Sleb Masterchef is BACK

[Halsall]

@ellenanora5 @squoosh @GrouchyKiwi @fourquenelles @schadenfreude OH GOSH DAMN @EVERYBODY whose name I can’t quite dredge up right now from the depths of my addled brain, gather ye hither for all the traditional food-based fun and frolics. Tonite. BBC1. 8pm. Be there

I love green beans with Parmesan and lemon

I'll have to plus one it Wolfcub, it's clashing with Corrie

Is Spencer really posh? He seems less posh than DH's family and they're just MC people.

Why would you chop things off the bird without talking to your team mate? Twat.

DH is most definitely a 'pan shuffler'...

Mine is a tosser. Like he's in a professional kitchen. My hob is a fecking state.

Green beans are delicious. Mmmm vegetables.

"Into a bowl?" No, pet, onto the floor.

Bloody hell, iklboo. I hope you make him clean it. Cleaning hobs is the worst.

Poor John.

Contestant John is very good at taking charge.

The programme makers clearly think this round is far more interesting than it actually is. We really, REALLY don't need to hear Anita being told how to use a potato-ricer. In 25 easy steps.

Oh dear Anita is not really following is she

John definitely drew the short straw

I'm recording Rousette too

Anita is giving me the rage with her ineptitude.

Oh My God, a mushroom crisis, how will we cope Gregg!!

I get the impression that Anita Doesn't Really Cook

I would be getting so mad if I were John. He is so patient!

Why is she doing it in a frying pan?!

If I were John I'd be lamping her with that fucking frying pan.

If I were John I'd be stomping around the screen with a scream of 'For fuck's sake just let me do it"

I know I said I don't like John but blimey he's patient. And communicates really well.

“I’ve forgotten how to do this” = “I’ve never cooked anything in my life”

Okay I feel a bit mean towards an elderly lady now

Can't wait to see how Anita manages in mass catering

I'm just butting in here to say John has the patience of a SAINT .

Ellenora you are very optimistic to think that Anita is going to get to the mass catering stage,

Rest? Rest? That bird needs a 2-week all-inclusive