There She Goes - anyone?

[hazeyjane]

Anyone watching?

It has certainly been an eye opener for me. I have no kids anyway. Hopefully I won't be so judgemental in future and have more empathy!

@LadyLuna16 I totally agree

tiredgirly I think what you actually mean is that Rosie is not behaving 'normally' enough for you and you can't cope with that. The problem lies within in you.

Absolutely @Sleepyblueocean

I think that Tiredgirly is, for reasons that I'm (thankfully) unable to fathom, being a GF.

Don't give her the satisfaction of a response.

Rosie reminds me of several of my patients it’s exhausting watching their parents deal with their behaviour in a 30 minute clinic appointment; the programme has been a real eye opener to what their everyday life must be like. Its given me a better understanding of where they’re coming from. One of the patients is usually accompanied by an older sibling who helps the parent in clinic and I see a lot of Ben’s reaction to Rosie in her.

tiredgirly bored, are we ?

I watched the most recent episode today. What struck me was how utterly frustrating it must be for Rosie when she tries to communicate her needs and desires as well as her family's desire to understand her. I think it's a fantastic programme

..and please remember this thread is a chat about a TV fiction!!

Only its not fiction @tiredgirly its based on the writers own experience of his own child and for many of us its reality ,you do what you have to do , its not normal to want to watch people exercising at a gym , but its what makes Rosie happy i guess if your desperate you might tryanything , as for not disciplining her , how would you discipline her ? i have its not necessarily naughty behaviour , my son bites , hes not being naughty hes frustrated , we try distraction and rewarding good behaviour ignoring bad

Good one last night,
so well made,
great acting,
the 2006 doom mixed with the total opportunism of present day
the mum is still trying to evaluate but is getting results
loved the meeting with the geneticist and dad's reaction

tiredgirly you really don't have a clue do you. That is fine as why would you. But have the grace to realise this and stop making ignorant comments.

Children with severe learning disabilities are not older children with the minds of much younger children. It is far far far more complex than that.

Any anyway, the dad does tell her off!

it is a true story tiredgirl, and if you watch, the dad does try to discipline

@tiredgirly you are absolutely entitled to your opinion. However, as someone not in the position of Rosie’s parents in RL then I feel it’s important to also be respectful of the views of others.

Rather than criticising the lack of discipline you could ask people who are in that situation why you don’t feel any disciplining is taking place. From that we can all learn something and hopefully increase our undertaking.

tiredgirly of course no-one can actually stop you from writing whatever you want.

Children with sld can have undesirable behaviour for all sorts of reasons and it is not straightforward to stop them happening because the reasons can be very complex. The sort of discipline you might use with a young NT child frequently doesn't work.

As PP has said, Rosie is not delayed as much as developmentally different. She poured the milk over her head because it felt good I would think. It gave her sensory feedback which in that moment felt good. She was not naughty.

I know you think you are just commenting on a TV show but there are many people on this thread with learning disabled children (me included) who are saying that this depicts their life. Not totally, but it is so wonderful seeing a programme on TV with a family that looks a bit like mine.
But you are ignoring all the people who are explaining why the parents are doing what they’re doing people who have first hand experience and arrogantly saying that you know best. It’s odd frankly.

Are the parents perfect? Not at all. But as someone said earlier neither is outnumbered or Motherland.

They take a situation (parenting) create scenarios that we can all recognise (and in this case you don’t recognise them but LOTS of parents on this thread do) and then make comedy by making her parents not react in the wholly correct way but in a way that we can all identify with.

Is dad perfect? Absolutely not. Neither of them are. But none of us are are we?

I know it is just TV programme but really it is very personal for so many of us. Our family is being represented on TV and to have someone say they feel sorry for the other child (I certainly feel guilt for my son and the fact that his sister takes up so much of my mental energy) hurts.

TO hear you openly judging just reminds us of all the people who judge when they see our child act in an age ‘inappropriate’ way in public.

Gah. Just enjoy the programme and use it to learn about people that at the moment you know nothing about.

Maybe now would be a good time for MNHQ to link to their campaign This is my Child

I once taught a child with some of Rosie's characteristics, although she was verbal the tantrums were similar. In a mainstream Reception class the other children were remarkably understanding and seemed instinctively to understand why she didn't get disciplined for things like running around the room when they would have done. It was some time before we got a one-to-one TA for her and it was often easier to let her wander off and play with something else while I could teach the rest of the class. To pursue her would only have wasted everyone's time - both hers and the other children's. On the other hand, I discovered accidentally that playing a certain song would get her to come to the carpet and she would join in a group activity for a while. 'Punishment' would have been futile.

As regards siblings I have found that siblings of children with physical or learning disabilities learn to be kind and thoughtful and to anticipate problems such as a wheelchair users access and take steps like pushing in chairs without being asked. Sometimes, however, I have seen younger siblings who seem to miss out a bit on the babying stage because the older one has so many needs. Also a younger child who will copy some of the older ones behaviours (as any child naturally takes the lead from an older sibling) even though they don't have the condition. This is not universal though.

The young actress who plays Rosie is amazing and must have had brilliant direction to play the part so well.

Just today someone asked me how old my son is and I replied he’s 27 but those 27 years are actually like a patchwork quilt of various ages and abilities with some of the patches being about 3 years old and others being for eg 6, 8, 11, 15, 20 etc.

I haven’t watched the series but I can well imagine the much younger part of Rosie being the part that had her pouring the milk over her head. Children can get the strangest/funniest ideas and as the mum of 5 and granny of 6 I could tell some stores in that respect.

With regard to Tiredgirly - she’s obviously never been told that all attention isn’t good attention and I’d just be inclined to pat her on the head and say ‘there there dear, we’ve noticed you’.

I will link to This Is My Child but fear it is a bit wasted on Tired.

The Learning Disabilities nurses here make a leaflet about behaviour, why a child might act in a particular way and how calm distraction and redirection is often the only way to keep the child and those around them, safe. (Remember that magimix blade in the milk pouring kitchen scene....).A parent I know has a few copies she hands to people who have taken it upon themselves to tell them how naughty their child is, whilst they try to calmly look after their child in the midst of a meltdown.

This always happens on threads on Mumsnet about ....behaviour, screens in restaurants, 'fussy' eating, how often do you bathe your child etc etc. Posters will come on and say how those children should be dealt with, then someone who works with or who has a child with special needs will say, 'well I've never done this, and if my child can do it then any child can.....' yada yada fucking yada.

All children are different
All families are different
All circumstances are different
What is needed by one child may not be needed or work for another. (Christ I have taught my children and the 3/4 year olds I work with this simple thing but trying to get judgy adults to grasp it is fucking impossible)

One thing I am glad of though

Tiredgirl's posts really highlight the judgement and assumptions we come across almost daily. So thankyou for this.

All behaviour is communication.

Of course you're allowed an opinion tiredgirly. In this case, however, it's a bit like stumbling onto a thread where people are discussing a French tv show and you complaining it was shit because you don't understand French.

It just makes you look like a bit of a knob.

Yes all behaviour is communication

She throws shoes at tv and at dad because she wants to go out and he isn't acknowledging that or explaining when in ways she can understand. She has to get his attention

And tgat is constant hard work
. It s hard work to get child to use their AAC...