MASTERCHEF thread 5: we WILL look for you, we WILL find you, and we WILL watch you.

[Halsall]

We have a very particular set of skills. Understand this, schedulers.

Do not mess with us.

Honestly Alex open a cake shop near me right now. You know you want to. I'd make you rich.

That carrot looks rather . . .phallic

Grammar Gregg

BOLLOCKS.

What's happening? I've missed it since I posted at the start. Sodding ipad keeps crashing with these SODDING pop-ups so I've adjourned to proper computer and am trying to watch via tiny iplayer....

I thought that Pencil - he's such an arsehole

Jim's gone. Gelatinous is not a winning word.

Gelatinous meat doesn't do it for me, I'm afraid

Ooooh Irini . . . .

looks lovely

Go irini

SHUT UP GREGGGG - YOU PATRONISING TWAT!

Irini's dish looks so beautiful.

foxes I'm on my second glass and getting a good buzz on. Used to take a bottle to do that.

Chicklit - just stop it Greg

halsall feel your pain. foxes Im late to the party and very, very confused but Tim did badly and Delia and Irini did well which is fine by me.

I saw half a pig's head - reduced to a couple of tiny tacos?

Nah....

grouchy I almost had a fishfinger sandwich for dinner tonight but plumped for a ready meal lasagne and chips (classy). I love a fishfinger sandwich.

I can't get over pig's head tacos and walnuts four ways wtaf is going on?!

I didn't like the look of Jilly's plate, but that massive hunk of beef looks amazing.

Mmmm - I hesitate to criticise Jilly, but they green is off-puttingly bright to me

I'll salt your racquets alright Greggg

I am not watching as at jazz club and the bastards broke 10 minutes early for the interval and caught us all on the hop. I will be reading your comments and imagining what is going on.

Star anise ✔️ (yawn)

Look at irinis plate. Gorgeous.
Crossing everything for Jilly. Noooooo. But I think dexter is gone. I hope.
I loathe walnuts. Like little bitter testicles.

grouchy two glasses is pretty much my limit these days tbh, I was always a lightweight but small children and not enough sleep means I just can't hack it anymore!

Cheers anyway

Seriously though...walnuts four ways?! The men need to leave! All of them.

All very brown Geoff

What the fuck idGregggg talking about?

Creepy bullying Thomas - bring it on you wanker!