claire verity part 2

[Lorayn]

Too many bloody posts on the other one, I cant post!!!

Sue Gerhardt's book 'Why Love Matters: How affection shapes a baby's brain' is a fantastic book which CV evidently hasn't read - or if she has has dismissed as poppycock. I'd never let CV within 100ft of me if I had a newborn - in fact would go so far as to be armed with a rifle so I could take pot shots at the silly cow.

Particularly maddening is you just know she's going to get some big book deal out of this.

It is good practice for all individuals working with children have CRB checks but the responsibility for checking this rests with the employer.

I would second the need for a proof reader on her website... check out this sentence..

"Her own nephew was born extremely premature at just over a 1lb in weight and with the help of St.James Hospital Leeds and Harrogate District he has made a fantastic recovery and is now a normal healthy child because of the marvellous work hospitals like these do Claire is fund raising to help them buy the equipment they require."

Funny that all the photos on her website are of the same 2 babies -and where are the glowing recommendations from her 'celebrity' clients?
I think the's talking out of her fundamental orifice -I mean the people she's named up to yet don't have young babies anyway so aren't likely to say anything unless she's libelling them
She doesn't appear to have a nursing qualification and isn't registered as a nurse or midwife (under that name anyway)but I'm sure she uses the N word quite freely (unfortunately it's not illegal to claim to be a nurse -flipping well should be) and people will interpret that as meaning she is a trained paediatric nurse or something.
lisa x

there are spelling mistakes everywhere... i particularly like the parents who were installed with confidence. i think both of the tv parents are there, btw, rani is the name of the twins' mum.
i've watched ep3 btw. cv's kids are sleeping...
very odd, though, the twins have colicky pains and i'm guessing CV still won't let the parents pick them up. they're lying on their backs on the floor while their parents hover over them and CV sits in a chair.

my friend is a child psychologist and apparently her whole dept is up in arms. she did not shy away from using the term 'abusive' and predicting attachment disorders because of the no cuddling, no eye contact rulings.

I think this was the aspect which disturbed me the most, actually... the complete detachment process. No eye-contact, cuddles, cooing etc. That poor little girl who wasn't allowed to cuddle her baby sister

Kids need cuddles!!!
My ds is not even three yet and all he says to me every day about my pregnancy is that when new baby comes he is going to say 'Uddle yoooooooo' like he does to us every minute of the day. I for one will be allowing and embracing that first cuddle between DS and his younger sibling, as for DD (nearly 7) OMG she would've told CV right where to stick it, in a polite way of course, we have manners

i'm with you , Lorayn. Ds 'talked' to Dd all the time I was carrying her, ( via my belly button!) and when she was born he just adored her- bonding is something essential for the whole family, and especially siblings,as they may feel a bit sidelined. The fac t the cv family in the programe didn't allow the sister to cuddle her sister, and the CHILD questioned it, was the most telling thing about the whoe bloody programme , IMO.

DD was the same with DS, she used to sing to him and I swear he recognised her voice and the song, when he was a few weeks old he would go quiet and kind of look for her if she sang twinkle twinkle, she loves me to tell her about that now as well, really reinforces their feelings for each other

and as for 'getting your life back' WTF???? I had kids to be PART of my life not a f*ing accessory!!!!!!!

the whole thing is very, very, sad

FSID have responded here

I only watched the 2nd half but was totally indignant at the cr*p I heard from CV. That said, I didn't agree with everything either of the other 2 said either.

The continuum concept lady really made me angry when she was shown "helping" the C-Section mum to breastfeed. I reckon you could see that poor mum wilting under her words.

I refuse to believe that there has ever been a time when the majority of parents have followed any of these approaches to the letter - or any other approach come to that.

These days, having got to 2y3m with my dd, I would only advise other parents to follow their instincts. By all means, read the advice from these people but only with a view to selecting those aspects that make sense to you and always being prepared to adapt any method to suit you.

I wonder who the hell put CV's website together! I am sure I can find a few 15 or 16 yr olds at the comp i teach at who can do a better job! and a better job at spelling too! At least they know how to use 'spell check'.

I see she is willing to 'advice' women who breast and formular feed. t'would be funny too if she wasn't so grim - as in reaper.

to give 'advice'

This programme made me so sad. Those poor tiny babies who will get no cuddles, attention or love. CV is a total psycho i'm afraid. How could anyone advocate treating ANY child (let alone a newborn!) like that??

And why on earth would anyone sign up to be part of such an experiment?? Can only assume that the parents involved were paid handsomely for their participation. Why else would you invite a film crew into your life immediately after giving birth and allow someone else to dictate how to interact (or not!) with your child?

Breaks my heart. My 16 wk old DS is loved, cuddled, interacted with, has never been forced into a routine and is the happiest most laid back little sweetie i've ever come across.
Oh, and he sleeps 10hrs a night. Every night. And has done for the past 5 weeks...

Hi Cat,

I think that parents are 'lured' by the promise that the baby will sleep through the night and will eat/sleep at very predictable (read imposed) time. And that their life will go bback to 'normal' within a few days. Believe it or not some parents are actually ready to swap their child's mental wellbeing in exchange for a glass of wine and a full night sleep.

Don't get me wrong, I have a six month old and when he slept through the night for the first time I DID have a big glass of wine in celebration. It is hard work to get up once, two, three, four times a night. But to trade that with leaving a baby to cry for hours, and give him NO CUDDLES, no kisses, no reassurance... hmmmmm

When are some people going to get a grip with the idea that Having a Baby is not like Having a Cold: i.e. something to get over after the initial discomfort and incubation period before slipping back into your previous life? CHildren are not accessories to be acquired, and if you want your 'old life' then don't have children.

If, however, you are ready to accept that life will change - quite possibly and (ime) actually for the better - then go ahead, trust your instincts and enjoy the rollercoaster.

For a few months ttc I wanted my life to change, that waws the whole point. I find it really insulting that we're expected to want to go back to how life was, oh apart from the thing screaming in the garden.
oh and

"Becoming a parent is like discovering a whole new magical world " (from her website)
Only if you allow yourself to actually enjoy your children - does that not contradict her plans to get old life back?

"And why on earth would anyone sign up to be part of such an experiment??"

The producers and researchers probably lied to them like they usually do for these sort of reality programmes.

It was probably sold to the parents as "you'll be getting the full attention of a famous child care expert, with lots of support and back up from child psychologists etc, etc, etc". I bet they didn't say anything to them about how the expert was going to tell them not to cuddle their baby or have eye contact with it.

Once the TV crew and Claire Verity are in the house and there they are with a newborn baby feeling very vulnerable, it would probably be really hard to stand up to them and tell them to get stuffed.

Absolutely disgusting if you ask me and the producers ought to be ashamed of themselves. Verity is just their pawn in all this. They didn't have to use her but like all reality TV shows they want "drama" and a villain.

I remember getting an email recruiting for the programme when I was pregnant from Bounty or some other emailing list; it was presented as a series following parents as they followed the advice of different childcare books. No mention that one of them was 50 years old though!

I have only seen the first episode, as I've downloaded it rather than watched it on telly.

Two things in particular struck me:

1. The Truby King method pre-dated effective contraception, the others followed it. I wonder if the Spock and Continuum methods were developed because suddenly from the 1960s the only women who had babies were the ones who actively wanted them and didn't regard them as just an annoying impediment to normal life, and they found the TK method abhorrent. The TK method did strike me very much as basic survival for babies who were not wanted in the first place. Uninvited guests get tea and a biscuit, invited guests get a four-course dinner party.

2. When the mother of one of the TK babies started sobbing because it was so hard to listen to her baby cry, Bitchface patted her on the arm and soothed her. I thought come on, if you're consistent you should turn off the lights and leave the mother crying alone in the room for four hours.

ninedragons, i hadn't thought of it before, but i think your first point is spot on- almost a case of doing just enough to keep the child living. And with large families/fewer labour saving devices/no hands on fathers etc the 'four hour' routine may have been needed just to fit in all the daily chores..

there is NO excuse for it now.....