X FACTOR- Auditions -WEEK 2! Will we see any more sneaky returnees? 8pm tonight!

[Raahh]

So, after last week, with the super posh Chloe-Jasmine, who has auditioned before (when she was considerably less posh), and Jay James, the ex-Navy guy who had already an album- who will Simon and his mates pretend to be astounded by this week?

Will we see the mean side of Mel B? Will everyone stop fawning over Chezza? Will Louis utter a sentence that makes sense?

And where are the ARENA bits?!

So many questions, so little alcohol.

Off out to buy snacks- see you all later!

Jesus I didn't even notice his beard until just now

I do like the song Charlie sang. His voice was quite gravelly.

Where's his eyebrow gone?

Simon is coming across in an extremely masculine fashion. Not camp at all, no siree.

Ooh - Black Van Man is good.

snice - is true. But he can't be released now. he's been there too long.

Arf @ noël. Mortifying indeed.

Sch-it singer!

Who is this one with the landing strip beard?

He's definitely getting the glad eye from all of them. They are picturing mattresses in that van.

Cheryl's in lust.

He's good but does the poo squats

Did he take one eyebrow off and stick it wonky like on his CHIN? Cos that is sure what it looks like

His look is very 2004.

Almost retro.

Never mind the voice. It's the eyebrows and shit beard that need commenting on here.

He's quite chunky of thigh

very spikey poo.

you're right Rudolph-he just wouldn't cope out in the wild any more

He's got a bit of crazy eye going on

Matter of time before your man does praying hands. I'm telling you now

Rudolph: that is exactly what it looks like.

I quite fancied him

Squoosh

I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating biscuits 0898

Simon seems to have forgotten some people come on this programme because they can't be arsed putting in years of graft. That's why he hasn't got a record deal.

Squoosh