X FACTOR- Auditions -WEEK 2! Will we see any more sneaky returnees? 8pm tonight!

[Raahh]

So, after last week, with the super posh Chloe-Jasmine, who has auditioned before (when she was considerably less posh), and Jay James, the ex-Navy guy who had already an album- who will Simon and his mates pretend to be astounded by this week?

Will we see the mean side of Mel B? Will everyone stop fawning over Chezza? Will Louis utter a sentence that makes sense?

And where are the ARENA bits?!

So many questions, so little alcohol.

Off out to buy snacks- see you all later!

I miss Nan Fucker

Doin' it for his Nan. Least I think that was his Nan.

We could have sequinned pleather and feathers if we're really un lucky.

Ds1 has suggested that he'd take the money and leave the live final. Wise boy.

I would bet my last pound we will see an unlucky contestant in these at some point during the live shows!

The Always ad with Brahms lullaby playing like a nappy ad is just WRONG.

This always advert is clearly based on the pampers staple of baby wriggling around in a cot.

Cal- yes. It is creepy.

Argh the pleather dungarees. Now I'll have the ads following me around the internet again.

Missing NanFucker just shows how bad things have got, doesn't it?

Where has the Mel b gone from a couple of years ago , the blunt one,that's what I was looking forward to! She's too soft

Bus stalking and KFC. Both bad life choices.

Anyone recognise Robert Pattinson's sister?

I think Paul Ross should audition, he's got a juicy sob story of snorting meow meow off his gay lover on a Birmingham ring road.

Fizzy- i didn't like that Mel- but now i think she is intimidated by Simon. He is Mr Blunt, so she has to be a bit meh.

Oooh was that well bred young gel Pattinson's sis?

She had a posh girl face.

What is Mel's skirt supposed to be?

Saying 'mel B is from here' doesn't make the area better.

Which one was she?

Leeds! Ah've been to Leeds! Ah grew oop in a house! Me too! Representin'

This poor girl will not like what the stylists want to do with her. At all.

That's the sexual diversity and piercing diversity boxes ticked.

I suspect she cannot sing any stronger than this, and it will take them weeks of agonised breathy clawing to find out. Still, just in time for the Johnny Lou Lou's ad...

I've never been to Leeds. I feel as though I've failed at life.

She will hate being forced into pleather.