X FACTOR- it's semi-final week- Beyonce versus Elton John

[Raahh]

Well, not literally, obviously. No fighting in the ring, Voice-stylee (my money would be on Bouncy).

No- this week, our beloved acts are performing 2 songs- a Beyonce one, and an Elton on.

Here are the songs:

Luke Friend
Best Thing I Never Had
Something About The Way You Look Tonight

Nicholas McDonald
Halo
Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me

Rough Copy
Survivor
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Sam Bailey
If I Were A Boy
Candle In The Wind

Whoever suggested 'Cnadle in the Wind' for ScrewLoose last week, wins the Internet. Congratulations.

Rumours abound that Duff Copy will leave. I hope not.

I'm really sad no-one is doing 'Circle of Life'. In costume

I'm off to the school Christmas fair late. I'm going to need a lot of .

[SuePurblybilt]

'blessed' with two songs?
Mmm. Matter of opinion, that.

[CPtart]

Nicole's dress is sliding lower down her body by the minute

[Raahh]

'pre-chorus'

is that the verse, Nicole?

[CalamitouslyWrong]

He's not from Glasgow though Louis.

[SuePurblybilt]

pre-chorus

I like the pre-intro best. And the post-finale.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

Post-finale is always excellent!

[SayCoolNowSayWhip]

Pretty sure that's called a bridge, Nicole...

Another one for the Nictionary.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

Don't let this be shazza's year.

[Raahh]

oh, here we go.

Please don't let it be Shazza's year.

[BitOfFunWithSanta]

I do like Loose Screw.

[SuePurblybilt]

Loose taking her chances with the dog shit there

[Raahh]

Please don't fall off the swing. No, please.

[SuePurblybilt]

Dammit and they didn't do the cop costume
Chickens.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

What is this pushing on a swing bit supposed to achieve? Are the producers just really cross that Joan went out before they got the chance to pull out the swing?

[Raahh]

Another optical illusion dress, that doesn't work.

[BitOfFunWithSanta]

It does kind of show what a good singer Bouncy is though. If they can make Elton look good, they're in trouble.

[SuePurblybilt]

Arf at swing-loss frustration. Could be.

Another Derren Brown dress for Loose Screw there. Cunning.

[TSSDNCOP]

The Stylist doesn't want this one t win. WTAF I that she's wearing. Awful shoulders and hips as wide a runway.

[Raahh]

I bet's she's sung this before, on't cruise ships.

I can't warm to her.

[IamInvisible]

She's borrowed Hannah's wet look leggings!

[HermioneWeasley]

Epic style fail with Sam this week. She does have a brilliant voice though.

[SuePurblybilt]

All these things just make Bouncy sound amazing
Though Loose is better than most, granted.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

It's because the stylists can't get their heads around the whole TV thing. They just dress them for being on a big stage a long way from the audience.

At least she can sing the song. That's something.

[SeaDevilscanPlay]

She is morphing into Micahel Bolton

[BitOfFunWithSanta]

Wardrobe needs incarcerating after this, and for LooseScreew to set about her with a truncheon.