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Telly addicts

There She Goes - anyone?

260 replies

hazeyjane · 16/10/2018 22:39

Anyone watching?

OP posts:
LadyLuna16 · 01/11/2018 09:10

@OrchidInTheSun Grin exactly right!

There are more decent people out there than arseholes.

IntentsAndPorpoises · 01/11/2018 09:10

When Rosie empties a bottle of milk over head she clearly knows she is being naughty and the parents do nothing

No, I saw that as her doing it for the sensory feedback. Like in the rain. She lies the sensation of it over her and splashing in it.

MabelBee · 01/11/2018 10:20

It's interesting, because I always wonder if putting this type of show on mainstream telly actually (a) interests people who don't have children who aren't neurotypical, who then watch the show and learn something or (b) actually educates people.

It seems to me that people like tiredgirly are watching with their existing perceptions and prejudices and aren't capable of seeing another perspective. I kind of understand that until you have lived something like this, you wouldn't necessarily be aware of things like sensory-seeking behaviour. Or that traditional punishment doesn't work for behaviour management.

@tiredgirly, in case you are in fact interested, in the situation with the milk, the parents may be able to find a more desirable activity which gives Rosie the same sensory feedback as pouring a bottle of milk over her head (this could be a number of things, isn't necessarily pouring anything wet and can seem unrelated, like deep pressure massage or skin brushing). They may be able to replace the unwanted behaviour with one that isn't as disruptive for them. They may also find that her needing that type of sensory feedback is triggered by something, so if they avoid that trigger, her need to feel the sensation doesn't arise. This type of behaviour management for children like Rosie is widely accepted and encouraged by professionals, whereas punishment is pointless and never recommended.

I personally find it quite hard when I am so close to the behaviour to see what the trigger or consequence of the unwanted behaviour is. It's hard not to get bogged down with the firefighting.

tiredgirly · 01/11/2018 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MabelBee · 01/11/2018 10:36

@tiredgirly, do you mean Rosie's mum was rude at baby signing? I thought seemed overwhelmed and depressed, like she had quite severe PND. Parents of neurodiverse children often go through a cycle of grief for the child and future they will never have.

MabelBee · 01/11/2018 10:38

I don't apologise for my child's behaviour in public, nor do I performance parent for other people's benefit. I do sometimes explain if people are receptive.

AamdC · 01/11/2018 10:42

Well dad did apologise when she bit the inflatable and i for one would offer to buy another cake etc , most people are very kind whem ds steals cakes, chips , drinks etc , when i explain hes disabled, yes ots a sitcom but i think its very obvious that it reflects a lot of peoples reality and im not sure why you dont understand that and i think its been done very well and is very realistic and doesnt gloss over things .

Sleepyblueocean · 01/11/2018 10:47

tiredgirly there will be things that you and your family do that will impact on families with children like Rosie.
Rosie might stare at people but she doesn't pull disgusted faces at them or judge them.

PollyFlinderz · 01/11/2018 10:50

think its very obvious that it reflects a lot of peoples reality

Tidygirl knows that but her comment was all she could come up with to save face.

MabelBee · 01/11/2018 10:51

I haven't been in a situation where my child has eaten or broken something belonging to someone else, but I would replace it. I don't apologise for the disruptive stuff though, like the behaviour Rosie displayed around the pool, crying, lying down etc.

AamdC · 01/11/2018 10:55

No i dont eithrer Mabel in fact if people stsre i can be very forthright with them , ds can be a theid thpugh and obviously i try to intercept but i can be very fast!

AamdC · 01/11/2018 10:56

theif*

MabelBee · 01/11/2018 11:01

I honestly don't notice the looks anymore. Very thick skin these days!

PollyFlinderz · 01/11/2018 11:01

I haven't been in a situation where my child has eaten or broken something belonging to someone else, but I would replace it.

I have and it was really funny. The person who’s food he pinched midway to her mouth thought so too. But then she had been watching my son from afar and enjoying the beauty of him.

We were on holiday and had nipped into a cafe for lunch. The food took quite a while to come and the woman’s was served first because she’d been there first. She picked up her burger and before she could bite it my then 16 year old son ran across and grabbed it. He must have thought it was his. Either that or he was starving. Anyway it was a nice little local cafe and everyone in it started laughing. It really was funny. Anyway the lovely woman gave my son the rest of her meal and she took his when it was ready. We also paid for her families lunch unbeknownst to her when we were leaving. She actually said she’d wanted to offer her lunch to my son but she didn’t know if it was ok to or not so she’d held back but, she should have known better than to get between a growing lad and his dinner.

We still laugh about that day and my dad still sees the woman in town and she always asks - how’s our boy.

AamdC · 01/11/2018 11:06

I do find most people very kind Polly my son once tried to steal a lolly out of another childs mouthShock

MabelBee · 01/11/2018 11:06

Ha! That is an awesome story in every way!

Mishappening · 01/11/2018 11:08

I started to watch it because I think that David Tennant is just plain gorgeous in every possible way. But even his attraction could not keep me with it. It seemed very superficial to me.

MabelBee · 01/11/2018 11:15

Presumably the dad's behaviour and reaction is exaggerated for entertainment. I really dislike his character, and hope he's heading for some kind of epiphany or redemption. My DH does think that he recognises his reaction but his was far less extreme. I certainly would not have tolerated him abandoning me with it and disappearing down the pub at any opportunity!

AamdC · 01/11/2018 11:32

I think Dad has a really. dark sense of humour i quite like the charchter in the presrnt day but yes buggering off to te pub all the time wpuls piss me off.

LadyLuna16 · 01/11/2018 11:37

I was talking about this with my husband last night.

Before Rosie was born he was someone who buggered off to the pub and left everything to his wife. When she has the midwife appointment and is measuring small she calls him, he is in the pub and isn't that interested - she has to cope on her own. He is still the same person when Rosie is born and now she is older (although he seems to be less in the pub and more hiding in the kitchen doing a crossword).

I quite like that he is the same and not great. It shows that actually people who have children with disabilities are not saints, they are just normal people and having a child with SN does not turn you in to a different parent. He is probably a bit extreme, but it shows that they are not 'chosen' or 'special' they are just people who this has been thrust upon.

AamdC · 01/11/2018 11:39

Exactly LadyLuna just normal people coping the best they can none of this "God gives special kids to special parents" nonsense

MabelBee · 01/11/2018 12:23

I get that he's got a dark sense of humour and that he's a bit crap. I just don't get how he hasn't seemed to realise that she can understand what he says about her and is so disrespectful towards her. We don't openly speak about my child in front of her even though she wouldn't show that she understands us, because we know that in some level she does understand. Also how he hasn't managed to learn any terminology to explain her condition or behaviour to other people. Although that is perhaps making the point that her condition is unexplained, whereas I can say my child is autistic, they don't have that language.

WonderBoy · 01/11/2018 12:59

Great to see the challenging and (attempts at!) educating from pps, and that MNHQ have backed this and This Is My Child up by deleting a couple of the worst posts, (and probably signposting the way out of the thread). Let's hope that the thread has now been reclaimed for more healthy, open-minded discussion to continue. As someone rather brilliant once said, we're stronger together. Flowers

Partridgeamongstthepigeons · 01/11/2018 14:40

Just watched it with PIL - they asked me if they had ever said 'there's nothing wrong with him' to me. They remember saying it and we just had a v honest and emotional discussion.

I messaged Shaun Pye yesterday to thank him.

Partridgeamongstthepigeons · 01/11/2018 14:41

Again @LadyLuna16 totally agree