DD's clothes - say something or nothing?

[Mayflyoff]

My parents have commented twice on 14yo DD's clothes recently. The first time was a dress that just covered her bum, but she had shorts under it. The second time apparently her dress was showing more cleavage than they thought appropriate. Both times they were out with her in public, so not just commenting on what she was wearing round the house.

Do I share these comments with DD so that she can choose to dress differently around them (or not, as she pleases) or should I just ignore them?

She's a lovely girl, no other issues have been raised.

Why should she dress differently around them? They need to learn to keep their comments to themselves.

Yeah, I don't particularly think she should, but I'm not sure if that should be her decision to make, rather than mine, by not telling her.

My daughter started wearing clothes like that at that age. I didn't say anything as to be honest I'm still recovering from the weird 80s clothes I wore!

Your parents need to realise they probably had similar comments made about them by elders in their time!

It's more annoying they think they have the right to comment on a young girls body to you 🤷🏻‍♀️ you should keep the comments to yourself, if your DD isn't dressing inappropriately then they're just being perhaps a bit older fashioned - no need to give your DD worried about what she's wearing around family members if it's not necessary.

Well there's an argument for wearing the right clothes for the right occasion and that's fairly important skill to have. So I would mention it to her, that the grandparents are a bit more conservative and to keep that in mind next time she goes out with them. And I would say the same to a boy. My Grandparents didn't like boys wearing their boxes high and baggy jeans or tracksuits if not exercising etc, I remember my Cousin turning up with his eyebrows pierced and not being allowed into their house as "we don't have eejits here".

You are the parent, what do you think about her clothes.
At 14 she is still young enough (imo) to listen to parental advice.

I think it's your parents you need to say something too

Teenagers wearing stuff the adults don't approve of, is as old as time.
They are experimenting and grow out of it.
We all did!

Genuinely I'd say nothing to your DD, as long as she is happy and comfortable it's all good x

I don’t like how young teen girls wear increasingly sexualised and revealing clothes, and we’re all somehow pressured to pretend it’s ok and we shouldn’t comment

If she is making grandad uncomfortable- afraid that he might be about to see her knickers - that's unkind - I mean what man wants to look to see if the child is wearing shorts or avoid looking at the child just in case they see something they shouldn't

yes i would say something to her. if my dd were to wear a dress that short and showing any kind of cleavage my parents wouldnt have to say anything, she would be sent back upstairs to change.

Yes I think it’s down to you really. Only you know if your parents have a point or if your dd is just wearing the same sort of stuff as others her age.

I remember my Gran literally standing in front of me at the door as I was about to go out once aged 16 in a mini skirt the size of a belt 😳😂

please don't. 14 is a very tricky age - bodies of woman but minds and emotions of a child. telling her would be body shamming her and will make her self conscious for the rest of her life. I bit my lip with some of my daughter's clothing choices at that age - but I am glad I did. I am more interested in how she feels about her body and what she wears rather than someone else's opinion. kids are learning everything - learning what to wear is not different either. But it should be limited to appropriateness of occasion rather than style choice. If she was going to job interview it might be appropriate for a longer skirt etc - but in general leave her be.

No you don’t tell your DD.
You tell your parents to shut up about how your DD dresses and under no circumstances are they to make any comments directly to DD or they will have you to answer to.

No, don’t share their inappropriate comments with her. Ask them not to make inappropriate comments about your daughter.

I do think young girls are encouraged to wear totally revealing clothes that are far too old/unflattering for them.

Fashionable around here are skin tight flesh coloured leggings, some with an elasticated seam up the backside, they look like they are naked.
God knows why their mothers allow them out wearing this garb.

Thankfully I had a son not a daughter.

What am I reading?! That we need to teach girls that they must choose clothes that make the men looking at them not feel uncomfortable? 😣

Hello Grandma 👋

Have a word with your parents, not your DD. How dare they?

What kind of grandad is looking at a 14 year olds arse. Fuck sake.

Ignore them. Btw would they have made a comment if she was just wearing the shorts without the dress or not? Because they cover the same amount of skin…

If grandad feels uncomfortable that's his issue!

Especially as there's no need for him to be looking to see if a young female relative is wearing shorts. If he did see someone's knickers it's hardly the biggest issue in the world - I've also managed to be around many many people wearing short dresses and never found it a problem not to look at their knickers! Not the teenage DDs problem.

My daughters can wear shorts dresses/bikinis/crop tops/whatever around all sets of their grandads/step grandads, because their grandads aren’t a bunch of massive nonces

There’s something to be said for dressing according to the company. My husbands 16 year old cousin dresses in what I’d consider underwear (cropped bralet and tiiiiiny shorts) all the time, with an unzipped hoodies over the top, not right for a Sunday lunch at the pub! She is a gymnast and has a bod to be proud of but I’d love to put jeans on her sometimes and I’m 32 😂