Meet Britain's Chinese Tiger Mums BBC 2 Now!

[sailorsgal]

I think I'm going to feel like a bad mother.

Scream, shouting and throwing books is not the same as corporal punishment, and although lots of people would be shocked, it is still much better than beating.
Also I'm talking about in the home & amongst HK families where using a stick to punish was common but now I know none that do it! I think it is always easier to look for negatives, in the cities girls are treasured as much as boys but these views will take some time to be the norm in the countryside. Also the three women shown in the show were all highly educated showing their own parents never valued them less!

Can someone please link me to the programme on iPlayer? I can't find it! Thank you.

I think the comments on this thread are extreme at times, but guess everyones entitled to their opinion.
It is a huge cultural thing, in their culture this is 'the way' it's done, all families do it so it is seen as the only way. As said previously China is not a welfare state. In their country if you are jobless or unable to support your family, you do not get benefits like we do. The consequences of not achieving at school to be able to get qualifications for a good job are far far greater than in our society. I wouldn't say the children shown were visibly unhappy.
I think Asian view of childhood is very different from our own, but neither are neccesarily wrong or right.

Bfs lives in HK and, although not from there originally themselves, their dcs certainly are educated in a similar manner. On the way to school dc1 (6) will do Mandarin on their Ipad and after school there is a strict timetable of ECAs, either provided by the school or ferried to by their maid.

Interestingly, their dc2 (just 4) is not exhibiting the same academic qualities and it is a big cause for concern for the parents and the school because they cannot concentrate for any length of time but just want to play. Child psychologist now involved.

However, I attended a London prep school in the 70s (equal mix of White Jewish, Hindu and Other (am Other myself!) and it was just the same then and it was with a wry smile and almost fondness that I watched this programme

I tell you the kids in hong kong are a pleasure to teach. I cannot say the same for British kids. My experience is that Chinese kids and people are more hard working than us Brits.their culture respects hard work and education.
China is going to leave us behind. Believe me.
It is easy to knock their approach but they do not know the soft safety net culture we have become spoilt by.
I respect the Chinese work ethic.

Why do so many British Chinese become doctors....pharmacists etc?
Whilst the British kids choose media studies.
They are brought up knowing how to work hard and to expect much of life will be hard work. I think that is a gift from parents somehow.

Same as SHThread, can someone post the iplayer link please?

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b019873g/Wonderland_Series_4_Meet_Britains_Chinese_Tiger_Mums/

Thank you Zhen

Tigers are so passe. We are dragons this year.

Fellatio I think you have it wrong when mentioning noses. The whole issue is more abstract. Think, more of Diane Abbott's comment about 'divide and rule'- and also think of her being rightly made to apologise for this by Milliband. We could all have a laugh ridiculing each other. The trouble at the end of the day is that stereotypes make it easy to dehumanise.
You, for example, are not just a slightly bigger nose. You are far more complex and valuable than that.

No-one's a dragon until the 23rd!

It's my year this year (but I'm not telling you how old I am :o)

Thank you for the link!

there must be a balance surely of supporting them academically and showing them that there is an expectation to do well and achieve but not at the cost of their childhood. I have 2 musically able boys age 7&9 and grades 5&7 on piano. I help them practise every day and am as proud as punch of them. However they never do longer than 30mins and I balance it with fun trips and lots of playtime. How bad a morher would I be not to encourage a talent?

Mozart wasn't just a musical genius.His father Leopold was Tiger Dad with knobs on. The child was doing concerts in court by the age of 3. He died a pauper at the age of 36. Was this successful parenting I wonder?

I'm involved with the clinical training of medical students at work and come across quite a few students who have been pushed through the tiger parenting method. This is not just Chinese students but every nationality including Indian, white, black , Jewish. All these students are academically able but what I find a lot of them lack, is empathy with patients and an intolerance of weakness in others. I think being told you have to the best all the time can make people feel life is always a competition and they become quite hard in order to cope with the pressure. I've observed a lot of these medics end up as surgeons, pathologists or in medical research where social skills are not a priority.

Janacek - no I don't think it was successful parenting, and is very sad - as much as I enjoy Mozart and the world has a wonderful legacy of music left behind from him.

NYr, that is a bit like the UK in parts. We got our children into very selective schools at 4 or 5 and then as you say abroad that works through generally how they do as they go on in life. I am not particularly a tiger parent compared to many but without doubt children into whom effort is put do better at that. The only reason our 5 have a load of grade 8 music exams is because that was a direction we put them in. Had it been football or ice skating they could similarly have done well.

As J says if you sit with children and encourage them they do well. However we all then decide what elements of force or otherwise we wish to use and plenty of families in my view take it to far too high an extreme. I want them to have lots of free time, hobbies, social skills and fun and the ability to bring a rounded person to an employer.

Outliers, a book I just read, said studies show 10,000 hours can make you good at something. Bill Gates who dropped out of college did at least 10,000 hours of programming. The Young Mozart woudl have done at least that. the Beatles in Berlin did 6 days a wek 6 hour sessions when they were starting out. I am pretty good at singing/music (it's just a hobby) and that will simply because of the hours I put in (and enjoyed). I am one of the best at what I do in my work in the UK and have been doing it without a break for 28 years so yes I got quite good at it. A lot of life is about effort as much as talent.

Mumzy I'd absolutely agree with the way the tiger parenting alters the kids emotional response to other people. Failure isn't an option so they can't see why other would/could do so.

I watched the programme by accident. I just ignored the silly part, or some parts didn't reflect the real Chinese soul at all,( not worth an debate here).
I am impressed with the 6,10 years old Mum who is speaking good English: I believe my son can do it, we don't take failure, or some similiare meanings.

I totally agree with that!

You chidren can do it or not depends on how much you are expecting from them. Chinese parents are expecting a lot from their children, we SHOULD too!