Masterchef. It's back. Go on, you know you want to. Thread the 1st

[Halsall]

New series, starts Monday the 13th (unlucky for some?) on BBC1 at 9pm. Starting on a low gas now so the Greggggg 'observations' can build up gradually to a nice rolling boil.

THANK YOU ❤️ to @MrsTommyBanks for spotting the date and sending out the Mastercheffians bat-signal

@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@RomaineCalm
@GrouchyKiwi
@Wolfcub
@Taffeta
@fourquenelles
@whatashower
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@PencilMuseum
@jay55
@ilovesooty
@iklboo
@shirleyphallus

Apologies to anyone I've missed and I trust you'll see the thread. We need the equivalent of an email group!

56 new contestants to find nicknames for

Nope. That looks terrible. That looks like a sad pile of food tossed onto the plate.

Black pudding mash is quite nice actually. Our butcher makes pork pie with black pudding and onion marmalade. Dh lurves IT.
Ooo la la? Second time tonight. Stop trying to make. IT a thing. (I dint know why my iPad says IT)
Dh said it looks like Victorian hospital food.

I did a shout-out for her - I don't think she's name-changed.

@fourquenelles - are you about? We need you!

Beans look burned

Yes, where is @fourquenelles?

Are this Hilda Ogden's ducks on their wall?

They make a house a home, don't they?

Report it to 101. Someone's stolen half of Tim's plate of food.

Another pale food . . .

. . . do you think it's the six month long nights that does it? Etiolates all of the foodstuff?

Unusual

His puffing looks as underwhelming as his first course

'you've got one minute to crumble your biscuit....and then i'm putting my bloomers back on'.

There’s one strawberry per dish

Pudding! What a puffing??

“You are unusual Tim (chuckle)”
Hmmm.

It's just vanilla slop.

I think that's a failure.

"Interesting" is never a compliment in these situations

C'mon Frank!

what, I suspect that's what they said about Ted Bundy too.

Greg gets overwrought over slight lateness - BIngo

Hope you enjoy it!

Civilised speech!

Those rotis look awful. Sorry Frank.

How many are going home? If it's two then both blokes are outta here.

"it's just very unpleasant, sadly."

They're not sugar coating it are they?

Yep - I'm expecting both the blokes to go.

You flatter me Halsall
I'm sure I mentioned the penis thing at the time. There were lots of green faces in response if I recall correctly.