There She Goes - anyone?

[hazeyjane]

Anyone watching?

I can't bring myself to watch it (yet?), as my younger daughter has had similar issues. What I will say on the topic of the "crap childhood" of siblings though, is that my elder daughter is now an extremely accomplished and compassionate young woman, whose infinite patience and empathy have led to a very successful university experience and a brilliant and rewarding graduate career. In many ways, her family background has been the absolute making of her. I am tremendously proud.

Do you think every thread is about your family? This one is clearly about Rosie and her family.

Obviously not, but this thread is about a tv programme that most of us said we felt was quite representative of our lives eith our disabled children, so it's bound to feel a bit raw.

It seems a shame you've deemed the brother to have crap childhood from one half hour episode.

I find it a great shame that There She Goes is only commissioned for BBC4 (small audience) where The A-Word was BBC1 (big audience). That reflects the problem with society - higher functioning autism is easier to accept than low functioning individuals. I felt that There She Goes was far more representative of our experiences.

That said, did anybody else question the open bedroom door, landing light, and ineffective 'door gate'? Our son would have climbed over that in five seconds; we have to close the door on him.

Eggys mum definitely! My husband built our son a special bed which was like a fortress so he couldn't escape. It was lights off across the house and whispering for at least 10 years and for 3 years my DH slept next to our DS after a two day stay at PIL where DS wouldn't sleep.

The programme also resonated with me as we have an older DS and his experiences were mirrored very well - take photos of board games, 5 minute visits to places

The thing is its not always apparent that your child has disabillities untill they are a toddler and not developing as they should ds was aroynd 18 months to 2 before we realised there were problems by which time we were devoted to him and np it isnt helpful to hear other people wondet how they would cope you have too,and no ds1 doesnt have a crap childhood in some ways he has had more experiences because of his brothers disabillities, free days out to theme parks, fairs etc he even got taken to the south of france for a week as part of a charity because he was the brother of a.disabled child, just last sunday we went to see a pantomonr for free as the productiin company had donated free tickets to ds2 special school.

Pantomime

Someone has obviously had an empathy bypass.

Morning all

Just a reminder that episode 2 is on tonight at 10pm on BBC4.

When I started the thread last week in SN Chat about the series, I'd thought about where best to place it as there wasn't a thread at that point. I momentarily considered AIBU for traffic as I hoped as many people as possible would watch the series to raise awareness across the general MN population. I quickly discounted AIBU though because it tends to attract the most disablist comments, and so I tend to avoid any AIBU threads related to disability because of that. I started the thread in SN Chat in the hope of reaching families with severely learning disabled children a bit like Rosie - families a bit like mine. The SN Chat topic tends not to be very busy and so I then started a second thread in Chat hoping to reach a few more similar families, but also to reach other MN members without disabled children but outside the harsher environment of AIBU. This thread was then started by hazey - hello there - who perhaps hadn't noticed the 2 existing threads, and this thread has been the busiest.

The SN Chat thread is still open, (can't link to it, sorry - perhaps someone kindly will), and I'll keep popping back to it over the next month in case anyone with a severely disabled child would prefer to discuss the series in a more informed and perhaps more comfortable place with other similar parents. Some parents will be perfectly happy with the recent debate on here and of course that's absolutely fine, but the SN Chat thread is an option for those who aren't.

Looking forward to tonight's episode - perhaps with a glass of wine

in some ways he has had more experiences because of his brothers disabillities, free days out to theme parks, fairs etc he even got taken to the south of france for a week as part of a charity because he was the brother of a.disabled child, just last sunday we went to see a pantomonr for free

I don't get your point .Virtually all kids get taken to theme parks, fairs, pantomime and holidays.It's good for you that it's free, but I can't see how that is giving experiences that other DC don't have?

Thanks for the reminder.
will watch in a bit

no, confused with my days!
Will watch tonight

You're welcome, Little, from one confused person to another

Seriously, @tiredgirly. I know when you posted at first you were trying to empathize with parents of children with severe disabilities, and to express your admiration and respect for how well they cope. But please don't get into a wrangle about whether our other children are to be pitied.

Most are lucky if they can use pecs. Which are picture symbols

My son is now in his late 20’s and requires 2-1 round the clock care that he has at home. He’s extremely low functioning but he can read and write up to about the level of a 7 year old I think. That’s not to say he understands all of what he reads though. He’s never been to school and he didn’t speak till just before he was 9 but when he did speak it became evident he’d been soaking up everything around him like a sponge and was at about kg2 level. A friend who’s a nursery teacher asked if she could try and get him reading and a couple of years later of 4 hours a week over 3 sessions he was reading as well as doing very simple arithmetic. That said he could never be allowed out the front gate alone and I still have to put him to bed at night and tuck him in. ❤️

Less than half an hour to tonight's episode.

All being well here, I'm going to pop onto the thread in SN Chat afterwards at about 10.30pm with a G&T if any other parents of severely disabled DC would like to join me for a chat about the programme.

Upstairs with ds and struggling after an awful night last night. I will watch in Catch up tomorrow, and join you (will be coffee rather than gin though!)

Came back to this thread and was saddened to see how you all hanged up on one poster who was trying to discuss a tv show and a particular episode. Because some of you decided she was talking about your lives and your families.

Funny how so many of you were commenting on the well meaning neighbour but turned nasty on a well meaning poster.

Gang is not hang, stupid autocorrect

Ok hazey - thinking of you. Hope tonight is better. Hope to see you over in SN Chat.

I love this show it's brutal and funny and heartbreaking at times. I like that it isn't sugar coating how Rosie's parents feel and that the humour is a bit twisted. This weeks episode was brilliant people often forget how cunning people with a learning disability are capable of being Rosie figuring out her mums plan was hilarious.

was saddened to see how you all hanged up on one poster

That’s quite an exaggeration on your part considering the amount of posters on the thread and the fact only a few people replied to Tiredgirly.

I am have just started watching this series. I am in my mid-30s and my younger brother (also now in mid-30s) is globally retarted- probably would now be called severe learning difficulties.

I don't have children but from watching this series I can now appreciated how hard it must have been for them as no-one really give him answers. I am not sure my parents would be able to watch this as it's all their fears and struggles on the screen, so qudos to anyone who is watching this.

As you can imagine the bit that effected me the most was the experience of the brother. I have an older brother as well, but being the sibling of someone with learning difficulties we very isolating as the only time I spoke about it with my parents was when they were writing their will and my mum had this book called 'what happens to your mentally handicapped child after you die'. She came into my room and begged me to make sure that my brother always had Pajamas (god knows what was in that book).

I can assure you that I love my brother very much and I wouldn't swap him for the world, It is ok to talk to your other children if you are struggling and scared. I definitely didn't suffer but I did find it very hard to always have to explain to people because I didn't really have the words.

I think this show is fantastic and it would have helped me talk to my parents and my school friends and family about what it was really like at home.

I was able to watch this twice last night. really well made, bitter sweet moments.

MumUnderTheMoon, I did enjoy watching Rosie outwit her mother's plan to get her out of the bath.

It looks so exhausting. I have one NT child, slightly older than Rosie, and there's no work involved at all compared to the parenting required of a child like Rosie.