13-year old bumping into me in the kitchen

[Jarstastic]

This seems a small thing compared to some of the drama from an elder sibling, but it’s getting me down.

13-year old son will want something from a drawer or cupboard (usually in the kitchen but sometimes in another room) and if I’m standing in front of it, he opens it regardless! Like I’m not there. I have reiterated it over and over. he says sorry. I have previously said sorry doesn’t mean anything without changed behaviour.

He has now started saying excuse me, but then carries on regardless, doesn’t wait for me to respond or move. I’m not sure if he does this to other people as others aren’t around so much these days.

He did it again yesterday, opened dishwasher when I was in front of it and I got bashed by it. His father was at the kitchen table and told him, he said sorry and his father said it’s not good enough to say sorry anymore, you’re doing it regularly. You are a big boy (he is now a few inches taller than me and fairly solid), stop barging in. He is a tad childish for his age.

10 minutes later (!) he said excuse me but then opened cupboard door into me. I got upset and said you didn’t even give me one second to move. Father heard it, came in and was not impressed and took him to another room, had a serious chat with him, then sent him to bed.

This morning, I was in the kitchen stirring milk into my coffee, he comes into the kitchen gets a bowl out of the bowl cupboard, then comes over to where I’m standing, opens the drawer with spoons, straight into my stomach!!

I know this is a completely different thought ( but everyone else is already talking about your question anyway so I thought I’d ask )
Are you always standing in front of some sort of cupboard or drawer in the kitchen because this seems to be happening a lot to you.
Or is the kitchen very small

Also shocked
My kids got their own breakfasts whilst still primary aged, maybe 6/7, plus they washed up their plates after.
I can’t even begin to imagine why I’d be doing all that up until they were 16.

What?! 😂😂😂. OP please don't start serving your inconsiderate 13 year old breakfast.

I also would be banning from the kitchen If I'm in there.

😲

Can you move house? Your kitchen sound flipping tiny. That and the chronically clumsy child, something has to give.

I'd be shutting the cupboard or drawer as fast as it was opened into you, irrespective of whether hands were in the way! He'll soon learn if he gets a finger trapped. Sorry, but if he won't change his behavior, then it calls for drastic measures.

I have a small kitchen and neither of my boys 13 and 15, open doors or drawers into me. They say excuse me, wait and then open them. He needs to learn not to barge in every day.

I hope this is a joke 🙄
Yeah just move house !
Like that's simple.

You’re definitely back peddling. Your response to a post about breakfast was why are they doing it. We all know what you meant.

Either he is very rude or has issues with you. Issues which he is unaware of. Or he may be suffering from dysplasia. Has he always been clumsy?

Do you mean dyspraxia?

No I am not. I definitely do think a 13 year old would be better off getting his breakfast done for him. So yes, why is he doing it himself and for obvs reasons getting in the way. Breakfast wouldn't work for us as some sort of free for all activity.

So that's several individual bowls of washing up water? Not eco, plus 6 year old has better things to be doing than chores

What age do you think children should start to become independent?

They can become independent by helping out from time to time and learning cooking from an early age. If they got up late in hols as teens they got their breakfast. Otherwise it was family time, I thought Mumsnetters liked that

😳😳😳😳😳

Sorry just read this post and now I’ve posted realised this all kicked off 😄. This post probably sums up in one sentence what is wrong with so many kids nowadays 🙄🤦‍♀️

In hols if sleeping in but we have family meals. It's a good thing.

We eat together if we're in the dining room at the same time but no way am I getting a bowl of cereal or making toast for a child who can do it themselves!

I would hope that all parents support encouraging children to contribute to their family. Expecting service at 13 is not that. Attempting to judge someone else for raising an independent self sufficient teen is also not that.

😂

It's not chores it's life skills. I was brought up in the household where I have to do nothing because my mum had been brought up in abject neglect and wanted us to be looked after. She was also obsessive about the place being tidy.
I left home at 18 unable to cook properly, wash my own clothes, iron, hoover, clean etc. It was a massive shock and took me several years to learn it all!

Mine have been making their own breakfasts and packed lunches from around 6/7 most days. They all now cook us meals regularly and sort their own washing.

I'm sorry your experience wasn't good and I see what you mean re chores.

I do want to be clear though that our DC didn't skip learning to cook, wash etc.

Oh dear - only one way is right for you. Whereas I say do things the way it suits your family.

Yet you’re opening comment was one of judgement.