Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

[Springhare76]

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

It’s not the law! Are you insane?

@llizzie

Why don't you answer questions?

You don't understand the law you are quoting, and you are also making up laws that don't exist.

Again, it's a bit of a worry if you are more concerned about your content insurance than your kids (that thankfully you haven't got)

Have I refused to say what the difference is? I consider it to be an unnecessary question. How can anyone? You might as well ask how long a piece of string is. In some respects, what you ask is impossible to answer.

You cannot generalise and say those two ages have no difference between them.

You cannot qualify such a remark without knowing who they are.

Id someone of 18years has a mental age of 15, would you be able to comment on what category to put them in? Would you still say that someone older who had a mental age of 15 could be left alone for a week?

Why not let the law decide, and not leave minor children alone for a week?

If you are insulting me in order to make me too afraid to post lest you discredit me to others, you are taking away my freedom of speech and doing it very distastefully.

I quoted the laws. If you do not like them, what does it matter, but you cannot keep telling me I am wrong and influence other posters, because I am not.

Buzz off and leave your children to fend for themselves - thousands do, every year, so why not you?

I stick to the moral high ground. I obey the law because the law is right. If you argue against the law, you are wrong, but, hey, what does it matter? You can swan off and leave your children, and probably feel sure they will be ok.

What would you do if you had an accident on holiday and couldn't tell anyone you left your kids at home alone?

It is all about you, is it?

@llizzie
oh you're back?
Are you quite all right? Your last 2 posts do not make any sense at all 😂

you are taking away my freedom of speech
no, I just asked you a couple of questions and you are waffling to avoid replying to them. Making up laws that do not even exist doesn't help you.

To go against the grain, I think it's fine

So I am wrong and you are right?

The law says that if you leave minor children alone for a week and they are at risk, you will be prosecuted, because a parent should be aware of the risks in leaving minor children alone for a week.

They are at risk as soon as they open the door to their friends, and so are your possessions, and if you think the insurers will pay up for lost/stolen/damaged items, they will not.

If you think your children are able to care for themselves, then go off and enjoy yourself. The law doesn't give an age when you can leave them alone, but try convincing the arresting officer you are innocent when your minor children are in any sort of difficulty.

No doubt you could calm their fears of you having an accident while you are away. If your minor children are confident you will return, fine, but have you asked them? Have you left all the info they need to know, where you are going, who with, where staying, all the connections? Is it kind to leave minor children like that, to worry if you are coming back or not?

What do you suppose the law to be?

Apart from it being a recipe for disaster .
Someone locally did this and there was all sorts of fall out, not least lots of phone calls to the kids school and local authorities from some neighbours who found it outrageous. Isn’t it illegal?

By those ages, they should be pretty self sufficient, I would think. You know their capabilities best. Of course, just make sure they have food and supplies, know what to do in case of emergencies, have a curfew to be home by, etc. You could set up cameras in the house/driveway as a means of preventing wild parties, and have their father or a neighbor come by to check in on them.

My parents left me alone a few times at that age, and all I did was read books and walk around the house nude lol. I didn’t do a good job of cleaning up after myself during, but I tried to clean up before they got home in the hopes they would trust me with more alone time.

There is no law to say you can’t leave a 17 year old. There isn’t. Feel free to link one if you find it?
To be fair there also isn’t one about leaving a 15 year old either…

Yes I am right and you are wrong (in many ways).

They are not minor children they are teenagers one of whom is practically an adult.

I stopped going on holiday with my parents at a similar age and we had an agreement that worked well. Grandma was about 10 minutes from the family home and I had to sleep there and be in her house by 9pm every night. But I had a key to the family home and could come and go as I please during the day. It worked well and I was normally at grandma's for the night by around 6pm as I knew I would get dinner cooked for me if I was around at that time.
But I was a very straight laced kid and my idea of going wild why the parents were away was getting a large pick and mix from Wilko's and eating it all by myself.

This is what it says on Gov.co.uk:

The law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it's an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.

The NSPCC says children under 16 should not be left alone for a long period of time. Children under 16 should not be left alone overnight. Babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone.

Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health.

It is there on the Gov.co.uk website. You keep telling me I am wrong.

Why? Why would you want people to think they can leave their minor children on their own?

There may be readers of the posts who don't know the law, yet when I write it out word by word, you tell everyone that I am wrong. Why would you do that? Is it to discredit me, or to stop me posting - to take away my right to speak?

I am not rude or abusive. I do not use bad language. I write what the law says. Why on earth do you think it necessary to tell other posters I am wrong.

Have I said anything which is unlawful? No, yet what you say is unlawful, because you just keep saying parents can do what they like. I just add that if the children are vulnerable to outside abuse while left alone for a week, the parents will be punished. Maybe some parents are willing to take that risk?

Do what you like. I'm not stopping you, just stating what the government says.

This!! Totally agree with you people are just defensive cos they leave their kids on their own when they shouldn’t be

I still don’t see a law that says you can’t leave a 17 year old alone?? That’s because it’s not the law.

Stop talking about ‘minor children’. They are not children they are teenagers (many about 6ft tall) that are about to be adults and should be perfectly capable of looking after themselves. If leaving them alone is ‘putting them at risk’ then your parenting is crap and you haven’t equipped them with the necessary skills they will need at 18 when they will leave home….

You’re basically lumping teenagers in with toddlers - which doesn’t help your argument. The above law/advice clearly is for young children.

My 6ft 1 16 and a half year old would not appreciate being called a ‘minor child’.

My mum and dad used to leave me and my brother at that age. I was 15 and he was 17, two weeks in summer and 1 week in Autumn or Spring. Never an issue.

You aren’t listening to what she saying, and height doesn’t have anything to do with it

I left dd at 16 for 6 days. Ds was at uni, age 18, but 2as home for maybe three of the days to sit his driving test. In laws were nearby. Nobody dies

What do you mean by lumping teenagers in with toddlers? That is what it says in the government site. Why confine myself to one age? What point in taking something out of context when describing the law?

You are in denial.

I win you lose. I repeat: that is what the government says about leaving minor children on their own. You can do that at any age, but you will be breaking the law. There will always be evidence that the children are at risk, so why bring ages into it anyway?

The OP asks if she should. I advised against it. You have not made me change my mind, and your continually denying the law is dangerous.

DO NOT keep encouraging parents to leave their minor children alone overnight, and especially not for a week. You must stop telling people children on any age can be left alone. It is not true. Risk is easily proven.

If you leave your children under age 18 alone for a week, under 16 alone for one night, you will be deemed to have placed your child at risk.

Have you considered their fear that something might prevent you from returning? You mentioned flights, which indicates that you intend to travel far from them.

The problem with leaving a long list of contacts and what they should do is that will make them worry all the more.

Just watching the news should be enough to stop you thinking of leaving them. How would you feel if they just went off on their own? Wouldn't you be worrying about your minor children? Children worry about parents too.

Do you think it was right to do that, enough to leave your children?

Thank you for your support.

She may be one of those posters who just oppose everyone, but it is dangerous to try to influence people to break the law.

They're not fearful at all about me not returning. They don't live their lives in fear, unlike you and you offspring. They're confident, resilient kids who are HAPPY at the prospect of having the house to themselves for a few days. You obviously cannot wrap your tiny mind around that.

She's not listening because you're talking nonsense dear. Height as a lot to do with it if you're talking about the risk of physical violence.

Llizzie, you are talking rubbish. It is simply wrong to say it's unlawful to leave children of 17 and 15 alone. There is no law that says kids of this age cannot be left alone. It is only unlawful if leaving them if it places them at risk which it doesn't given that there are both competent individuals who can cook, feed, wash, cloth and entertain themselves without my assistance and who have been travelling independently around London, including at night, since the age of 11. The 17 year old has been mugged at knife point several times (shock, horror, I was in the house when that happened and it made not one bit of difference) and had lived to tell the tale. Both are strong, confident and capable individuals. I did my job. Unlike you, Have a feeling your kids may still be living at home at 40.