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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

'I'm not cleaning toilets'

200 replies

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:40

I'm trying to encourage my 17 year old to get a weekend/ holiday job and have texted him a range of opportunities which I've found online. I asked him to chase up one which was cleaning camper vans to which he responded 'that's not the kind of thing I want to do - I'm not cleaning toilets'. This has really got my back up. Both myself and dh cleaned toilets, washed pots and pans, chambermaided, pulled pints etc as students. I'm annoyed that I've raised someone so entitled. Who does he think he is? Advice please?

OP posts:

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shellyleppard · 03/03/2024 22:43

Op I think he's going to get a shock when he starts work. No one likes doing the dirty jobs but if he can just muck in.....we have all done horrible jobs. Its not forever....

Pieceofpurplesky · 03/03/2024 22:45

I've done some crappy jobs but never done anything where I have to empty toilets. I just wouldn't be able to. Let him find his own job

Cherryon · 03/03/2024 22:46

I don’t see an issue. It’s not like it’s clean toilets or live on the streets. He can afford to be a bit choosy. It’s not like he is refusing all student type menial jobs. If he prefers stocking shelves or waiting tables, what’s the difference?

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:46

Totally agree @shellyleppard ! He needs a wake up call...

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Cherryon · 03/03/2024 22:48

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:46

Totally agree @shellyleppard ! He needs a wake up call...

Why? If you genuinely want to help him find a job why not listen to his feedback as to the sort of menial, non-entitled job he would be happy to do?

TotalDramarama24 · 03/03/2024 22:48

I must be a bit entitled too as I would absolutely hate a job cleaning camper vans and wouldn't encourage any of my teens to do it either. I used to own a holiday let and people can be surprisingly disgusting nowadays. I'd rather my teens did something else.

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:49

He's also said he doesn't want to work in a cafe @Cherryon 🙄I said beggars can't be choosers...

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Geebray · 03/03/2024 22:51

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:40

I'm trying to encourage my 17 year old to get a weekend/ holiday job and have texted him a range of opportunities which I've found online. I asked him to chase up one which was cleaning camper vans to which he responded 'that's not the kind of thing I want to do - I'm not cleaning toilets'. This has really got my back up. Both myself and dh cleaned toilets, washed pots and pans, chambermaided, pulled pints etc as students. I'm annoyed that I've raised someone so entitled. Who does he think he is? Advice please?

Oh really? Was your DH a chambermaid? Did he clean toilets?

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:53

No he wasn't a chambermaid but he cleaned pub toilets. We just got on with it!

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TotalDramarama24 · 03/03/2024 22:55

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:53

No he wasn't a chambermaid but he cleaned pub toilets. We just got on with it!

As part of working in a pub then, not a job working alone just cleaning all day long?

Brendaloves · 03/03/2024 22:59

I’m not sure refusing to clean a toilet is entitled. I personally couldn’t bring myself to clean strangers toilets either, even my cleaner won’t give our loos a good scrub it’s something she leaves us to do and rightly so in my opinion.

id ask him what he would like to do, Lots of jobs like working at the local supermarket wouldn’t entail the task. If he’s still not interested then, yes possibly entitled.

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:59

Yes - I'm asking him consider doing anything including jobs which might involve some toilet cleaning!

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Beamur · 03/03/2024 23:00

Let him find his own job. Tell him what pocket money he's going to get and if he wants more, will have to find a job..

Smartiepants79 · 03/03/2024 23:01

It’s the attitude that he’s too good for it that gets your back up isn’t it.
Of course he’s allowed to have preferences, maybe he doesn’t have to clean toilets. But at his age, with 0 experience or real skills he’s maybe going to have to just see what he can get.
Hopefully he’ll get lucky. When I was his age we were pretty much just grateful for any job we could get. I’ve been a chambermaid, stacked shelves, waitresses, pot washed and packed in warehouses. Each job taught me something.

Cherryon · 03/03/2024 23:01

boobashka · 03/03/2024 22:49

He's also said he doesn't want to work in a cafe @Cherryon 🙄I said beggars can't be choosers...

He can be a bit choosy. Your approach is going to put him off all work at this rate.

boobashka · 03/03/2024 23:01

Yes @Brendaloves to be fair to him he had expressed an interest in working in his favourite posh outdoor supplies shop but there are no jobs available there at the moment. So he might have to consider other options...

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NoCloudsAllowed · 03/03/2024 23:02

Beamur · 03/03/2024 23:00

Let him find his own job. Tell him what pocket money he's going to get and if he wants more, will have to find a job..

This.

'you're so entitled you won't do the job I went out and found you' - something amiss there. If he didn't have it sweet at home, he'd be out finding work himself.

NoCloudsAllowed · 03/03/2024 23:03

Does he clean the bathroom and toilets at home? Does he think it's demeaning?

boobashka · 03/03/2024 23:03

Yes @Smartiepants79 you get it - thank you. He has no experience or skills yet feels he too good to start at the bottom.

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Starseeking · 03/03/2024 23:05

At that age, I had a part-time job first in Sainsburys and then M&S, and would have crawled over broken glass to get away from cleaning strangers toilets, as disgusting toilets make me feel like vomiting, so I really don't blame him not wanting to do that.

boobashka · 03/03/2024 23:06

@NoCloudsAllowed you're giving me pause for thought. My kids certainly have chores to do and help around the house. He doesn't clean the loos though. He does get minimal pocket money. Perhaps I need to rethink a few things...

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Hmmmbetterchangethis · 03/03/2024 23:07

as a teen I worked in a bakery including cleaning, a hairdressers sweeping and washing hair, as an adult in a nursery cleaning bums. Ive done warehouse and shop work. I’ve never cleaned a toilet and have avoided applying for jobs which would involve this.
it’s his choice and it’s ok to make that choice.
cleaning up the mess capable adults leave behind in toilets isn’t worth any money in the world, IMO……,

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HeddaGarbled · 03/03/2024 23:08

No chimneys to send him up, I don’t suppose?

Itslegitimatesalvage · 03/03/2024 23:08

I wouldn’t have taken a job doing that either. I worked in shops as a sales assistant. Wouldn’t take a job which involved cleaning. What’s wrong with that? I didn’t want to do that as a teen, and that’s fine. He can say no. As long as there are other options.

TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow · 03/03/2024 23:09

Plenty of people will never have had a job that involved cleaning toilets, both my adult dc had jobs from 15/16 but have never had to clean toilets.

Just let him get on with finding his own job

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