There She Goes - anyone?

[hazeyjane]

Anyone watching?

I found this devastating to watch.

My DS’s birth was severely mismanaged and it is pure fluke that he doesn’t have severe disabilities as a result. It’s nothing in comparison but he has some minor issues and my heart broke during the scene where the mum is begging David tenants character to believe her that something is wrong and to help her. My husband withdrew too (not into alcohol) and it is just so, so hard. I will watch the next episode but with tissues at the ready, and without my DH.

To all those loving children with severe disabilities, nothing but sympathy and support for when it is tough.

Just rewatched It, and now have to sort myself out before the school run as burst into tears at the kitchen scene, the crying and making shit jokes rang so true with some of our most difficult times.

I did find the getting to sleep scene a bit unrealistic, because I can't imagine leaving d's to get to sleep on his own, it just wouldn't happen (and so know this is true of most of our friends with children eith complex needs)

I also found myself wishing they had a sn buggy to get to the park....i can't actually imagine going out as a family without a buggy for ds!

this is a good interview eith Shaun Pye the writer.

I wondered if they were trying to show what it would be like trying to do things the 'normal' way if you had a child with severe sn. I don't think people understand why children who can walk have buggies - and this showed why. Also what would happen if you left them alone to go to sleep or left them alone in a kitchen.

I was impressed by the writing and the acting. Difficult to categorise - a bit hard-hitting to be "comedy" drama.

If i left ds alone to go to sleep he just woyldnt go to sleep he would get up and wander aroynd or come down stairs he would also get distressed

I think (like a friend has just said when talking about this on FB) that we each have our own 'normal' - so to me the idea of not having a buggy (especially as I can't drive) would mean so much more struggling. And I think the sleep thing is done differently depending on so many things.

I particularly liked the neighbour - his awkwardness and trying not to say anything, then saying the wrong thing (god how many times have I herad the....'well all children do that'), but then offering to help with repairing the wall - it was very perceptive, I thought.

I tried to rewatch the beginning that i missed on iplayer, and couldnt find it but see it is under Comedy
it was funny and gripping and all sorts of emotions

I just searches for it by title

I don't mind it being categorised as comedy drama or comedy. There's plenty of drama and comedy in our life here, although tragicomedy would be more apt! Perhaps the category is to attract a more mainstream audience. It's good to see a family a bit more like mine being represented in drama rather than in a documentary. I hope it helps to raise awareness and understanding - we could certainly do with that.

I noticed the way sleep and Rosie's bedroom was portrayed too. It's either accurate from the writer's experience, or they decided to water it down because no one would believe the reality! Permanent waking nights, co-sleeping for safety and to ensure maximum sleep, 3am meltdowns and 4am cheese, crackers and Postman Pat anyone?!

I did laugh at the neighbour next door with his daughter of the same age who was out cycling and then when they were trying to get Rosie in the car he appeared with a cello or something and said "it's never ending, isn't it" as if to compare his parent taxiing to theirs - around the corner to the park. That was nicely done, as was the "all children do that" about sleeping and screaming. Er, no. No mate. Not like that.

Just found this series on iPlayer.
OMG!!! The comparisons to my dd2,even down to the won't breastfeed when she was a baby. My dd has a rare chromosome disorder too.
I'm just on episode one.

And now the tears have come. The scene when Mum comes down when he's come in late & she tells him all her fears 😢

Yes, the neighbour was well done. Like a homeless person being stepped over by a wealthy opera-goer, we've all been bypassed during our daily struggles by the 'perfect' family, unicycling past us while at the same time playing their oboes and flutes. And the need to tongue bite, rather than reply 'you don't know you're born, mate'. I hope the neighbour remains of the ilk to offer to help repair the wall, and doesn't start complaining about the noise and reporting them to Social Services.

@wonderboy I think the neighbour is supposed to be the awkward but well meaning type. I don’t think they’ll make him nasty. Maybe just exasperated by the end of the series.

Yes, I agree Miss - feels awkward but is well-meaning. It will be interesting to see how the whole series pans out, including the neighbour.

DH and I LOVED it. It's so refreshing to see a family like ours represented in a drama, oh how often we've come across the well meaning 'kids eh!' in the middle of a meltdown just like that! We even had to pause the programme halfway through to go upstairs and see to a poo issue of our own! The mum in the kitchen at the very end really got me, expressing exactly how I felt but was always so scared to say it as I didn't want to be branded a bad mother!

I thought the portrayal of the neighbour was very nuanced - that awkward not knowing what to do for the best.....breezily ignore? Empathise (badly - oh we're all in the same boat....No we're not!)?? It was so much better than a caricature and showed that awkwardness really well, saying yes, we know you bung your excess wine bottles in our recycling....but it's ok, and can I help you fix the wall....then still coming out with the awkwardly wrong stuff. That is very real.

It's like the gran, trying to be kind, 'oh all I see is a beautiful little girl', which seems like a nice thing to say, but actually just makes the mum feel like she is going mad.

I think (hope) most people are trying to do the right thing but often don't know what that right thing is.

....of course there are also the out and out tools, who are just straightforward arseholes...

I can't stop thinking about the programme, it's a bit embarrassing, I keep wanting to bring it up in conversation like when you have a crush on someone. Dh liked it but worries that the dad came across as an arsehole and said he hopes they show the dad getting it right dometimes too. So I will just have to talk about it online.

Thank Christ for mumsnet eh!

I agree @hazeyjane. I think that david tennant’s character was harder to sympathise with, but I think they’ll develop him given how he behaved in the kitchen scene.

I thought David Tennant's character was done well - that part at the end when the daughter was on his knees showed his real tenderness for her.

This program got to me in so many ways. I saw my dd in the son who doesn't get as much time and attention as they should but who also shows so much kindness and understanding towards their sibling. My dh in DT who is more easily frustrated and does try but goes for the quick fix which usually results in me taking over and having to calm the situation down. We also have the occasional find the poo experience when my ds has an accident and hides his pants, usually in a random drawer! I found it all a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and hard to watch at times but excellent all the same.

I really am glad I can talk about the programme here.....I just had a meeting with SALT and one of ds's TAs and somehow ended up working "pissed arsehole syndrome" into the conversation. Feeling mortified and awkward now!

I will be interested to see how they tackle professionals, health care, education etc.

All the actors, especially the son, were excellent, and it was heartbreaking to see how the mum felt.

we've all been bypassed during our daily struggles by the 'perfect' family, unicycling past us while at the same time playing their oboes and flutes.

This really made me laugh Wonderboy

I loved the first episode of this. Which is a relief, I hated The A Word, couldn't get past episode 2.

Hazey yes I really hope they tackle education, social etc.

Helps also I love both David Tennant and Jessica Hynes anyway.

The brother being so kind and understanding made me blub, just like my DD.

I loved it. That first seen going to the park, I was like "that's us ever day trying tk go to school". My dd has a diagnosis of ASD, she is verbal and what historically would have been called high functioning.

But the bite marks on arms, the clawing, the food battles. All so familiar.