MASTERCHEF thread 5: we WILL look for you, we WILL find you, and we WILL watch you.

[Halsall]

We have a very particular set of skills. Understand this, schedulers.

Do not mess with us.

I so want to Thomas to cock up. Arrogant twat.

Do they have to be the same?! Has Geoff never watched this programme?

To be fair to Thomas the Twat (who I used to like) that dish looks lovely.

Fuck off Thomas

That Grocer's boy looks about 11!

So wide-eyed and scrubbed!

I feel exactly the same about John. I have a love / hate relationship with him.

Geoff and his walnuts. Again

What is it with that man and walnuts?!

Why is chilli in every bloody thing?! Eo much nice food ruined.

Wow. That lady has some serious hair.

Geoff just loves to have his hands full of his nuts. As a doctor of lurve

All together now - those are not perfect quenelles

Selin's hair is amazing. Her food also looks brilliant. I'd love to eat at her restaurant.

did you see those waitresses in white gloves?

Hasn't she foxes? - I would have commented but I was breaking up an almost dog fight.

Irini and Jilly look so stressed.

Is that a great big chocolatey fingerprint on that plate?!

Oh no - phew. Meant to be there.

Pity about the melting ice-cream though.

Is that the lady with the long curly hair? If so it was incredible hair! I didn't know who she was though might have to Google

Not even decent rochers

Oh Jilly!

Look at your pinky!

I love that woman.

My word - isn't Greggg a card . . .

Yup, Selin is the lady with the long curly hair. She was on Great British Menu a couple of years ago and she was excellent.

Thomas taking all that feeedback as given to him personally

*pinny - not pinky

FFS autocorrect! I thought we'd come to an agreement . . .

Geoff - lay off the nuts for god's sake

Haha Schaden. I wondered what the fuck you were going on about.

FIVE critics?! Nope. All the noping. I'd run home. Although: TRACY. I love her.

Goody - Grace!

Don't like that wanker Shitwell though