X FACTOR- Auditions -WEEK 2! Will we see any more sneaky returnees? 8pm tonight!

[Raahh]

So, after last week, with the super posh Chloe-Jasmine, who has auditioned before (when she was considerably less posh), and Jay James, the ex-Navy guy who had already an album- who will Simon and his mates pretend to be astounded by this week?

Will we see the mean side of Mel B? Will everyone stop fawning over Chezza? Will Louis utter a sentence that makes sense?

And where are the ARENA bits?!

So many questions, so little alcohol.

Off out to buy snacks- see you all later!

Simon is a truly bizarre colour on my tv too. More so than usual.

Arena!!

ARENA!

There are a lot of guitars about.

Quirky popstrel with tales of school hi jinks.

No weegies please, I'm still reeling from Nicky McDonald last year and his hard as nails maw.

Simon looks dipdyed on mine. Has like an ombre thing going from a peach hairline to a jaffa chest...

'I stink of fish'

love him.

Why aren't there any groups??

I'm pretty sure quirky girl's mum is considerably less scary. (And absolute does not go by 'maw').

Is the fishing industry sponsoring this series? If I hear one more tale of fishy woe...........

Excellent. Chip shop guy. If he gets through to the live show he'll have lost a stone and be wrapped in pleather

Bless him- I hope he doesn't jump in the fryer, cos they'd not work it out fast enough to save him.

There's a real fish theme. 2014, the year of the fish.

Maybe the simon dip dye will be the next big think in fake tanning.

Wow in a good way?

Chip shop man needs to step away from the skinny parsnip jeans
How did he get all those tattoos at sixteen? Sharpie?

The poor boy may be destined for pleather.

I lurk to you? Is he stalking?

Hate that chewy word thing, but he has a nice tone.

Tone to his voice obv. Not his body.

He didn't turn into Whitney. That would have been awful.

Yes! You're like a little....

He's like a little beaver did she say?

Little diva. So, sequinned pleather then.

I imagine Whitney whiffs a bit now. Probably not of fish.

So, er, how old was he...??