'I'm not cleaning toilets'

[boobashka]

I'm trying to encourage my 17 year old to get a weekend/ holiday job and have texted him a range of opportunities which I've found online. I asked him to chase up one which was cleaning camper vans to which he responded 'that's not the kind of thing I want to do - I'm not cleaning toilets'. This has really got my back up. Both myself and dh cleaned toilets, washed pots and pans, chambermaided, pulled pints etc as students. I'm annoyed that I've raised someone so entitled. Who does he think he is? Advice please?

I wouldn't want to clean toilets either. As a teen I worked in retail, cinema, walked dogs - there are plenty of jobs, he can get one that doesn't involve toilets at all.

My dad used to say that no honest work is beneath anyone.

What your son needs is indeed a reality check. He needs to know what it is like to need a job and that turning down work is a luxury most people can't afford.

I'd pick one thing or maybe two things you are currently paying for and tell him he has to get some sort of job to pay for it himself or he goes without it.

The people who start at the bottom and work up don't get very far these days.

Shop floor to ceo is unusual.

www.retail-week.com/people/can-you-still-go-from-the-shopfloor-to-the-board-room-in-retail/7036775.article

I don't blame him, I wouldn't clean toilets either. And if my parents had suggested it I would have ignored them.

Yet by your own admission, the child YOU raised is one of them! 😂

I had actually forgotten about it until I saw this thread. When my youngest DD was small, I got a job cleaning offices in the village where we lived,shock horror, including the toilets! The boss asked why I was doing it, and offered me a secretarial position. I had actually applied for nursing training. Guess what I cleaned up people and the toilets they had just used. Fast forward, second marriage,cleaned the local primary school (before going off to a night shift at the hospital) it included toilets. My oldest DS, at 16 cleaned his school,all 4 kids worked at local racecourse,pot washing, prepping,2 girls housekeeping at local hotel. Both went on to become managers in large supermarkets, and one managing a large team in TFL.

But the OP is the one whose child is refusing to clean toilets! So by your logic, that is her fault!

Starting at the bottom doesn’t have to mean in the same career let alone the same organisation….

to be fair i wouldn't want to either and wouldn't expect my children to. sorry but i put myself through uni and grafted so i wouldn't have to and my children would never need to

@2mummies1baby yes, he is one of these entitled youngsters and that's why I'm appalled at his attitude and something has got to change! I did not think i was bringing him up to be that kind of person.

We’ve had motorhomes and cleaning the toilet is like 5% of the cleaning tbh so it’s really not a big deal.
Has he never been tasked with bathroom cleaning at home? If not, herein lies the problem-he sees it as something somebody else does.
I find that weird, like expecting someone else you wipe your arse.
We have a cleaner but I still freshen the toilets every morning.

Guess what, lots of people start at 'the bottom' as you call it and stay there doing valuable and socially useful work. We are all needed and some of the jobs people here wouldn't want to do or see their children doing are a damn sight more useful than a lot of the bullshit jobs around which require degrees (I have had some of those kind of jobs!). Do you know who I remember the most from my time having babies in hospital? It's the woman who came around with the meals who was there when I had both children 4 years apart, who was kind and cheerful and had a word for everybody. Not everybody wants or needs to 'rise' - impossible in any case - what's needed is a fairer society where ordinary working people can live decent lives and where there is respect for the broad range of human input into the economy and society.

Maybe he will find his own role? ATM he is 17 and no one s dream job is scrubbing loos! Lots of supermarket /fast food outlets its not like scrubbing loo is the only choice!

He isn't hungry enough for the money yet. Once he is, he will find his own job. Leave him to it.

Hmmm. Mixed views on this one.

I have cleaned toilets, wiped arses, cleaned up vomit etc as part of paid work when I was a student and in my early career years when my career wasn't generating enough income by itself. I split up with my then partner because he wouldn't but was content to let me carry the financial responsibility, his argument being "I didn't put myself through 3 years of university to do that." So I get where you're coming from OP - toilets need cleaning. Why is it ok for some people to do it but not others?

However, I wouldn't make my DC do it if they didn't want to. University students/new graduates are more likely to get established in good careers if they have the time and financial security to take their time growing their CV and then later finding the right job. It unfairly entrenches social inequality for those young people who don't have that support and have to take the first job they can find that will pay their rent but then may restrict them building their careers. So although I came up through the school of hard knocks and think no one is too good to clean toilets, I've decided I'd rather my DC take jobs that will benefit their long-term future even if they're less well paid. I'm fortunate I can do this, I know.

The big caveat is that they have been brought up from day dot to believe everyone is equal and job title/earnings do not equate to worth. I ran out household as a team and they've done their own laundry since the age of 11 and clean their own shared bathroom. I have friends who range from unemployed and on benefits, cleaners, waitresses, care workers, company directors, civil servants, accountants, etc so they can see that in action too.

Toilet resistance: reasonable. Cafe: not.

Wow! You went to university, amazing. What an unusual pathway. 🙄 So you think this puts you a a level where neither you nor your children should never have to do menial jobs again. I also grafted my way through university without parental help and have a doctorate in fact (if we're in the business of deciding who is above such things) and I think that just is a sign that I was lucky to be born at a time where such things were possible for working class people, not that I am some kind of superior being. My father had about 5 years of formal schooling (7-12) and could wipe the floor with me and most others in terms of his knowledge and insight.

How do you think he would even get offered a job he is so unwilling to do? They’d pick up on it at the interview and give the job to someone else. Cleaning isn’t for everyone in the same way working outdoors isn’t for everyone or working with the public isn’t for everyone.

And saying beggars can’t be choosers isn’t helpful given he isn’t a beggar. Just back off and let him find a job himself.

I get you, OP. We've all had to do jobs that weren't exactly fun but you just crack on with it. He'll get a lot further in life if he's willing to muck in and get on with it. We all had to start somewhere and usually the desire to make your own money means you put up with stuff that isn't always ideal. That's life and it's character building.

My son at 14 was working in a church cafe cleaning loos and emptying bins at 15 -16 he was mucking out stables 17 he was working at the food bank at 18 he worked as a cleaner now at 19 hes need deep in crap as he works full time sewers and loves it good pay.

The head teacher of a school I worked at many years ago cleaned the boys toilets once when there had been a particularly yucky incident. She mucked in and got the job (whatever it was) done. Nothing was beneath her. She had the full respect of her team.

But you’ve said he doesn’t need the money.

Most people wouldn’t clean toilets if they didn’t need the money. So I don’t think he has an unusual or entitled attitude, given the fortunate situation he is in.

You need to explain to him why he does need the money (future uni costs) and the work experience/CV points. Or stop his pocket money or stop paying his phone bill so he needs the money now.

Yes @minipie . Think you're right. There are going to be some changes around here 😁

I think this is my favourite post on this thread 😂

Well done your ds!

I think you are being a bit harsh on him I wouldn’t want to clean campers and really I’m sure there are other options! But that said working is great for teens and he is certainly old enough to do that. I would let him pick his own though and make it that he needed work for luxuries. That way he will want to get a job and will encourage him to find his own.