Page 5 | Prom - he’s upset he’s going to miss it!

RochfordRuby · 2024-10-21T11:48:36+00:00

Help! We’ve booked a holiday for next Summer and just found out the yr 11 school prom is when we’re away. Son is so upset he’s going to miss it. Inconsolable. Can’t move the holiday as it’s all booked but don’t know what to say to try and appease him. Advice please

Comefromaway · 21/10/2024 15:35

My son didn't want to go to Prom (was cancelled in 2020 anyway) but that was unusual due to asd/social issues/. There is no way I'd have made him miss it if he wanted to go.

He needs to stay behind.

Choochoo21 · 21/10/2024 15:37

Could he go for just half the holiday and fly back with 1 parent or by himself?

TheGirlFromTheSummerBefore · 21/10/2024 15:39

I'm old. I wish we had had this rite of passage.

For my generation it was weird deciding whether to go to school after exams and mix with other pupils we had known for five years, sitting wearing jeans and smoking in musty classrooms or to stay at home and see it all as being in the past.

We were just cut loose entirely and it felt ...awful and sad.

.

FrenchandSaunders · 21/10/2024 15:41

Depending on what type of lad he is, could he be left home alone, go to the prom and then fly out to meet you the next day?

I would have done this with one of mine without any worries. The other, not a chance, the prom after party would have been at ours 😀, so it does depend on their personality!

GinForBreakfast · 21/10/2024 15:42

Let him miss a bit of the holiday. Can he stay with a friend? I am not at all pro-prom (it's a piece of imported USA nonsense) but you can't tell a 16 year old they can't go. It's really important to them.

Apollo365 · 21/10/2024 15:45

I’ve never forgiven my parents for booking a holiday over my prom. I’m in my late 30s now.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 21/10/2024 15:47

TheGirlFromTheSummerBefore · 21/10/2024 15:39

I'm old. I wish we had had this rite of passage.

For my generation it was weird deciding whether to go to school after exams and mix with other pupils we had known for five years, sitting wearing jeans and smoking in musty classrooms or to stay at home and see it all as being in the past.

We were just cut loose entirely and it felt ...awful and sad.

.

I'm so glad we didn't! I couldn't wait to leave school and would have hated having to spend more time with my year group, especially outside of school hours. The only sad thing for me was realising I was going to have to work!

In OP's case, let him stay with friends and fly out the next day.

LlynTegid · 21/10/2024 15:49

Probably a good job I am not a relative. A golden wedding anniversary is something to be celebrated, a prom is an awful tradition and were I education secretary no school could ever be an outstanding one if they hold such an event. I'd feel a sense of failure over not having instilled a sense of perspective.

Hoppinggreen · 21/10/2024 15:49

If my parents/in laws got arsey about my 16 year old not missing prom for their wedding anniversary I would be ignoring them at best or telling them to grow up at worst (or telling DH to if it was his lot)

LlynTegid · 21/10/2024 15:49

My objection to proms is well documented on MN.

BeMintBee · 21/10/2024 15:50

LlynTegid · 21/10/2024 15:49

My objection to proms is well documented on MN.

Great you don’t need to keep wanging on then!

PurplePattern · 21/10/2024 15:50

Prom trumps 50th wedding anniversary without a shadow of a doubt. He either stays with friends, or one of you stay with him, but whatever you do, that has to be your first priority. With all respect, he is not going to remember a 50th wedding anniversary, but he will always remember his prom.
I sincerely hope for your son's sake that you can make it work for him.

BESTAUNTB · 21/10/2024 15:51

He could stay with a friend or a relative who isn’t going on the hol. I think it should be his choice. I agree with everyone else.

At 50+ I’m too old to have had proms but no way would I have missed my post-GCSE celebrations with all my mates. It’s still a fond memory.

If the elderly married couple whinge about one person not going, then frankly they need to be told that they’re being rather silly. But in fairness, they will probably understand. We were all young once.

MayaKovskaya · 21/10/2024 15:51

LlynTegid · 21/10/2024 15:49

Probably a good job I am not a relative. A golden wedding anniversary is something to be celebrated, a prom is an awful tradition and were I education secretary no school could ever be an outstanding one if they hold such an event. I'd feel a sense of failure over not having instilled a sense of perspective.

Right. So every single school would be in downgraded because the yr11 leavers want a celebration to remember?
Ok.

Hoppinggreen · 21/10/2024 15:51

LlynTegid · 21/10/2024 15:49

Probably a good job I am not a relative. A golden wedding anniversary is something to be celebrated, a prom is an awful tradition and were I education secretary no school could ever be an outstanding one if they hold such an event. I'd feel a sense of failure over not having instilled a sense of perspective.

I am going to assume that you are neither education secretary NOR 16 so I am not sure your opinion counts for much here.
OP's son wants to go and is very upset at the prospect of missing out, thats what matters

Apollo365 · 21/10/2024 15:53

LlynTegid · 21/10/2024 15:49

Probably a good job I am not a relative. A golden wedding anniversary is something to be celebrated, a prom is an awful tradition and were I education secretary no school could ever be an outstanding one if they hold such an event. I'd feel a sense of failure over not having instilled a sense of perspective.

You bah humbug.
Just call it a leavers disco if prom upsets you 🤣👌🏼

Thursdaygirl · 21/10/2024 15:54

I was trying to find something witty to say, about people having too much time on their hands .....

elderflowerspritzer · 21/10/2024 15:54

Don't make your son miss his prom. It's really important. Let him stay at home/ find him someone to stay with whilst you're away.

Thursdaygirl · 21/10/2024 15:54

I was trying to find something witty to say, about people having too much time on their hands .....

SORRY posted on wrong thread

BeMintBee · 21/10/2024 15:55

I can’t get excited about prom my youngest didn’t go to his but my eldest did. Regardless of people’s thoughts on proms many 16 year old don’t want to miss out on an event that all their friends will attend. Unfortunately it not just the one evening, it will be the whole run up and the social media bombardment during and after.

if you think he’s inconsolable now then wait until it comes around and you have a miserable teen on a family holiday celebrating an old persons wedding anniversary. There will be other wedding anniversaries why is 50 years so much more important than 51 🤷‍♀️

I would find a work around it it were me.

sweetpickle2 · 21/10/2024 15:55

If I was made to go celebrate a 50th wedding anniversary instead of my prom age 16 I would have been absolutely MISERABLE to be around for the entire holiday. Let him stay home OP, for all your sakes.

JohnCravensNewsround · 21/10/2024 15:57

You give him options
Can stay at home and do Prom, he will miss the holiday
You can book him a flight to join part way through
You can have a party at the end of exams.

The only cost free option is that you make him come. Frankly I doubt it is worth it and he will forever remember missing it. It's a huge deal. Dd had hers this year and it was all anyone talked about for the six month lead up and since!

TalesOfTheGoldMonkey · 21/10/2024 15:57

I’m afraid I’d be putting my son ahead of a 50th anniversary. I’d tell granny and grandad that he won’t be there, and then work out how best to accommodate him. It really is a big thing for them, and mine had a wonderful time at theirs. And I loved seeing them all glammed up.

Iliketulips · 21/10/2024 15:58

Lesson learned, look ahead. Looking back, I'd have chosen seeing DD in her dress, dropping off, the excitement of watching her go off with friends, luckily we were able to walk around and see other children we knew and chat, and seeing photos afterwards over an anniversary celebration. It'll be his time to celebrate, without realising saying goodbye to some of his friends and school and moving on.

If you have a partner/husband can one of you stay behind and follow on with him. If not and finances permit, I'd forget celebration and re-arrange dates for your immediate household and have a good break in the area instead.

MumonabikeE5 · 21/10/2024 15:59

You need to adjust your holiday.

or if it’s right in the middle or a 3+ week holiday then maybe you can fly back for a weekend.

The prom is a right of passage .
you made a mistake booking a holiday in Y11 without being mind ful of it, and I think it’s a good idea if you can shift things around without making him feel bad about it.

you can fix it mama!