EASTENDERS 18 - NO SPOILERS!!!!

[Blondeshavemorefun]

WOW, WHAT AN EXCITING EPISODE LAST NIGHT

SO

will jane die or be rescued

will sausage be ok

will linda tell mick

will we find out the mr big plot/fi etc

im assuming bernie loses her baby :(

who is in the crashed ambulance

what will happen to ted/wife/gun/shooting

mr price and bexs or sonja

It's just a big fat farce, isn't it?! It's cardiac arrest, but I have a brownies first aid badge. FFS.

Yeah it's just stupid.

Spam lady talking to Sausage in the hospital went into Haley Joel Osment Sixth Sense mode:

"why are you looking at me like that? Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that! Stop looking at me!!! Silly Sausage! Silly Sausage! Silly Sausage!"

Yeah let's fight over a De fin in the minute Mary and over who's brownie pack first aid badge qualifies them most to take the De fin to the qualified nurse.

Oh no hang on! Kim's brownie badge made her proficient in using it whilst the nurse watched on with words of encouragement

I'm recently first aid trained (or refreshed!) and even I wouldn't be that proficient having never used one!

Sooo... Ian's brother & cousin aren't allowed to come into the hospital to support him because a random friend says so, but said random friend & the man they all framed for his daughter's murder can pop in whenever they like. Where is Christian? Has anyone even bothered to let him know that his sister is possibly dying yet again?! & why does Sharon have lots of shopping to do on her son's first day of school? What shopping could she possibly have to do that either hasn't been done before the first day or couldn't wait or someone else couldn't do?!

Oh, & yes, when someone's just coming round after a traumatic injury they're definitely trying to say something & not just gagging on the ventilator & the absolute best course of action is to shove a pen in their hand before their eyes are even open instead of seeking medical assistance.

Bernadette -

I'd be worried about Kush but I'm sure Super Sonia will save him. Not sure why he'd be leaving so early though - Strictly stuff has not long started & they film 6 weeks in advance. I was expecting him to be around for a bit longer before his dad got ill or something. Kellie Bright was filming all the scenes for L & Mock's wedding drama while doing Strictly so it's obviously not necessary to write them out completely!

On a completely unrelated note, I'm watching Strictly this year, for the first time ever. No particularly reason...

ahem.

I did smile at Mock telling Sausage to eat his sausage.

Enid you chose a fine series to watch for your first series! I am looking forward to it immensely.

EE is a farce.

Squabbling over the defrib - ridiculous. Kush falling at SuperSonia's feet - ridiculous. Max sitting with Jane - ridiculous. Sharon going off to do urgent shopping - ridiculous. Michelle's non appearance - ridiculous. Martin going 'dawwwwwn' ridiculous. The whole bloody thing is just ridiculous.

I'm guessing the Strictly lot must have weeks of intense training before the show. Don't people who have heart attacks go home after a few days though? So they're going to have to do something to keep him off screen.

Kim flashed her boobs at the pool? That's just weird.

Oh and Sharon running off to get Denny's uniform today made me laugh. I had to order mine weeks in advance to get it embroidered and even then half the sizes were gone!

At least he's not going to King Edward school for junior potato heads anymore

Sharon's massive bloody bag should have its own credit. I was a bit when lush suddenly keeled over. It's all like a 6th form am dram performance with everyone gathered round ooooing and aahhhhing.

Kush...typo. Although lush is quite fitting

I did snigger to myself when Supersonic ripped Kush's shirt open and a swooning crowd gathered around them – to provide moral support, not gawp at Kush's pecks or anything.

I can see now why Shrimpy hasn't got many lines, with his School Of Sausage delivery. "Denise. Quick. It. Is. Kush."

Just before I started watching tonight's excuse for an episode, DH said "what about Fat Boy?"
What about Fat Boy indeed?! Are we supposed to have forgotten about him? Another case of not a clue about the characters and previous story lines, more like. Not a sausage. Pardon the pun.

Glad Johnny discovered his super power: criminals turn themselves in and liars crumble under the pressure of Sausage's magic stare.

Kush's shirt opened like I imagine a Chippendale shirt would open. Was it closed with velcro. I wonder how much time he spends in the gym. He is very fit.

Sausage ate his sausage

IAN doesn't seem heartbroken over Stephen. Not sure he does know

SHAZZA Bag. Omg. Was huge !! Ditto she needs to go shopping as Denny is at school 🙄🙄🙄

Super Sonja and the deffib

Why didn't denise want to live with lush

And yes where is Kathy?

Kathy went on holiday. She's probably got some kind of drama going on with the plane home.

Rebecca and Sonia are both gunna end up seeing the teacher :O

I don't think EE bothers with grief. Roxy has several relatives in the Square who haven't given her a mention, Ian can't be arsed to grieve for another child or ask why Max was sleeping by his wife's hospital bed, Lauren and Abs are using Stevens death as an excuse for handbags at dawn. Fatboy has bee retconned.

Also the truth about the brain tumour comes out at his funeral (probably because of max)
Ian doesn't yet know that stephan is dead I don't think.
Something seems weird with Stacey so I'm guessing something happens to her soon too.
Lauren going down hill drinking which no doubt will get worse once she knows about he lies and when she learns she's gunna be an auntie!

Although think it's strange that Martin and Joyce both got arrested on the same day. Martin goes to prison, Joyce is on bail? Hmm!
And why is Fi telling lies about her dad being dead

I thought Ian did know about Steven - didn't he say he was dreading Jane waking up because he'd have to tell her? Or am I just subconsciously filling in the plot-holes now?!

Isnt it weird that we all watch the same programme, but none of us know if Ian knows Steven has died or not? doesnt it go to show how muddled the script is just now. It feels as if it has been filmed in chunks here and there and the writers have assumed that someone else has written that bit? its all a bit odd. Ian does seem to be sleepwalking through it all.
Martin did what to the policeman to warrant this treatment? that is all a bit OTT really.
Denise doesnt seem keen on Kush again - honestly, he should ditch her ( once he gets over his heart problems) she doesnt deserve those pecs.
I wish Lauren would get changed out of that deckchair dress.

Someone said Ian was dreading Jane waking because he'd have to tell her about Steven. (Was Sharon I think?).

Ian still thinks Steven died trying to save Jane.

Max seemed to show some remorse this evening?

And the Martin and Joyce storyline.
"We need to make an example of you as crimes against the police are awful so 2 weeks in custody"
Vs
"I have to report to the police station next week to see if they are charging me".

Clearly pushing someone who is preventing you from searching for your pregnant wife (not that I condone it!) is far worse than shooting someone who's knocked on your door at point blank range .

Today's PSA - being a copper is far more important than a sausage.

Bacon Vs sausage! Should have put Phil and Max in there and seen if baked bean or potato are more important

Technically Max is both bacon and sausage as he's actually a Tamworth pig (and is known as Tamworth in our house)