Masterchef. It's back. Go on, you know you want to. Thread the 1st

[Halsall]

New series, starts Monday the 13th (unlucky for some?) on BBC1 at 9pm. Starting on a low gas now so the Greggggg 'observations' can build up gradually to a nice rolling boil.

THANK YOU ❤️ to @MrsTommyBanks for spotting the date and sending out the Mastercheffians bat-signal

@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@RomaineCalm
@GrouchyKiwi
@Wolfcub
@Taffeta
@fourquenelles
@whatashower
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@PencilMuseum
@jay55
@ilovesooty
@iklboo
@shirleyphallus

Apologies to anyone I've missed and I trust you'll see the thread. We need the equivalent of an email group!

56 new contestants to find nicknames for

Gregg's head looks pointy.

I would not eat that pork. I don't care if it's meant to be safe to have it pink these days..

Something like that, OhWhat. I'm stockpiling so I've had to fit my tins of chickpeas around Marcus' cage.

Oh Gary... 🤦🏻‍♀️

Really Halsall so what does she do now then, wasn't she a doctor

I like the way annabel has matched her skin to her hair.

Orange is the new black?

flabby soufflé for Frank.
Annabel - massive chunks of pork or what? And cauli yuk and raw spud
Gary - that looks like something anyone could make - authentically rough.

Oh poor Gary.

Tim looks like the suspect in a really grim British murder drama

Jesus Christ!

He smiles like a pervert!

Even worse than a car crash - that was a train crash!

No me either Grouchy, I don't eat pink pork

Snap Schaden

Micro basil. Fuck off Tim.

She still is, ellen - she said cooking was too much hard work

Gregg Wallace and his Knob-Brain of Solace

Tonight Gregg goes on one of his special adventures where he annoys all the lady contestants who want to marry John instead.

He's got "STALKER" stamped all over him.

And "micro basil"? WTactualF is that?

That is Dennis Nilsen. I always like a serial killer spor early on.

Basil with seafood just sounds wrong.

Such a thick skinned twassock

Had a feeling the crispy beef wouldn't work, poor Gary

To be fair, it's pretty hard to have unsoggy courgettes.

bet you're glad you weren't one of the 700 cake eaters now

Oh dear!

BUT
I am impressed that she doesn't seem to care that Greggg likes it (because he's a wanker)

Micro red amaranth. Now they're taking the piss.

Lawyer Lisa looking a bit smug there, because her dish is the first that doesn't look like it was sicked up.