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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

667 replies

Springhare76 · 14/05/2025 23:15

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

OP posts:
BruFord · 22/05/2025 23:59

I’d be ok with a 17-year-old home alone for a week, although would feel more comfortable at 18 when they’re legally an adult.

15, no, I feel that they’re too young and their sibling isn’t quite old enough to be the responsible adult.

I’d tell your youngest that he needs to stay with his Dad.

Original poster
Springhare76 · 23/05/2025 09:24

Thanks Bruford. They have both agreed to stay with their dad but can come and hang out in the house during the day, plus we've changed our dates so we're now only away until mid week. So sorted.

OP posts:
Delatron · 23/05/2025 09:37

llizzie · 22/05/2025 23:13

Thank you for your support.

She may be one of those posters who just oppose everyone, but it is dangerous to try to influence people to break the law.

Show quote history

I am not encouraging people to break the law. You are making up laws that don’t exist. You really have failed spectacularly as a parent if you can’t leave a 17 year old. They go off to Uni at 18!

Delatron · 23/05/2025 09:39

Emonade · 22/05/2025 22:39

You aren’t listening to what she saying, and height doesn’t have anything to do with it

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She is saying it is against the law to leave a 17 year old. Which is completely wrong. Sorry for sticking to the facts in the face of hysteria…

Delatron · 23/05/2025 09:40

Springhare76 · 23/05/2025 09:24

Thanks Bruford. They have both agreed to stay with their dad but can come and hang out in the house during the day, plus we've changed our dates so we're now only away until mid week. So sorted.

Sounds like a perfect solution. Less stressful for you too.

Natsku · 23/05/2025 09:41

If leaving a 17yr old and 15yr old, with no SEN, alone for a week is putting them at risk then that is because their parents have been too lazy to teach them how to look after themselves.

Delatron · 23/05/2025 09:56

Natsku · 23/05/2025 09:41

If leaving a 17yr old and 15yr old, with no SEN, alone for a week is putting them at risk then that is because their parents have been too lazy to teach them how to look after themselves.

Exactly!

Todaysworldandbiscuits · 23/05/2025 10:38

Natsku · 23/05/2025 09:41

If leaving a 17yr old and 15yr old, with no SEN, alone for a week is putting them at risk then that is because their parents have been too lazy to teach them how to look after themselves.

I honestly think some parents have difficulty in affording their kids, the right of passage to grow up. Some I have known baby them so much. The children are more than capable of looking after themselves, it is like the parents don't want them to, and treat them like they're alot younger than they are. Dh's parents were this way; they didn't want to let their kids grow up, because maybe then they would have to admit they were the older generation. They almost had a breakdown when we had kids, couldn't admit they were grandparents, still treat dh like a kid! This has caused a great deal of tension between them all, and now no contact for a host of reasons.
It is ridiculous, let your children grow up ffs!

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 23/05/2025 11:21

llizzie · 22/05/2025 21:49

This is what it says on Gov.co.uk:

The law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it's an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.

The NSPCC says children under 16 should not be left alone for a long period of time. Children under 16 should not be left alone overnight. Babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone.

Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health.

It is there on the Gov.co.uk website. You keep telling me I am wrong.

Why? Why would you want people to think they can leave their minor children on their own?

There may be readers of the posts who don't know the law, yet when I write it out word by word, you tell everyone that I am wrong. Why would you do that? Is it to discredit me, or to stop me posting - to take away my right to speak?

I am not rude or abusive. I do not use bad language. I write what the law says. Why on earth do you think it necessary to tell other posters I am wrong.

Have I said anything which is unlawful? No, yet what you say is unlawful, because you just keep saying parents can do what they like. I just add that if the children are vulnerable to outside abuse while left alone for a week, the parents will be punished. Maybe some parents are willing to take that risk?

Do what you like. I'm not stopping you, just stating what the government says.

Show quote history

sigh...

the NSPCC is not "the government", it's a charity...
Charities don't make the law.

The law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own
do you read what you actually write? 😂

The NSPCC says children under 16 should not be left alone for a long period of time. Children under 16 should not be left alone overnight.
even if it's true, and makes no sense, good thing there's a 17 yo at home then isn't it?

Why on earth do you think it necessary to tell other posters I am wrong.
because you are.

You are confusing your very strange opinions with facts. You can't quote "the law" because there isn't one.

No doubt you could calm their fears of you having an accident while you are away. If your minor children are confident you will return, fine, but have you asked them?
well people die of all sorts of accidents, in London as well as anywhere else, and people even died victims of terrorist attacks in London. CHILDREN are fine. Teenagers even more.

If the kids you haven't got are as paranoid as you, you are the one with the problem.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 23/05/2025 11:23

Natsku · 23/05/2025 09:41

If leaving a 17yr old and 15yr old, with no SEN, alone for a week is putting them at risk then that is because their parents have been too lazy to teach them how to look after themselves.

100% this

Lougle · 23/05/2025 11:33

It is not illegal. It is also not necessarily irresponsible. It could be, but it's situational. My 2 girls were absolutely safe to be left, with support from relatives available within 1 mile.

BashfulClam · 23/05/2025 12:50

llizzie · 22/05/2025 23:10

Do you think it was right to do that, enough to leave your children?

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I can’t have children. There was never any issue as me and my brother just got on with it, what else could we do? My dad had employer specific leave too so his leave was always during the school year so rather than risk our exams they left us behind. I’m not scarred etc

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:05

Delatron · 21/05/2025 09:44

Honestly I think there is something wrong with you. This doesn’t make sense.

Show quote history

Then the law passers are also wrong?

By telling posters that I am wrong, when I take the information given out by the UK Government on their site, you are actually encouraging parents who are not familiar with UK law to break the law.

Why would you want to do that? Is it that you take a negativistic attitude to everything?

Natsku · 24/05/2025 17:09

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:05

Then the law passers are also wrong?

By telling posters that I am wrong, when I take the information given out by the UK Government on their site, you are actually encouraging parents who are not familiar with UK law to break the law.

Why would you want to do that? Is it that you take a negativistic attitude to everything?

Show quote history

Uk law says parents can be prosecuted if they leave children in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or damage to health. Leaving two capable teenagers is not leaving them in such a manner, it is not likely to cause suffering or damage to health unless the parents have done a shit job of raising them. That doesn't mean there's no chance of suffering or damage, accidents happen but if they weren't likely to happen then there is no case.

Blackdow · 24/05/2025 17:19

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:05

Then the law passers are also wrong?

By telling posters that I am wrong, when I take the information given out by the UK Government on their site, you are actually encouraging parents who are not familiar with UK law to break the law.

Why would you want to do that? Is it that you take a negativistic attitude to everything?

Show quote history

It is not against the law to leave a 17 year old and 15 year old him alone.
Find one case of prosecution for that? Given that kids do occasionally have parties which get out of hand when left alone, and those parties make the news, show me the reports of the parents being prosecuted.

It is not illegal because leaving a 17 year old with a 15 year does not constitute them being left in danger or in harms way.

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:24

Springhare76 · 22/05/2025 23:42

They're not fearful at all about me not returning. They don't live their lives in fear, unlike you and you offspring. They're confident, resilient kids who are HAPPY at the prospect of having the house to themselves for a few days. You obviously cannot wrap your tiny mind around that.

Show quote history

Fine, then. You asked if it was OK, I told you I would not do it and my reasons why..

Do what you like.

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:38

Lougle · 23/05/2025 11:33

It is not illegal. It is also not necessarily irresponsible. It could be, but it's situational. My 2 girls were absolutely safe to be left, with support from relatives available within 1 mile.

Children have a human right to be cared for.

Obviously, from the responses of posters, leaving them alone for a week does not negate that basic human right, because the majority of you seem to think it is OK.

The thread title is asking if the OP could leave her 15 and 17 year old alone in the house for a week while she went on holiday.

I said I would not, and gave my reasons why, and quoted from the Government legal site.

If the OP is doing that anyway, why ask us in the first place? All it does is give posters a chance to contradict other posters, and that confuses those who do not know the rights of children.

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:50

Natsku · 24/05/2025 17:09

Uk law says parents can be prosecuted if they leave children in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or damage to health. Leaving two capable teenagers is not leaving them in such a manner, it is not likely to cause suffering or damage to health unless the parents have done a shit job of raising them. That doesn't mean there's no chance of suffering or damage, accidents happen but if they weren't likely to happen then there is no case.

Show quote history

A major risk is from outside, when others, same age even, discover they are left alone and outnumber them.

I doubt a home insurer would pick up the tab for the damage.

I wouldn't do it, but if posters are confident that their children are capable of meeting any event, then let them.

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:58

Blackdow · 24/05/2025 17:19

It is not against the law to leave a 17 year old and 15 year old him alone.
Find one case of prosecution for that? Given that kids do occasionally have parties which get out of hand when left alone, and those parties make the news, show me the reports of the parents being prosecuted.

It is not illegal because leaving a 17 year old with a 15 year does not constitute them being left in danger or in harms way.

Show quote history

As I said, if you have no qualms about your minor children being left to their own resources, then leave them.

I said I would not, and gave my reasons why. I like to think I have regard for the law, and for the rights of my children.

There are always those who encourage others to break the law. A thread on here last month about under age sex had many posters saying it was fine, nothing wrong with it, let them get on with it, it isn't worth the expense of stopping them. They were determined to undermine any statement of the law.
The thread was withdrawn.

It isn't the only example. Why posters encourage others to break the law I don't know for sure, but it seems as though 'putting the cat among the pigeons' is a game, and caught up in it are people who do not know the laws, and when they see in print that it is OK to leave children, or OK to let them have sex at 14, and so on, it makes you wonder if anyone thinks children have no human rights at all and people can do what they like to them.

Blackdow · 24/05/2025 18:02

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:58

As I said, if you have no qualms about your minor children being left to their own resources, then leave them.

I said I would not, and gave my reasons why. I like to think I have regard for the law, and for the rights of my children.

There are always those who encourage others to break the law. A thread on here last month about under age sex had many posters saying it was fine, nothing wrong with it, let them get on with it, it isn't worth the expense of stopping them. They were determined to undermine any statement of the law.
The thread was withdrawn.

It isn't the only example. Why posters encourage others to break the law I don't know for sure, but it seems as though 'putting the cat among the pigeons' is a game, and caught up in it are people who do not know the laws, and when they see in print that it is OK to leave children, or OK to let them have sex at 14, and so on, it makes you wonder if anyone thinks children have no human rights at all and people can do what they like to them.

Show quote history

Sorry; I didn’t see where you gave examples of parents prosecuted for leaving a 17 year old home?

It is not illegal. You don’t understand the law.

Serenster · 24/05/2025 18:08

I’m slightly gobsmacked by this thread. When I was 17 I spent 10 days working as a live-in nanny for the family I regularly babysat for while the parents were away for 10 days (I was between school and university at the time).

Times (and parenting approaches) have clearly changed!

Natsku · 24/05/2025 18:21

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:50

A major risk is from outside, when others, same age even, discover they are left alone and outnumber them.

I doubt a home insurer would pick up the tab for the damage.

I wouldn't do it, but if posters are confident that their children are capable of meeting any event, then let them.

Show quote history

That is not a likely foreseeable risk, especially not in the age of doorbell cameras and suchlike. Does not fit the definition defined by law otherwise there would be parents across the country getting prosecuted because its entirely normal to leave teenagers alone for a few days.

blacksantanapkin · 24/05/2025 18:24

llizzie · 24/05/2025 17:58

As I said, if you have no qualms about your minor children being left to their own resources, then leave them.

I said I would not, and gave my reasons why. I like to think I have regard for the law, and for the rights of my children.

There are always those who encourage others to break the law. A thread on here last month about under age sex had many posters saying it was fine, nothing wrong with it, let them get on with it, it isn't worth the expense of stopping them. They were determined to undermine any statement of the law.
The thread was withdrawn.

It isn't the only example. Why posters encourage others to break the law I don't know for sure, but it seems as though 'putting the cat among the pigeons' is a game, and caught up in it are people who do not know the laws, and when they see in print that it is OK to leave children, or OK to let them have sex at 14, and so on, it makes you wonder if anyone thinks children have no human rights at all and people can do what they like to them.

Show quote history

At 17 they can just leave home and nobody could do anything about it

llizzie · 24/05/2025 19:22

Blackdow · 24/05/2025 18:02

Sorry; I didn’t see where you gave examples of parents prosecuted for leaving a 17 year old home?

It is not illegal. You don’t understand the law.

Show quote history

I didn't give examples. What difference would it have mattered to you anyway. You would still find something to harp on about?

I suppose it is possible to find out in a legal library.

llizzie · 24/05/2025 19:23

How long ago was it that children died in a fire while their parents were away?

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