They were never this sexy as cartoon dogs! Musketeers Wenchnet chat part V

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

And so it continues. Please join in for our continued celebration of sexy beardy men with swords in leather trousers! If you have any ideas on how to get dodgy stains out of leather then please let us know in this thread. Of course I'm speaking about salad cream. What else would it be?

Part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

Phew re the football.

Poor Hannah. You might rally for 9pm?

How about 'musketeers wenchnet chat part sex...er...six'?

Twit

Do you know what Malcolm... I'm going to have a good old proper self indulgent whinge now...

He has NEVER looked after me when I've been ill. Never cooked for me, apart from maybe 5 times in 12 yrs of shove in the oven type affair so not exactly efforty stuff. He never did anything on Mothers day. Never did anything on Valentines day. Never did anything romantic for me/us. Never paid me compliments. Never took me out. Never bought me spontaneous flowers or gifts. Christmas and Birthdays were a running joke of non existence or ultra crapoid.

If I asked, because I had to ask - it wouldn't have been voluntary - 'how do I look?'... the best I would get is a 'yeah, you look nice' in a voice that suggested anything but. Or I'd get a constructive break down of whether x went with y.

What I would've given for a 'you look well fit' or similar, JUST ONCE!

And d'ya know what the worst of it is.... he's a nice guy. And I just told myself the rest was unimportant because he was a nice guy.

Well fucking Shame. On. Me!

What a twat I am. But never again, oh no. I'll be single 'til I die, rather than settle for that again. I'm not bothered about the material stuff, but the effort making, and romance need cost nothing.

THIS RANT IS NOW CLOSED.

Yes I was trying to stab a white lump with a cotton bud earlier

that is not why I feel worse

I have to say, in terms of rallying, that little rant then got the blood pumping. Think I'm going to shove some soup at dd, while I have a bath. Then swap with her. I think I might just have to drink on through the pain. If I do that, surely it will anaesthetise me somewhat??

Laxatives in his coffee?

Itching powder in his bed?

Walk along a cliff path on a windy day?

Oh rubbish rubbish RL Hannah

A drink can't hurt can it? What about Athosduvet on sofa at 9 if you are still awake?

Can we look up past mn threads to find the nastiest, most vindictive things, to do to Hannah's xp?

I drew a picture of Athos pummelling Hannah to within an inch of her life and I'm still here, so I think you'll be ok Twit.

Twit the BBC must officially 'own' half the pics that we've posted on here so if the shit hits the fan we're all in the Bastille together

...which may not be a bad thing?

two and a half hours
Yeah, get yourself prepped for sleeping on the sofa or bed (wherever you will watch it) so if you fall asleep you're ok.

Poor you hannah life is shit sometimes, but one day you will find someone decent and romantic. In the mean time you've got us and Athos.

Ffs why don't they just pull the fuses out of the fucking barrels of gunpowder? Eh? They didn't do it when dog was in trouble and now Porthos.
Gaaaaah!

I'll have a go tomorrow, in peace. But not spoilers until everyone has seen it.

RL and Muskeperving collided weirdly yesterday when I had to iron 5 billowy linen shirts and gave myself a nasty burn through careless iron wielding. Decided that I'm not going to volunteer as Aramis' live-in housekeeper/mistress - those shirts are a right old pain to iron, and back in 1630, would have been a lot worse.

Oh a whole page suddenly appeared then!

Hannah you've been with the wrong bloke. You seem to me like a woman who DESERVES to be lusted after. You are funny, you are sharp, you are clearly very passionate and deep and those attributes are very sexy because they equate to intelligence. Someone on your wavelength will be waiting somewhere for a fit bird like you. I guess xp is probably rather dim in comparison to you and that is why it hasn't worked. Where someone not so feisty would have probably "settled" deep down you have realised that this is no way to live.

You're only 35! You are young you have a young DD but not so young that she is useless when you have your back turned for a minute. You have a good few years of baby making left too! You are IN YOUR PRIME. When you're feeling better just take the bull by the horns and just go. If you think about it...really think about it...you could go ANYWHERE. The irony is you wouldn't ever be too far away from a fellow wench who I'm pretty sure would be able to guide you in the right direction for a better life. 6 months from now the sun will be shining, you will be tanned as fuck DD could be settled in a new school and you could be out finding mr right and getting the attention YOU DESERVE.

Life, sadly, is too short not to make something positive from something negative. Do it for Athos and his miserable fucking face.

Oh hello Cinnamoncookie!! nice of you to pop by just in time.

Do it for Athos and his miserable fucking face.

Wahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Oh Hannah . He is just a dimwit. Too stoopid to appreciate your Talents.

When you get your imminent first semi porn novel published, and the royalties come rolling in, he will kick himself.

A natural beauty I am not. But I scrub up well. I got dressed up to go out last night, with Aspergers ladies. Green dress, killer black heels, huge dangly earrings.
"you look bootiful (aka Bernard Matthews) mummy" was the chorus from ds2,ds1 and dh.
And I am not beautiful. By any stretch of the imagination. But I look damn fine when I make the effort.

If I can get it, you can too. You deserve it. Don't give this this tit another thought!!

Am genuinely a heap of snot and tears after reading that lot. Am sat on the crapper mid crap so a beautiful picture I maketh not.

I could go on about details of why I've put up for so long, but it's all irrelevant now and too close to outing myself so I won't.

Let's just say in a really cheesy, but I feel necessary way, that this thread and you ladies have come but for me, at just the right time. That goes for the whole of MN . But mainly you.

Sincerely.

.... and in other news I just found a ropey old packet of alka seltzer in my bag. It was a bit sticky and crumby, but still intact and in date. I've just had that - thinking the soluble factor will mean quick absorbency to my tonsils as well as the caffeine kick.

I'm feeling perkier already. Just going to have bath and settle on which flavour crisps to have for dinner with wine. I'm hoping they can scrape the crap off my throat.

Thanks

I liked the bit about the Bastille.

Can we arrange that please?....

Fuck it I am going home and will do it after Musketeers. I deserve a break.

I am coming

Dreams of MN musketeers trip to Prague.
God I love Prague. Been 3 times. Probably my most favourite place. Dh was also most impressed.

Not that he wound be. If I went off on done wusk-wenching-hormone-racing-dripping musketeers rampage!!

Books herself in now.....
Which dates, you say? Oh yes , funnily enough,
'I'm free' !!

Reunion at the Bastille!

imagine chosen Musketeer or the cardinal chasing you around

Re dates - mid-May onwards. Gives em a chance to be done with the poxy riding hats & into the leather

Yep - May all clear here too. Put my name down.