes (shit rapping). She's one of those women who can't have a mind of her own, she shapes it to what "her man" likes.

But she did warn us about this in the first episode in a way, she wants to be a "little woman" doesn't she. I'm sure she thinks she's an empowered woman but there's feminists everywhere spinning in their graves over women like Tracey.

bibliomania · 04/09/2020 09:27

I didn't think Tracey's friends and parents were that bad. Maybe they know she's delighted to get a meaty storyline. I never had the sense that she felt as genuinely upset as Ryan. Looks to me like she was enjoying her Woman Betrayed storyline rather a lot.

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 04/09/2020 09:35

@bibliomania

I didn't think Tracey's friends and parents were that bad. Maybe they know she's delighted to get a meaty storyline. I never had the sense that she felt as genuinely upset as Ryan. Looks to me like she was enjoying her Woman Betrayed storyline rather a lot.
You could be right. Some people like to have something over their other half (like a betrayal) because it makes them feel like they have some power in an imbalanced relationship. But there is no way that Dean wants to be in a relationship with a challenging woman. He’s already started reacting to her bringing it up. Soon she won’t be allowed to. Then all she can do is wait for another chance to be the strong-forgiving-woman when he does it again and is temporarily sorry.

It’s a disastrous model for a functional relationship

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/09/2020 09:36

Couldn't believe he flounced and then returned to flounce some more

I know, Eau!

Couldn't just let sleeping dogs lie - he had to go back and try to give her another kick. He just ended up making himself look a prat.

I wonder if the presence of the presence of cameras makes people unusually polite.

Very possibly Italian - though I still wonder if they are worried she will go NC, and they won't be able to be there to pick up the pieces when he dumps her. (I could see her "giving up everything for the man she loves" and being too proud ("principled") to backtrack afterwards.

Not sure they’d have words to describe NPJohn’s weird laughter...

Hoots?

I read Nasser’s open letter that was posted up-thread. Now we know he’s the devil I don’t think it’s breaking the rules to talk about his reference to Gab’s wig and implication that’s why he didn’t want to sleep with her?! Poor .woman deserved so much better. The one saving grace is, like everyone, I feel validated in my gut instinct

He's just a self-promoting POS.

When Nasser was obsessively sweeping the floor, he kept saying "there's a hair, that's your hair, oh there's another one of your hairs." I thought that was totally shocking, given Gab's issues with her alopecia

I missed that - it must have been when I was sorting out a dog. What a g*t!

There is no saving Tracey. She just doesn't want to see or hear it. Perhaps her friends and family have seen this sort of shit show before and know there is no point in pointing out the crap treatment.

I think you could be right Fella - and probably they've seen this all before and just know it has to run its course.

I blame his lovely friends. They were so nice and supportive; I couldn’t see how he would get such great friends if he was an arsehole.

I was the same - I thought "They're all lovely - they wouldn't put up with him if he wasn't" I was wrong

Telv and Sarah are the winning couple so far! She’s a bit controlling, but he’s so enamoured that he’s more than happy to have his life organised. She is a born matriarch.

Dead right - and actually, I have no difficulty in one partner being bossy if the other is happy to be organised, and it doesn't slide into bullying.

I reckon Tracey and Dean will stay to the bitter end and he’ll dump her once the cameras are off. The weakest of all endings.

Yes to this, too. What a shame Sarah's parents weren't the ones who adopted Tracey - she could do with the support of the Poundland Kray Twins.

I just don’t know what to think of Ash and Troy anymore. They were my favourites. Someone tell me what to think please.

FWIW, I think she is genuine and is a lovely person. I think he is a bit of a Boris Alexander DePfeffel Johnson (Oh look at me I'm such a card and a bit mad but you have to love me). However, like the Other, he isn't nearly as stupid as he pretends, and has a streak of cruelty and misogyny a mile wide that he is cleverly exploiting, going back to the "I really don't understand what I've done . . . I was so nice to her . . . she treats me so badly . . . what have I done wrong?" every time it looks as though he is going to get called out on it.

His surface charm carries him through day-to-day interactions with people and only the ones who have to spend any length of time with him get a glimpse of the real malice below the veneer. If you don't have to live with him, you think he's lovely - so much fun and so charming - if you do have to live with him you find that this charm is kept for other people.

I think most of us have encountered at least one man like that in the course of our lives.

He's confusing and gaslighting her. When she tries to assert herself, other people are undermining her, because they haven't seen who he really is. I'd love to know what the response of Ashley's friends and family was the they saw the footage and how he mocks her about all the time. She's tried really hard - treating him like the amiable toddler he pretended to be at first, but then found herself becoming more and more frustrated because he PUSHES until he gets an adverse reaction. No matter how she tries to appear and work with him, he takes it another step further until she reacts and then it's "What have I done? I tried to do what she wanted . . . " And so on, ad infinitum.

He is just as nasty as Nasser and Thumbface, but in a different way.

I personally think it's great that people leave at the first sign of trouble - because the "first sign" of a cheater, abuser, violent partner etc is NEVER the "last sign

Yes! This nonsense is for minor arguments, not fundamental betrayals

Yes to these comments.

Tracey's parents are weak as water. I'll bet they've never stuck up for her at school, or against bullies, or even suggested that she should have more contact with her DD. (It's unusual for the mother to be the non-resident parent - or at least not to have 50-50 contact.)

She's a very sad girl.

OP posts:
Verdita73 · 04/09/2020 09:39

@GlummyMcGlummerson

Lol yes riotlady that was a man who didn't wanna be there!

I'm surprised Gabrielle is a "plus sized" model, she's slim!

I was surprised about Gabrielle being a “plus sized” model too .

Before I was able to really identify them I thought they were referring to Sarah , who is a beautician . I think she would make a much more realistic “plus size model”. Especially as she’s really beautiful , mainly because of her joyous character .

Not being a “petite woman” I’ve always felt somewhat annoyed when a so called “plus size” model is half my size .

Interesting at Sarah/Telv’s meeting with family . I noticed the really ‘Soprano - pony tailed’ brother wasn’t there . I know some lame excuse was given about him not being able to make it . I thought he was the least accepting brother of the relationship and wondered whether he’d refused to come or the production team wouldn’t let him because they thought he might kick off and spoil one of the few relationships that are apparently successful .

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 04/09/2020 09:46

However, like the Other, he isn't nearly as stupid as he pretends, and has a streak of cruelty and misogyny a mile wide that he is cleverly exploiting, going back to the "I really don't understand what I've done . . . I was so nice to her . . . she treats me so badly . . . what have I done wrong?" every time it looks as though he is going to get called out on it.

Schadenfreude I think that’s really astute. I’m not sure if I’m mishearing or not, but in the “sex” clip where she stormed off when he was talking to camera, two things stand out:-
First her account of what he said included loads of stuff not shown in the clip, where he was slagging her off, which he hasn’t disagreed with.
Secondly, as she left he turns to the crew and says something like, “Can you deal with that?”

I’m hoping I’ve misheard, but that sounds like his true self coming out, and then his weird begging her to come back was all orchestrated by the crew.

I like Ash a lot. She’s feisty and competitive and stunning. I wonder if she’s single because Australian men are dicks?