X FACTOR- Auditions -WEEK 2! Will we see any more sneaky returnees? 8pm tonight!

[Raahh]

So, after last week, with the super posh Chloe-Jasmine, who has auditioned before (when she was considerably less posh), and Jay James, the ex-Navy guy who had already an album- who will Simon and his mates pretend to be astounded by this week?

Will we see the mean side of Mel B? Will everyone stop fawning over Chezza? Will Louis utter a sentence that makes sense?

And where are the ARENA bits?!

So many questions, so little alcohol.

Off out to buy snacks- see you all later!

Why is there an oasis tribute act playing behind your house? Is that what local teenagers get up to these days?

Focus and be serous like Chezza did in her career

Ten. A lady?

I would HAVE to be drunk to go on X Factor

Good heavenink ma sisters from another mista

Or summat

The weird floating head against a white background thing is scary. It's xfactor meets ghost hunting programme. Maybe we'll get auditions done in that green camera thing too.

Jimmy Somerville sure has let things slide

Even Louis can't say yes to this Irish fella.

Calamitously I live on an Army barracks, there has been some sort of sports day for one of the regiments, now they are having a party!

No seriously, why is Mingeheads face so swollen?

Timing issues? Arf.

Subtitles are awesome. They keep putting (off key) just in case we didn't know

Rudy

(Off key)

Poor things. Celebrating with an oasis tribute.

Queen Kristina? Argh.

Is it very wrong that I loathe anyone that describes anything they do as an 'art project'?

'IM MAD, ME'

'Into the stratosphere'. This is going to be one who comes back for the comedy bit in the final.

Queen Christina was rumoured to have shagged her horse, they say. But that was probably the medieval equivalent of a Twitter rumour.

That's the sound I make when I stand on an upturned plug

She would be great in a Mozart week

That was Catherine, Boffles. Christina was beheaded for crimes against music, fashion and rational thought

She's rolling her eyes like a 5yo!

I like that people get to watch the horror before they go in. Ramps up the nerves.

She gets a really positive reaction from her cats.