Can I leave a 15 and 17 year old alone for 6 days whilst I go on holiday?

[Springhare76]

DH, DS3 and I have booked to go to Turkey for May half term. DS1 17 and DS2, 15, don't want to come as they want to stay in London to hang out with their friends, do sport etc. Both are getting to the age when they don't really want to go on holiday with their mum and stepdad. I had arranged for them to stay with their dad who lives 10 minutes away but they say they want to stay in the house and do their own thing (they're not overly keen on their dad). In any event, even if they did stay with him then they both have keys to the house and would definitely come and hang out here and stay over. Question is, is it safe to leave them alone at this age? They are both tough and self sufficient but probably won't be great at clearing up after themselves and there is a moderate risk DS1 will have a party or at a minimum invite friends over although I don't think he'd be really silly and invite loads. I feel guilty for going away without them but at the same time need a break and to spend some time with DS3 and DH who I barely see due to work schedules (pass like ships in the night). Thoughts?

That was very disrespectful of them to your mum and on that basis I would say they’re too immature (regardless of how “streetwise” they may or may not be) to be left alone.

Absolutely not, my last DS17 is still at home and me and DH are having 1 night away, 30mins from our house and I'm nervous. He's a good lad and I'm sure he won't have a party ....but as soon has his mates find out ...they will be round in a shot . We have cameras around our property so I will be keeping a beedy eye on any activity 😂

Well leave your minor children on their own. I wouldn't because I consider the risks too great, and I love my kids too much to risk them falling foul of bullies and other offenders.

You can leave your minor children wherever and whenever any why you like. Id someone finds out, or if something bad happens to them, you will be prosecuted for leaving minor children on their own.

If you are happy to leave them and buzz off on your own and enjoy yourself for a week without giving them a thought, then fine.

I wouldn't do it, and have given my reasons.

Don't castigate me and insult me for wanting to keep within my heart and the law. Those two should be compatible. As soon as a parent buzzes off and leaves her young, in my mind they do not deserve them.

17 is not young. No one is being prosecuted for leaving a 17 year old home, even if something happened to them.

I'd expect most 17 yo to be perfectly ok by themselves for a week, but there's always going to be some that aren't ready for it. You know your own kids better than the rest of MN. I definitely wouldn't leave a 15 yo alone/unsupervised for that length of time (I'll leave my dd, 15 for one or two nights max, but I'm rarely more than 10 miles away).

You can still go away on holiday as planned though - as long as their dad is happy to have them. If you trust them not to throw a party, or otherwise disrespect your house then leave them with their door keys and tell them they can come and go as they please. But also emphasise to their dad that he is responsible for them while you're away, regardless of where they are. The last thing you want is to be dealing with any issues remotely while you're away, even if it's some trivial bickering over who's turn it is to do the washing up, the distance still adds extra stress.

Now the whole site knows that you are one of those mothers who will gladly leave their minor children to fend for themselves when you want a holiday. You are so determined to convince all that it is legal that we can only assume you do it often.

You don't have to take my word for it at all. Do what you like and see what happens.

You let yourself down, because not only are you wrong, but your sole purpose, it seems, is to denigrate anyone who opposes you. Regardless of where I get my information from, the fact is that I am quoting the law. Go on the gov.co.uk site and ask the same question. It is a search engine too, like google. Why are you so sure you are right and the government and other search engines are wrong?

Is it because you regularly go away on holiday and leave the kids behind and you are justifying yourself by challenging everyone who says it is wrong?

You seem to have only one thing in mind when Ai is mentioned:

When you or your children feel ill do you go to the NHS information hub? Ai 'by any other name will smell as sweet.'

Do you believe the info the NHS gives you, or are you so convinced it is fake and they are trying to fool you?

Are you quite alright?

Has no one ever told you what dangers to look out for? The thread is not about a housewife being alone in the house and under attack. It is possible, but you have the capacity to know what to do.

Or do you? How many parents like you have no idea there is a law against leaving minor children to fend for themselves?

It is amoral to leave minor children on their own. It is also stupid for a parent to do so, because they can be prosecuted if anyone considers they are at risk.

Did you know there are people serving long prison sentences because their children died in fires while they were out?

Obviously, there are many parents like you who cannot see why they shouldn't do what they like, and that is a concern.

I keep the moral high ground. You can try and topple me: you will never succeed in changing my mind.

Are you?

I agree with the law. You ridicule that law and anyone who agrees with it. You can do that. You can do whatever you like. There are people serving prison sentences for exposing their children to danger.

I quote the law for the benefit of those who don't know. You disagree with me and say it is ok to break the law and abandon your children for your own pleasure. You should not post things that are against the law, and I question why you should want to convince other parents it is lawful to leave their children for a week.

You ignorance is astounding. I never realised there were so many parents who go on holiday on their own and leave minor children alone.

Do you even know what a minor child is?

What is wrong with you???

There is no law about leaving a 17 year old, practically adult teenager. There is actually no law about leaving a 15 year old either. I think the NSPCC advises against leaving at under 16 but there no law.

If you’re going to be hysterical at least get your facts straight.

I also went abroad for a week at 17 with my friend..What is that then? Child neglect? Ridiculous.

My parents did this when I was 17 and my sister was 13. There was no other parent still around and they went on a holiday that had them basically unreachable and inaccessible unless they radioed out to have the seaplane pick them up early because of an emergency.

should my parents have done this? HELL NO!!! It was insane. They basically disappeared and left me in charge of a child when I was still technically a minor. This was also back in the days when a teenager would not have had access to any more money than the cash in their own bank account or what the parents left for groceries. Credit cards were not as ubiquitous.

was there any real chance of something going wrong? Not really. I was the most responsible 17 year old to ever grace the planet. I was the kind of child who kept my room clean, studied without being told, and won every academic school award. My idea of getting wild with my friends was a movie marathon in someone’s lounge and we brought snacks to contribute and cleaned up after ourselves.

My sister on the other hand was the kind of teen to throw a party or sneak out. I had my hands full with her, but I had been parenting her for years so it was nothing new.

16 year olds can get married and vote in Scotland. Not a single person is getting prosecuted for leaving a 16 year old alone while they go on holiday. Even if there is a fire. And I doubt very much anyone would bother prosecuting with the ages of 17 and 15.

They are not little children. And if you’ve done your job properly as a parent then they will be plenty capable.

You can leave your minor children wherever and whenever any why you like. Id someone finds out, or if something bad happens to them, you will be prosecuted for leaving minor children on their own.

you can't be for real.

First, why are you not answering the question: HOW OLD are your kids?

I don't believe you do have any. I mean, I can't think of any parent whose problem and priority would be the risk of prosecution! We care about our kids, and their safety, the "fear of the law" has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Your obsession with "breaking the law" is not normal.

I don't think actual facts have a place in a discussion with this poster.

How many parents like you have no idea there is a law against leaving minor children to fend for themselves? What 17yo doesn't love to be treated like a fragile "minor child" 😂

They are minor children, and yes, they can get married with their parent's consent.

If a 16 year old married, and the spouse left and went on holiday, would you be OK with that?

There is no specific legal age for leaving a minor child alone, but parents can be prosecuted for neglect if it is judged that the child was left unsupervised in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury.

A week long period of unsupervised care for a minor is likely to be considered neglect.

I would have nothing to do with a parent who does such an amoral thing.

They do not need parental consent. They are 16. They’re not minor children anymore. They don’t need parents permission, they can marry, vote and absolutely stay home alone.

I’m not saying 16 year olds should get married and move out, but they are absolutely capable of being home alone. As is a 17 year old. And no one is going to care about a 15 year old being home alone for a bit.

Honestly I think there is something wrong with you. This doesn’t make sense.

If a 16 year old married, and the spouse left and went on holiday, would you be OK with that?

what?

Are you on a wind-up or are you drunk?

Well I must be a really crap parent then cos we’ve left my 17 & 15 yr olds many times for long weekends away and even a 5 day USA trip! They’re sensible kids and I trust them implicitly, and in return they respect boundaries and don’t take the piss with their freedom. They love it!

I think it really, really sad that so many mothers think it OK to leave minor children on their own for a week.

Apart from the fact that they can be prosecuted if the minor children is at risk, it tells the teens that when they have a family of their own, it is OK to leave them.

If by the time the posters' children are 15 and you are fed up with their company on holiday it doesn't say much for parenthood. There must be thousands of couples who would give anything to have children and are still waiting, and here on this thread people cannot wait to call them adults and buzz off out of it.

I uphold the law. I always have and always will. Why any parent would try to convince others that it is OK to leave your minor children on their own is very worrying.

Do what you like, but I think you should think twice about telling people on this site that it is OK and legal, which is what you are doing. I quote the law: you and others oppose me and thereby oppose the law. What a way to bring up children, the purpose being to teach them to obey the law.

A 17 year old is not a minor child.
No one, absolutely no one, is being prosecuted for leaving a 17 year old home alone. Leaving a 17 year old for a week is not considered putting them at risk. It isn’t against the law.

You need to grow up. And stop making up laws. This is the second thread I’ve seen you do it on. You read the law from AI, you don’t understand what it’s saying and then you parrot off your version of it whilst thinking you’re correct. You’re not.

This thread is about teenagers who don't want to go on holiday, not parents not wanting to take their teens on holiday. Those are two very different situations. Normal healthy teenagers start wanting to separate more from their parents as they get closer to adulthood and do their own thing during holidays. Some will be happy to do their own thing while on holiday together with their parents, others would rather do their own thing at home. This is normal adolescent development and should be encouraged within reason (making sure you do all still spend time together as well)

All I can say is go on holiday and leave the kids behind if they don't want to go.
Do what you like, run the risk. They are not my DC. I just say what the consequences might be.

If they have a party and their friends wreck to house and steal valuables to buy drugs, I just don't see an insurance company paying out.

I ordered an extra front door key 3 years ago and it didn't arrive, probably because the fool of a locksmith put his logo on the packet.

I contacted my home insurers and asked if it affected my insurance and they said it most certainly did and gave me two days to get a new lock.

I just cannot see any house insurers paying out for a wrecked house, so I would not run the risk.